Puck — July 30, 1879 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. « Maggie—darling—will you not answer tt and he ht both her hands in his, and she made no effort to remove them. She only looked up into his face with the smile he loved so well and said—slowly, lowly, sweetly: “You know I do.” (To be continued.) THE TASTE OF THE MOSQUITO. Down by the dashing Restigouche, Where lordly salmon rise To make themselves acquainted with A Princess armed with flies. The Princess reasoned with the sprite; What else could fisher do? “ My newest, dearest, armed Knight, Would I could fly with you!” “I know your taste, your ladyship, You love a ‘laddie’ bonny, While I forego the vulgar sip For blood that’s sweet as honey. “ Indeed I own a stinging wit ‘That nothing will suffice; ‘The best blood of the land’s but fit For me; I love what's nice! “I welcome to the ‘ fisher’s luck,’ ‘Those who most need repose, Far from the stings of Grip or Puck, Those witlings who give blows! “J welcome Princess, Marquis, suite, To my domain of right, Where the St. Lawrence rivers meet, And all can get ‘a bite’ “Your taste to streams and valleys takes, Where the scaled salmon come, Admiring fauna, flowers and breaks: My rule’s to stay ‘ to hum!’ “ Lady, then seek great Ottawa, ‘There, in your brightest sheen, May all your paths for many a day Be robed in evergreen!” — Toronto Grip. Mutes never brayed their tails—atural Historical Boston Post, ‘I'ue verdant youths who bet on the wrong horse were green-backers.—. Y. News. “First come, first surfed,” is the bathing- house rule at Coney Island.—Syracuse Stand- ard, Dip you ever see such weather? Never! What, never? Well, hotly ever. — AWanta Constitution, Sara BERNHARDT is said to be thin enough to make a first-class toothpick for David Davis, Phila, Kronikle-Herald, Joaquin Miter says that those who love the beautiful are never bad. And yet Joaquin loves the beautiful.— Boston Weekly Transcript, “Texas is the land of miracles,” says the New Orleans Zimes. Somebody must have es- caped being shot there lately.—Oj/ City Der- rick, Pror. Swirt, of Rochester, stays out until 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning, and then tells his wife that he has discovered a new planet.— Jew Orleans Picayune. . From the frequency with which Senator David Davis’s name appears in the papers, one would suppose the printers were fond of fat.— Boston Commercial Bulletin, Women always claim to be anxious to have as good husbands as possible, and yet we never attended a wedding where the bride married the best man,—Boston Post, Tue frequency with which the odor of a poor cigar assails people's nostrils now-a-days causes them to lament over the waste of raw sauerkraut material.— Rome Sentinel, Tue ambitious city young man is now savin; up money enough to enable him to spend fif- teen or twenty minutes in some fashionable watering place.— Bridgeport Standard. Now let some ingenious fellow invent a pre- paration for browning a man’s face and taking the skin off his nose, and seaside resorts can be dispensed with.—Mew Haven Register. Tittes and degrees conferred by country colleges are about as useful to a man as a pair of side-whiskers that do not indicate the qual- ity of the brain— Mew Orleans Picayune, A CLERGYMAN won the canoe race at Lake George the other day. The rest of the cloth will please observe that it was practice, not preaching, that enabled him.— Phila, Kronikle- Herald, Tue American Bible Society has distributed 36,226 copies of the Scriptures in Texas dur- ing the last twelve months. The Texaris love the Bible. They use it for gun-wads.—JVorris- town Herald, AN insurance agent is a good deal of a bore» but he isn’t a gimlet to the man who is sure that your mother and his father were grandmothers to each other—or some such relationship.— New Haven Register. WHEN a young married man meets his mo- ther-in-law in Zululand, she dodges behind a bush and he turns his head, according to the Herald, How would it do to introduce the custom here?—W. ¥. Express. Wuen you pick up an old rusty pistol that is not loaded, if you have the least doubt about the propriety of committing suicide at once, always point the muzzle at some one else when you pull the trigger.—Keokuk Constitution, Tue Prince of Wales owes something like $3,000,000, but, if everything goes well, his sons will reduce the debt considerably. ‘They are now getting 3734 cents per day for their services in the navy.— Bangor Commercial. A LITTLE Waterloo Svnday-school miss was asked by her teacher, ‘‘ What must people do in ordcr to go to heaven?” “ Die, I suppose,”” replied the little one. The teacher did not question her any further,—San Francisco News- ler, A MAN stopped to scratch his back against the sharp angle of a corner store, in Boston, the other day, and the people knew at once that the Duke of Argyle had arrived. They Argylless folks at the Hub.— Cincinnati Sat- urday Night. An English resident of San Francisco ex- cused himself for keeping his store open on the glorious Fourth by remarking to a patriot who was remonstrating with him: “Oh, d—nit, ye know, I did not have to wait for the fourth of any beastly month to get my independence, ye know. Never was a slave, in fact, or any- thing of that sort, ye know. Pleasant day, though, isn’t it?”"—San Francisco News-Letter. THE GRADUATION ESSAY, A seminary graduate Was Miss Samantha Brown— The wisest, wittiest, prettiest girl In all our lovely town. Her graduation essay was «The finest ever read In East or West, or North or South, Or anywhere,” ’tis said. Her dress was white pekay en train, And built with fairy skill— ‘Twas tucked and pleated, gored and trimmed With many a flounce a frill; The overdress was baby blue, Enwrought with laces fine— Oh, all the women folks declared The essay was divine! The basque was cut en Parisienne, With pipings all of silk. The corsage was entwined with strings Of velvet pale as milk; The waist was cut décolletté, And showed a comely form— That essay wrought the men folks up And took them all by storm, Samantha's father paid a mint Of gold for that pekay— He paid it, too, without a groan, And busted up next day. Long life, we say, to that pekay And to Samantha Brown— The essay is forgot, we wot, By all within our town. —St, Louis Times-Journal, WHEN you see a young man with a wild, haggard look negotiating for a rocking-chair and a soap-dish, you can know that his land- lady insists on his replacing the furniture he threw out of the window at the cats the night previous.— Hartford Post, ProwaBLy no young man can actually pro- bably protect a girl from lightning by holding her on his lap in a dimly lighted parlor, but more than fifty Stillwater boys tried it last Sun- cay night, and the girls seemed to feel just as safe, too.—Stilwater Lumb:rman, “Ir is not all of death to die,” sang the poet. He was right. The greatest part of death— about ninety-eight out of a possible hundred—is to leave your estate in such shape that your children will get nearly as much of it as the lawyers.— Buffalo Sunday News, WHENEVER a survivor of the “ famous six hundred ” dies, two new recruits come to take his place. It is no wonder the Russian bullets were powerless to exterminate that bold bri- gade, since the ruthless hand of Time is denied a victim in its ranks.— Zurners Falls Reporter, SEVENTEEN persons were poisoned by drink- ing lemonade at a picnic at Lanesboro, Minn., the other day. Some scoundrels must have put some lemons and sugar in it. In making pic- nic lemonade care should be taken to have it composed of only two ingredients—water and a bucket.—orristown Herald, Sar an innocent and impecunious young man jestingly to a brace of young ladies chat- ting in front of an ice-cream parlor last even- ing: “Have you partaken of your evening rations of ice-cream?” “Thank you; we ac- cept your invitation with pleasure,” smilingly, sweetly replied they. The young man will not wear his watch until next pay-day permits him to redeem it, and there is one thing certain, he will never jest on the subject of ice-cream again; not if he knows.it he won't.— Hartford Evg. Post,