Puck — April 16, 1879 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

This is Lulu of Chiselhurst, Filled with a noble battle-thirst. One night, in spite of guard and wrap, ‘The Zulus steal the little Nap. And now, while sleeping in the dew Two brawny Scotchmen rescue Lu, Now, at the Cape arriving, he Swills the native Port quite free, 2 aaa But he is saved from being hashed By having the King’s daughter mashed. Now he brings back across the water Quenched thirst and Cetewayo's daughter. Aa And when at night-time sleeps the lad, They wrap bim in a Highland plaid. And duly wed and settled down, He is tattooed a nice rich brown, And now, divoreéd from his bride, He sits in state Mama beside, And holds at Chiselhurst a“ Court of France,” Tattooed, to keep him, as it were, in countenance. DAMME, IT’s ‘OO BAD. Savanna, April 8th, '79. “ What's too bad ?”” Why, the infernal consequences. You can’t look at a man but it's “ Hardly Ever.” You can’t speak to a party without evoking a wiciched pun afore you know it on “ Pina- fore.” Everybody whistles it. The darkies sing it. ‘The dogs howl it. Again with the gallant Corcoran I exclaim, “Damme, it’s fo bad.” Where do Gilbert and Sullivan expect to die when they go to? Can't Congress do anything? mage tackle it ? It’s an outrageous, fanfaronading burlesque on our limited stuck of patience. Can you wonder that men shoot each other recklessly when you learn that ¢iree “ Pinafore” companies are loose in the Southern States? Are we a nation or are we to rise to in-dig- nation? Tantalus had a “soft job,” comparatively. Job's condition was a sweet unconsciousness in contrast. ‘What fools these mortals be.” Puck, you are a brick—but don't patronize these “Pinafore " jokers. Lastly, Damme, it’s too demnition bad. Lem. E, C. Won't Tal- FIAT WISD 0M, FROM OTTAWA, KANSAS, A MAN learning to play the cornet interests all the neighbors—in a horn. * OLD Noah ought to have been a good poker player, Held pairs amazingly. Tue spring-poetry machine should be re- versed. Present style of verse too old. | No Matter how much activity there may be about a bayk, it’s a loan-some institution. To be virtuous may be to be happy, but Happiness spreads her wings when a double- barreled watering-cart scores a bull’s-eye on one's new spring trousers. ‘Tue telegraph is yet an infant.— Boston Post. But a very wiry one.—Fhi/a, Bulletin, And well posted.— Free Press. And well conducted. -- Chicago Herald.—All because its progenitor was always in-so- A WESTERN paper wants to know “ where the next world’s fair will be held?” I don’t pro- fess to know much about the next world, but in these diggings Sunday night is the favorite time fur holding this world’s fair. Extts M. Crark. Scenz—a street corner, A benevolent gentleman of mature age putting questions to a bright eyed little news- boy. Benevotent Gent.—And so you're eight years oli and go to school? Good boy. And what do you learn there? Newsvoy.—lI learns 'ritin’ and 'rithmetic and jogerphy. BenevoLent Gent.—That’s good, Now, let us see what you know in geography and I'll buy a paper of you. Where's Washington? Newspoy.—Washingtua? Why, up in Union Square. . Benevotent Gent.—Well, well, that’s so. On hor eback I suppose you mean, Now, where's London? Newspoy,— Lundun? Bowery. Benevotent Gent.—Very good, indeed, my little fellow. Here's two cents. You may keep the paper. Only be sure to continue faithfully in the paths of learning, and you will unquestionably achieve fame and fortune, Newspoy.—Yes, sir, Thankee. That's up in the Hore deferred maketh the heart sick, but when, in the fullness of time and plenitude of unripe fruit, hope becomes a reality, how about the stomach? comicbooks.com