Famous Funnies #7

John Alden is too bashful to court Priscilla, so he asks Miles Standish to speak on his behalf—but in this humorous take on the classic colonial tale, things don't go quite as planned. The story plays with familiar names and romantic awkwardness for a quick laugh.

Hercules returns home triumphant from his legendary quest for the three golden apples, having conquered armies, the Hydra, and the enchanted isle of Circe—only to find his heroic reputation crumbling over a single misstep at the bridge table. When the mighty warrior fails to make his bid and mistakenly trumps his partner's ace, the town writes him off as a bum, proving that even the greatest mythological feats can't salvage a reputation ruined by one embarrassing evening with the boys.

Robinson Crusoe finds himself a castaway no longer after 30 years on his island—when a passing boat spots his signal, civilization comes calling with all its modern trappings: radio broadcasts, movie contracts, and vaudeville deals. But the promised glamour of the city proves too much for him to handle, and he's forced to make a choice about where he truly belongs.

In "null" from Famous Funnies #7 (1935), castaways Slim and Tubby struggle to survive on the isolated Rook's island, building a fragile life amid the wild. But the enigmatic Rook watches from the shadows, quietly working to undo their efforts—leaving them to wonder if they’re truly alone, or if the island itself is against them.

"The Aztecs" presents a striking fact from history: the Aztec civilization performed mass human sacrifices to honor a hummingbird deity, a practice that reveals the spiritual beliefs and scale of ritual in their culture. This single-page piece draws from the "Strange As It Seems" series, offering a window into one of history's most unusual religious customs.