Puck — April 3, 1878 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ther then. We had no friends. We lived a ife apart from other children. You were my Paul, and I was your Virginia, Ennest (Acartlessly). Oh, yes. I remember. A romance in duo- decimo—idylls, pastorals, all that sort of thing. But you get over these affairs as you grow older. The world gives you something else to think about. Vircinia (aside). He's getting positively outrageous, now. ‘Aloud, with @ sudden change of tone) Stay, nest; it is better that we should stop here. Let us ge no further—we have perhaps gone too far already. I have been too reckless, 1 should not have lent myself to this comedy. We should not play with love in this foolish fashion. We may have reason to repent of it some day. ERNEsT. (Privately) What's all this? Virainta (nervously). Do you know—it is not impossible that— without knowing it —that my heart should cease to be insensible—my laughter of this morning should change to tears before the evening? Even now, it seems to me, I tremble at the thought of this strange game we are playing. What if in this jest I should betray myself— what if—I learned to Jove you? (Aside) We'll see this time! Ernest (on his feet). What! Is it true? You might—you might —love me? Yes, yes—for / love you. Cousin —Virginia—my own! Don’t check this im- pulse of your heart—it speaks the truth. Why should we not love? Why should you not give me your heart, as you have taught me to give ou— Virinia (with a peal of laughter). One dollar! Ernest (taken aback). One dollar? Virginia! VirGINiA, Yes—a counter—a forfeit—caught this time! Ernest (solemnly rescating himself). *Twasn’t fair. Why not? VirGINIA. Ernest, Because I wasn’t caught. Vircinia, You weren’t...... Ernest. No. Vircinia. Then why did you respond in that way ? Ernest. Well, my dear, the circumstances —after what you had said, you know—politeness yequired— 1 couldn't do less. Vircinia. Do you mean to say that I didn’: deceive you? I wasn’t caught. Ernest. Not in the least. Vircinta (warmly). You did not believe, when I spoke to you just now, that I was beginning to feel for youa tender sentiment? Ernest (with shameless mendacity). I did not believe it. VirGinia (growing excited). Explain yourself, sir! You were not serious then, when you answered me? Ernest. 1 was jesting—as you were. Vircinia (exploding). And you dared! You had the audacity! Ah, now I believe you have been jesting from the first—this love you have always expressed—it was a jest too! Ernest (/anguidly). You don’t think that. ee) Virorta, Ido! Ah, it is a good lesson to me. That is the way a woman is deceived. What fools we are! It was just the same air, the same accent, the same words, the same look of adoration. "was no better. done when you meant it—but you never meant it. If youcan imitate love so well, you can never have felt it. I have un- masked you. We will settle this matter. You don’t love me? (Marching up and down the room) We'll see! What, you don’t answer me? No—you can’t! Be silent—it is the best thing youcan do. Oh, if I spoke my mind—you— you—impostor! I can’t restrain myself! I’m going—and I'll never—never—see you again! And she departs like a small feminine hurricane, Yet the bang of the door seems to cover something like a sob, ‘The wretched impostor sits stil!, as a man conscious of his own iniquity. But as he meditates a puzzled look begins to overspread his features. With less depression in bis tone than becomes the situation, he murmurs to himself: Well, I'll be damned. This masterpiece of eloquence he repeats three several times and then adds: I'll swear she was going to cry. The striking of a clock, and the simultaneous opening of the door disturb his profane revery. Ms. BERKELEY appears on the threshold. She may have been going to cry;" but she certainly shows no signs of having yielded to the impulse. She is bright, laughing, and triumphant. ‘VirGinia, Ernest, dinner! The game is over! You remember the agreement. I exact strict ad- herence to the terms therein expressed. From this time until my departure, you are not to whisper one word of love to me. ERNEST. Unless you ask me to. Vircinta (laughing). Unless I ask you to—that was agreed. Ernest (calmly). And you will also be so kind as to remember that I still retain nine counters, and that each one of them represents a—kiss. VIRGINIA (with icy resignation). I suppose I must submit. ERNEST. No! VirGINIA, What? ERNEST. No. No doubt it would be very delightful to press my lips to your cheek if but one look invited me—but thus—no! Your calmness speaks without disguise. ‘The charm is de- stroyed—you know yourself, the contact of lips is nothing—it is the emotion, the soul of the kiss, that 1 seek. Vircinia. Excuse me, sir. Iadmit, you may be doing violence to your feelings in kissing me; but 1 insist—I have my reasons. At this Ishall be finally freed from your importun’ You shall fulfill your part of the bargain. Come, sir, treaties are made for the benefit of the victor. If you are generous—you will kiss me. Ernest (gravely). Very well—I will obey, since honor compels me. (Going toward her) You are blushing. ‘Vircinia, No, I’m not. ERNEST. Yes, you are, I say. Vircinia (impatiently). No, sir! No. Iam ready. ‘The victim turns a pink check to the recalcitrant con- queror, who exacts his tribute with hesitating reluctance. VincINIA grows very white, and her cousin frowns darkly, like a captive pirate on the point of execution. ERweEst. This is cruel. But it must be done—and one gets accustomed to everything. Eight more, Vircinia, No—no—I beg of you! Ernest. Eight kisses, if you please. 9 Vircinia. But just now you didn’t care about them at all. ERNEST. But just now you cared about them a great deal. Viroinia. But then—since—O, Ernest—please don’t insist. Ernest. Why not? Is it that—you love me? Vircinia. No—not a bit. What is troubling me is— are—those eight counters. ERnEsT. Those eight counters? ‘Viroinia. Yes, those eight—counters, ERNEST. You don't like the gross amount of kissing they represent ? ‘Virainta. No. ERNEST, Well. There's a way to stop all that kind of thing. Viroinia, What is it? ERNEST, Marry! 'Twon’t trouble you any more after that. Vircinia (looking down). Isn't there any other way ? EST. Ern: None that I know of. Virginia, Oh, dear! (A pause.) ERNEST. Come, Virginia, decide. Vircinia, Decide—what ? y Ernest. Whether you'll marry me or not. Vircinia. Who was talking about marrying ? Ernest (with business-like precision). I was: and you were, too. Vircinia, Well, don’t talk any more—at least not to- day—to-morrow. ERnestT. And what do you wish me to do to-morrow? VirGINIA, Oh, you can—you can ask any questious you want to. And (with a sudden smile) I can answer them. % Ernest. I haven't any questions to ask. Vircinia, You haven't? ERneEst. No. Virginia, we set out to play “ Courtship with Variations,” and play it we shall. It may be a shade frivolous, a little foolish, our comedy; but it is I who have the dangerous réle—that of the ingénue. You are the lover —I am the true and tender woman. Make your proposal. Vircinia (with startling suddenness), Iwill! (Gravely) Sir! recognizing in you the possessor of many excellent qualities, regarding comicbooks.com