Puck — March 26, 1879 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

~ + P. Sheridan rs. Agnes Jenks + Miss Z, Chandler + Miss G. W, Childs Captain of the Pinafore Ralph Rackstraw = ~~ Dick Deadeye Bill Bobstay W. Belknap | Little Buttercup = - - Scene—On Board U.S. M. Third Term Pinafore. Carrain Ropeson AnD Cxorus. Over the bright blue sea Comes the Third Term President, U.S. G. Wherever he may go Rivers of Bourbon sweetly flow. Shout o’er the bright blue sea For the Third Term President, U.S. G. Sir Utysses Bourson, W. §. G. I am Ulysses Simpson G., Candidate for the Presidencee, Whose praise the whole Dent family chants, And so do their sisters and their cousins and their aunts.” When in the White House I reside, I regard all refreshments “ snide,” Except the burbin, which is what I wants, And likewise my sisters and my cousins and my aunts. When political breezes blow, I generally lie quite low, And seck for the solace which a seltzer grants, Apart from my sisters and my cousins and my aunts, For I hold when half o'er seas— ‘Two or three sheets in the breeze— An amount that any ordinary mortal daunts, And that shocks my sisters and my cousins and my aunts. Cuorus. All the same, we're his sisters and his cousins and his aunts. Littte Burrercup Cuiips, A. M. I'm called Old Mortality, dear Old Mortality, I’m sure I could never tell why! I've obituary verses, and sonnets on hearses, Come, buy of your Childs, A. M., buy! Captain Ropeson, I was the captain of the whole navee— Corus. And a damn bad captain too. Caprain Roseson, You're very, very good, And be it understood, I’m not much worse than you, Crorus. We're very, very good, And be it understood, We couldn't be much worse than you, Captain Roseson, Though a simple seaman bold, I could order sound ships sold, Or make office for a Dent. I was never known to quail At the prospect of a jail— And I never, never stole a cent! Cuorus. What, never? Captain Roseson, No, never! Cuorus. What, never? Captain RosEson. Well, hardly ever! Cuorus, He hardly ever stole a cent! Then give three groans, and more than three, For this bouncing captain of the whole navee. FinaLE—OMNEs, For he is a Jerseyman! And it’s not to Jersey’s credit. For we sail the ocean free, And our saucy ship's a tough one, We think, Ulysses G., ‘This voyage is a rough one, And he himself has said it. Come vote for your U.S.G., sweet little U.S. G., dear little U. S.G. he! A simple tanner, lowly born, < Ulysses Simpson G, 35 PUCK’S PANTHEON. IV. BEN DEADEYE. Wh Providence intended when it made Benjamin Butler will forever remairi a riddle. For Providence has probably ¢ long ago dismissed the subject from its mind and forgotten this special act of creation, as a man consciously forgets the follies of this youth, It has béen conjectured that the basic idea of General Butler was the construction of a modern Apollo; but that the material gave out when it came to finishing the left eye, the result being the optical phe- nomon or—the neat thing in eyes—known to everyone interested in American politics. Yet this is scarcely possible. A bald-headed Apollo would not be quite the correct mythological card. And General Butler is bald-headed, and was undoubtedly born so. So the Apollo theory falls to the ground. Then it has been surmised that the great politician was started as a pirate, and the contractor slipped up on the characteristic expression of ferocity, and, by an accidental twist of the nose, gave the subject a benevolent expression. But then this can not be true, expression, Still, there is an element of truth in both hypotheses. General Butler has in him something of the Apollo and something of the pirate. The pirate part has long been clearly visible to everybody. The Apollo part will appear when Mr. Butler gets ready to put on his angel gar- ments and soar into realms of ineffable bliss, We say advisedly, when he gets ready. called upon to do any soaring. Benjamin Butler was born in 1818, in Deerfield, Mass. This was a * good thing for Benjamin; but it was rough on Deerfield. That lovely village of the plain has not since figured in historic annals, The evo- lution of Benjamin seems to have exhausted its vitality. Otherwise, Deerfield is respectable. General Benjamin Butler is the Dick Deadeye of American politics. And why? Let us critically examine the characteristics common to the creation of Messrs. Gilbert and Sullivan and the creation of an absent-minded first cause. General Butler is unquestionably ‘unpleasant to look at.” ‘The bereaved widow, the bereft orphan, the jilted lover, the starving tramp, can find but small consolation for their individual woes in the contemplation of a pot-bellied politician with an eye seven or eight degrees to windward of true north, ‘There is nothing soothing—nothing tender and sympathetic about him. He does not resemble one of Chopin's nocturnes. Fle reminds you more definitely of an aria from Tannhauser, played backwards. On the whole, he is not agreeable to the retina. ‘Then, furthermore: Dick 'Deadeye is specifically described as “ triangular.” Now, you can’t call Butler square. And on this point we need not enlarge. 'Twere as well, perhaps, to pass to the next. His name “is agin him.” It is, in some subtle, undefined way, associated with spoons. Butler—spoons—see ?. And then again, and finally, he ‘‘ain’t as bad as he seems.” No, he is not. He seems, to the popular eye, to the apprehension of honest people of average intelligence, a disreputable old scalawag, a demagogue who has willfully prostituted the intelligence that might have made hima statesman; a fellow of mean tricks and devices; a blatant bully and a noisy nuisance. But he isn’t. No! Let us adhere to the dicta of the religion fashionable at the present day. Let us admit that General Benjamin Butler has a soul to be saved. That there dwells in him a spark of the divine fire—a spark unavailable at present, but “ar, Let us believe that if, on his deathbed, if he will but roll up his eyes to the ceiling and mortgage his moribund spirit to the church militant, he will die in the sweet savor of sanctity, whitewashed of all his mortal faults and follies. That is the gospel of the day. i But pagan Greece would have very promptly dosed him with hemlock, and let him take his chances of squaring his life’s record with the moral code of the Immortals. General Butler has not a benevolent Possibly he will not be SPECIAL NOTIC ‘Tue man who has President been afore Puck serves up to-day 4 la Pinafore. But from this date he'll hold it a sin, And he'll go any other vile sinner for, Who works any further this Pinafore, For hereafter the theme is called in, comicbooks.com