Puck — April 2, 1879 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

~~” THE NEWER NECTAR. Love's 5 CENT INSPIRATION. Since wine which in the ancient days Gave to the poets inspiration, And fired them with each deep libation Till all the muses sang their lays, Has now become so vile or dear ‘That rhymers who have scanty purses Without its aid must make their verses— I'll scorn it’s help and stick to beer. ‘Then quickly pour the flowing stream, ‘And fill the mug with foaming plenty, And as I quaff some ten or twenty I will assay the glowing theme; First let me choose the charming maid Whose beauty with each brimming bumper Will to my mind seem sweeter, plumper, And lovelier still each grace displayed— ‘Tis done! fair Flora’s heavenly eye Darts to my heart, love's vivid lightning, I feel my bosom’s flame is brightening, The winged God laughs loud on high; The lovely nymph with guileless mirth, Her rosy lips just parting slightly Through which her teeth arc gleaming brightly, Transports me from the realms of earth, Oh Venus! Queen of Love and Heaven, The mistress of the fate of lovers Who o’er them in compassion hovers, Grant what I ask may now be given; And if it will not shame thy shrine ‘That I should drink a vulgar potion To feed the flame of my devotion, Let it be beer instead of wine. Choose from thy realms a lovely bower, Filled with the fragrance of the roses, Where nature's every charm reposes, Where all who enter feel thy power; Oh, thither bring my lovely Flora, Incline her soul to love's embraces And heighten all her moving graces To fire the heart of her adorer. Then bid Apollo strike the lyre, And let the strain be soft and tender That each sweet note which he may render May fan the flame of fond desire. Let Bacchus bring the foaming beer And keep the potion still a flowing, The fervent fire still warm and glowing Till dusky evening doth appear. Jounsontus. FITZNOODLE IN AMERICA. LXXXII, SOME RECEPTIONS. Ya-as, although Lent is still in pwo- cess of pwogwes- sion, some aw we- ceptions and aw othah entertain- ments are given durwing this per- wiod by Pwesbyter- wians and_indivi- duals who pwofess othah weligions, and even by some Church of England people he-ah who are not verwy stwict in observing all the wules and wegulations of the season—indeed aw, don’t observe them at Cahnt pwecisely say that I’m painfully we- ligious myself, but it does aw go a little against my gwain to allow myself to be entertained PUCK. 53 THE BOLD EDITOR OF THE PERIOD. durwing Lent. Suppose it is the force of as- sociation, ye know. My aw people, ye see, faw severwal hundwed ye-ahs have had wespect faw these mattahs, and a fellaw naturwally falls into their aw way of weasoning. Howevah, Miss Marguerwite bawed me to— aw not bawed, that would be a cwuel expwes- sion—but was desirwous of my accompanying her to some of these places, and as I thought it wouldn't be exactly the wight thing to we- fuse, I went. You see, Miss Marguerwite has made a twifling impwession on me, and it is not verwy easy to wun contwarwy to her wishes. ‘There are some peculiarwities about wecep- tions and at-homes he-ah that I shall take the twouble to wefer to, especially with wegard to a large pwoportion of the fellaws and othah cweatures one meets at such gatherwings. Miss Marguerwite and I enter the woom, which iscwowded with varwious descwiptions of people talking to one anothah. No verwy gweat pweparwations appeah to be made fawour weception—and aw I suppose the othah visitahs are included—the gweat object appearwing to be to get as extensive a cwush as possible, with- out wegard to the bweeding of the cwushers. Nevah care faw wefweshments, ye know, to an extweme degwee, but, hang it, if there’s anything at all, a fellaw likes to see something | wathah maw substantial and swongar than aw | inferwiah clarwet and watah, wejoicing in the | name of p-p-punch—and ice-cweam. Aw don’t want champagne or even a wegulah suppah, but a glass of be-ah, or sherwy, or bwandy and watah with a sandwich would be d-d-doosidly maw satisfactorwy, and would not, I should think, wuin people with a moderwate amount of gweenbacks, nor cost so much as the infer- wiah clarwet. Miss Marguerwite spoke to a considerwable numbah of her fwiends, and intwoduced me to the hostess, to whom I addwessed a few we- marks. “Aw—who is that pwetty girl with the wed wibbons wound her dwess?”” “T don’t know, weally,” weplied the lady of the house. “Aw, perwhaps you can tell me the name of that individual who endeavored to wecite some poetwy.” “Nevah saw him befaw. I suppose he came as an escort.” Some answers to othah questions were much of the same charwactah, and, by Jove, it is odd, yer know—and Jack says so too—that people should have fellaws of both sexes in their dwawing-rooms who have arwived there in an indirwect and pwomiscuous mannah thwough people who are not pwopah fwiends of the family—so that people nevah weally know what descwiption of guest they have in their houses, Miss Marguerwite says its a wepublican fashion for girls to ask fellaws to escort them anywhere and everwywhere. A pwivilege for the girls, but verwy demorwalizing I should imagine aw. AN UNLICENSED POET. CLevELAND, O., March 28th, '79. Editor of Puck: Dear Sir—After long argument, my wife has just convinced me that I am a fool. Iam therefore encouraged to hope that I may be a poet. Isend you my first effusion: There was an Ohio Ide-ah That boomed very loudly last ye-ah, ‘Though backed up by Thurman, ‘Twas busted by Sherman; Which will knock Mr. Thurman's chances for the Presi dency in 1880 all to thunder, I know that this last line don’t run just right, but the one that does don’t do adequate justice to the situation. Yours, Hersig. comicbooks.com