Puck — March 26, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. No. 13 Nortu Witiam Street, Naw York. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terme To Sunsci iH. C. BUNNER. SPECIAL NOTICES. Pucx 1s of Sale in London, at the News Agen: HENRY F. GILLIG & CO., 449, Strand, Cha ‘& ROGERS) ce Bou. verle Street, Fleet Street, and in Paris on file at the ‘* Herald” Office, 49 Avenue de Opera. We cannot undertake to return rejected communications, and tothis rule we can make n0 exception. Remittances by Money Order, etc., are to be addteeed to Kurvitn & Scnrwanzuart ‘GG Our advertising friends are only required to pay bills presented on the billheads of Pucw, with our stamp UtrmEsseD Erereon. KEPPLER & SCHWARZMANN. ¢ CONTENTS. How to Govern a City. That Blue Ribbon, Simon's Serenade (poem)—illus. | Smiley's Investment. Puck's History op Orertaxo. {There isn’t any History of Uireland this week, owing to non-arrival of cuts. Let the tated reader wait till next rercl ecoesday, Fero (poem). K. Munkittnck, The Ruling Passion. * Axswans ror THE Axxious, Fiat Wisdom—E. M. Clark. Rhymes of the Day. ‘ton, Blcod and Thunder. Puck's EXCMAnces. ‘The Reception of Ulysses. ve Receptios ses. Poce's Parmuaox. IV. Be ‘That Tramp (poem)—A, Lot. News from the Court—of Canada| McCarty to the Réscue, Puck's Pawrizos.— IV. Ben Deadeye—illus. An Incident (poem)—Leo Cur- ranEvans. ‘The Champion Clubbist. Frrznoopee I AMERICA, OYEZ, OYEZ, OYEZ! Gentle reader, prithee, list! Gentle reader, we've important information, which we will communicate without further preface. Puc (we believe you are acquainted with the journal we refer to) will hereafter be paged consecutively through- ‘out the year, thus making everything convenient for the index which will be published at the close ot the current volume, Next, He is going to remove, before March 30th, to new and, of course, commodious quarters at Nos, 21 & 23 WARREN STREET. And lastly, he is going to publish an » Almanac for 1880, which is going to be ° A Roarer. HOW TO GOVERN A CITY. ip UCK does not wish to spread himself on local politics, which even in a consider- able city, such as New York claims to be, cannot interest his millions of readers through- out the union; but two exciting little incidents of last week call for some notice. \ ‘The manner in which County Clerk Thomp- son took possession of his office, to the exclusion of the unfortunate Mr. Gumbleton, was unique. It was not so dignified as quietly walking in, and although the number. of wrongs that go to make_a right has not yet been satisfactorily established, still Mr. Tammany Gumbleton and his kidney did so many things that querulous citizens objected to, that perhaps a little heroic homeopathic treatment was necessary. Besides the children of the Tammany tribe have never been accused of giving the fullest amount of attention to the mandates of Judges, Governors, etc., when they weren't their own men. Mayor Cooper’s part in the Police Commis- sioner’s Extravaganza was played in a manner entirely to Puck's satisfaction. Counsel are all very well in their way, for murderers for instance; but they are very apt to mix things awkwardly, The Mayor likes the straight ar- ticle. The Police Commissioners have evi- dently been overworked; they need perfect rest, say for twenty-five years. ? Baby Baby Baby Old coon, to thee Queen of my If there was much I’m very glad WS SERBNADE. LD coon, to thee I'll sing! Sweet regent of ny bosom: Why do my joys take wing? Why do I get them but to lose 'em? I have lived hitherto ‘Comparatively free from the breath of slander, Free, until I encountered you, In rosy paths of dalliance to meander. But now, my lyre in sable draped, I sadly sing thy charms supernal; And chant the chance by which I ’scaped Being a putative paternal! Ah, Iet me change my note, And from my venerable throat Shake forth a newer trill toward highest heaven to float: It's been hinted I’m thy sire— mine, Baby mine! ‘To which name I don't aspire, mine, Baby mine. And there is’a certain charm In reflecting, safe from harm, ‘That you were a false alarm, mine, Baby mine. I'l sing! cardiac system: more of this sért of thing, L-missed ’em. Pucksrings. Tuus is a very extra-ornery session of Con- gress. ‘Tue religious views of our pauper millionaire are decidedly Calvinistic. Lire is a ‘‘Mr."y to a sober man, anda “¢mizzery to a drunkard. Wuen the British reinforcements arrive, somebody will be Cettewayo back. Our: washerwoman is a ‘sweet singe-r’— she never fails to scorch our best cambric handkerchiefs, Does the devout Catholic, who is graciously permitted to kiss the Pope’s toe, experience “extreme unction”? “Ain't we having a gorge-us time?” said the tramp to his mate, as he gnawed at his half of the “ boned" turkey. Tue Democrats now have a majority in the Senate. Conkling’s ambrosial locks are soon likely to get out of curl. Fiatiery speaks to us through a telephone, and our vanity has rigged up a microphone attachment at the near end of the line. Ir the late pedestrian tournament had been a bloody Bowery tragedy, it ‘could not have brought down the gallery more effectually. Hiatyar, Leveller, and many other noted Kentucky. thoroughbreds, have “gone to grass.” “Crack” horses are always liable to break down. It's in the nature of things. ° ‘THe Ottawa Government clerks get drunk at at Low-necked Lorne’s balls. Refinement is sadly needed at this one-horse Court, for there is Little/on there at present. We flatter ourselves we are extremely liberal when we say a thousand dollars’ worth of good of a man after his death, to whom, living, we would not have loaned a “ V." Crry Poritica, Conunprum.—What punish: ment, in Mr. Gumbleton’s opinion, ought County Clerk Thompson to receive? The bust-in-ado. He died without a struggle. Mayor Haroun at Rascuip Cooper, after his nightly visits to the dens of iniquity, will now order the corrupt Palsce Cadis to be bow- strung, and write an appendix to the “Arabian Nights.”” “A Row’eLt probably occur here soon,” lisped Puck, as he limped from Gilmore’s Gar- den, the other day, when the roughs began hissing the little Englishman.—Derrick. He didn’t say Ennis such thing to e’er a man. “How sublimely ethereal!” murmured Miss de Flukey, as she leaned over the rail of the fine steamer that plies between Venice and Messina, and watched the play of the moon- beams on the waves. ‘How just too tremend- ously magnificent! I call this simply joy on a Lloyd!” : A Brooktyn young man boasts that he has kissed his girl 450 times in six hours and three laps, and thinks he has won the match.— Com. Ady, Wonderful generosity of Nature! A woman with three laps should have been given | a free seat in Plymouth Church. She could have pastor time pleasantly. wr NOTICE. « No. 9 (issue of May 7, 1877), No. 14 (issue of June 14, 1877), and No, 26 (issue of Septenber 5, 1877) of Pucu will be bought at this office, 13 N. William St., at 25 cents per copy; also No. 47 (issue of January 30, 1878), Nu. 53 (issue of March 13, 1878), and No, 57 assue of April 10, 1878) at 10 cents per copy. comicbooks.com