Puck — March 5, 1879 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. 5 U. S. SENATE—Fex. 22d, 1879. Scene—Actual, 7 Lia EEE weeee: Z DIALOGUE “Shall we, sir, r and brothers ?—THe Cuair:—“‘Never.” PROBABLE, ecognize these copper colored lepers as men CIVIL SERVICE COMPETITIVE EXAMINATION. g HE Hayes Civil Service Reform has be- gun by requiring applicants for $1200 a <* year positions in the Custom House to undergo a competitive examination on various subjects. Puck always distances his contemporaries in enterprise, and this instance is no exception to the rule, as he is, through the influence of his friends in the Cabinet, enabled to lay be- fore his readers the advance sheets of the ex- amination papers. ‘They are as follows: ELEMENTS OF ACCOUNTS AND BOOK-KEEPING. 1, Define the terms Addition, Division and Silence. 2. What is the most approved method of re- ceiving a ten-dollar bill without being seen by a deputy collector? 3. By what well-known rule would you dis- criminate in passing the last of a pile of entries, first? 4. Are you in the habit of paying your drinks, or does the bar-keeper account by single or double entry? 5. What is your candid opinion of a Custom House broker or merchant, who doesn’t fee you to put his work through? cash for eep your HISTORY. 1. Give a short account of all the people you ever heard of, who have lost their heads. 2, Who was George Washington, and did he ever tell a lie? : 3. Was Smith First Lord of the Admiralty under Polk’s administration? 4. Trace the connection between the Loco- focos and our present political sewerage system. 5. By historical tradition, what position in the Custom House would you choose if you could appoint yourself ? GEOGRAPHY. 1, Where is Wall Street, and give its bound- 2. Where does the Atlantic Ocean take its rise? 3. Which is the nearest route from the Custom House to Delmonico’s? 4. Name and locate the principal Gin Mills that you patronize when you can get anybody to stand the drinks. ENGLISH GRAMMAR, 1. Can you swear? If so, give a list of your favorite oaths and the circumstances under which you use them, ‘ 2. Which is the more elegant mode of ex- pression, ‘‘ How much is this job worth?” or “Is this job worth $25 ?” 3. Is it more correct to say “what will you take to drink?" than “ what will you have to drink?” APPRAISIOLOGY. 1. Specify the differences between sweet po- tatoes, Valenciennes lace, corrosive sublimate, crépe de Chine, fine-tooth éombs, Worcester- shire sauce, railroad iron, papier maché, en- caustic tiles, Amati violins and Yarmouth bloat- ers. 2. How much did the above cost per pound on the rst April, 1779, and what is their present market price, on the Timbuctoo Produce Ex- change? 3. Why is it necessary to drink more wine than vinegar in fixing the respective values of these fluids ? ARITHMETIC, 1. What is the meaning of “2 per cent. of your salary for political party purposes”? 2. Do you think you could hold your position if you didn’t pay it? 3. Would you pay 5 per cent. of your salary to keep the Republican party in power? 4. How many cents are there in a trade dollar? 5. Explain in a clear and concise manner the special peculiarities of ex Secretary Robe- son's new method of reckoning, and why in his case it proved so signally successful, Ex-President Grant. —Ex- Secretary Robe- ‘cretary Belknap, Colonel Babcock, Schuyler Colfax and Dennis Kearney. A MELOMANIAC PUNSTER. New York, Marcu 2d, 1879. To the Editor of Puck—Sir: A friend writes: I Gerster better not Hauk Kellogg around any more amongst the crit- ics, Her star Roze to its zenith years ago and has not set yet. It’s my opinion she will never Mari-o! never. You can make a Marc-o’ that. She takes little stock in the verb Aimée. Nor does she Cary snap for all the Litta criti- cisms in the papers, for she is Lucca in all her efforts. She dines lightly before the opera, but never forgets her Patti or her Sontag. If her father was an Abbott, no one knew it. All Prima Donnas are gifted with many sterling ualities. Some have naturally fine voices. thers gain Thursby hard study. I went up to Albani last week to see the Bishop about a Granger, who used to Hayes around with me when I was a youth. We had a pleasant chat and when I Roze to go he asked me to Adelina so to his letter to Puck, the funniest and best illustrated paper in the country. aries? THE MISTAKE MADE BY SEVERAL WOULD-BE PRESIDENTS. comicbooks.com