Puck — September 10, 1879 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. TRODDLEDUMS, THE SIMIAN. E left our hero hidden in a bag, ‘And pounded very nearly to a rag; For, as detailed in the preceding chapter, "Twas in the shades of evening that his captor Had walloped him with diabolic joy, Mistaking of him for a vagrom boy.. And when that captor saw whom he had pounded, He started back, considerably astounded. Yes, Troddledums emerged with aspect solemn And feeling limp about the spinal column. ‘The man upon whose trap he chanced to sit ‘Was a physician known as Dr. Schmitt. He smiled upon the monkey bland, He stooped and took him by the hand; . And led him in the house. Please guess ‘The astonishment of Mrs. S. She laughed and laughed until she cried, And the Doctor rocked from side to side, And the nurse-maid opened her hash-shaft wide, And the baby couldn't laugh, but it tried. Mrs. Schmitt, she patted him on the head, And gave him an apple round and red: ‘And, thus consoled for all his pain, Troddleduris finds a home again; He's friends with all the kindly Schmitts, Except the feline and the Spitz. . PART V. The Spits’s name is Jim, his fel- low feline is named Samuel. They do not like this new intruder, And Jim is rude and Sam is ruder ‘They snub him with a haughty air He eats his apple, and doesn’t care— He flings their proffered scorn away, And grows in favor day by day. The family their love express By giving him a gorgeous dress. He has a coat of pale pea-green, ‘The very palest ever seen. ‘The coat is rather short behind, But really, Troddledum's doesn't mind; He has a pair of figured breeches Decked with embroidered silken stitches. And thus he hastens to admire His new and gor-ge-ous attire. ‘The Troddledums, as days went by, Got to be one of the family. He danced, he chattered, and he leapt; And brushed off fi& when the baby slept. And one day, as, with airy grace, He swung the flipflap o'er her face, ‘The Nursemaid in the window sought A fly, ultimatelee she caught— In a paper cornucopia She caught him, singing «tra-la-la!” To Troddledums presented she This lively young menagerie. She gave it with deceitful face: He took it with a lordly grace; And put his fingers sofily in And thought he'd struck a red-hot pin: MOVE! New York, Sept. 9, 1879. Dear Puck: I will be brief, for I am sick. Is there a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Adults in this city? I reside up-town, and “ oft in the stilly night," when I am about to close my eyes in sleep, a band of youthful minstrels, whose acquaintance with music is wofully dispropor- tioned to their acquaintance with beer, begin to serenade a certain young lady named Mary Ann,'who, it appears, issomebody’s “‘ dawter.”” She can play the “‘ pi-an-a” and has a ‘‘ very fine eddication,” which is not true of her admirers, The less said about their education, the better; and as for their playing that probably consists of a profound knowledge of Forty-five and Dominoes. Sally, whoever Sally is, is the Only other recipient of their musical attentions. They invite her to ‘‘rise;” but if I may judge from the number of times they repeat the line, “Rise, Sally, rise; she never budges an inch, Discouraged by Sally’s failure to appreciate their entertainment, they return to Mary Ann, | but, as before, she does not notice them. Unless the authorities come to my relief, will notice them (the minstrels) with a pail of water, prepared by the kitchen-maid for the occasion. Sleepily yours, Leo C. Evans. You had better move. The gentlemen of whom you complain are probably citizens of the United States, and, as such, have a guaran- teed right to sing.—U. S. Constitution, Art. 1, Sec, 1.—Ep. Puck. -match the contest- At the coming walking stockings, so as to ants are to wear clock keep accurate time. ‘TEMPORA MUTANTUR—Formerly they were foolish virgins, who had no oil; now they are the foolish virgins who are too free with the kerosene, CELLULOIDS. WHEN two couple of young people start out riding in a two-seated carriage, they are as happy as four loving clams until the shades of evening approach, and then the couple in the front seat begin to realize that the crying need of this great, free and majestic country of ours is—a two-seat carriage with the front seat be- hind. A younc lady from St. Louis, visiting in Cincinnati, says: ‘‘ It's awful handy to have a big booktionary with glass windows to keep the big dictionary and onethinganother in.” Onto girls are very fond of all kinds of harmless games, but some of the elder ones are partial to chess and checkers, ‘cause while play- ing those games they can “‘ move the men,” so to speak. BEEswax. commiclnooks.cony]