Puck — February 13, 1878 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

which led to the clearing. My presentiment had not misled me. ‘There he lay, dead on the scene of the duel, with a blood-stained razor by his side! I fell on my knees by the corpse; I took his cold hand in mine; and I thanked God that I had forgiven him in the first days of my recovery. I was still kneeling, when I felt myself seized from behind. I struggled to my feet, and con- fronted the gamekeeper. He had noticed my hurry in entering the wood; his suspicions had been aroused, and he and the lad had followed me. There was blood on my clothes, there was horror in my face. Appearances were plainly against me; I had no choice but to ac- company the gamekeeper to the nearest magis- trate. My instructions to my solicitors forbade them to vindicate my innocence by taking any tech- nical legal objections to the action of the ma- gistrate or of the coroner. I insisted on my witnesses being allowed to write, in their own way, what they could truly declare on my be- half, and on the defense being founded upon the materials thus obtained. In the meanwhile I was detained in custody, as a matter of course. With this event the tragedy of the duel reached its culminating point. I was accused of murdering the man who with his own guilty hand had attempted to take my life! BERTHA’S POSTSCRIPT. 1 write these lines after an interval of six months, I am going to do a bold thing— I am going to suppress the narrative of the defense, and advance at once to the results. First result: —1 am Mrs. Lionel Varleigh. Second result:—I am as happy as the day is long. Third sesult:—1 am going to America with my husband, to make his father and mother as happy as I am. If you want to know any more, you must be so good as to wait for my return to England; or you can apply in the interval, if you prefer it, to my aunt, at Nettlegrove Hall. THE END. anges Our navy isa sort of fleeting show.—Acw York Herald. Grant is now driving dull Cairo way.— Worcester Press. Tue question of the hour—What time is it? —Brooklyn Argus. ‘Tue hymn of the Crispins: “A rise, my sole, a rise.”—Boston Globe. “ MisroRTUNES never come singly.” Same way with twins.—Fulton Times, A Lecture Fiexp that no man hasyet taken —Kate Field.— Norristown Herald. We may not possess a castle in Spain, but we have a Cochin China.—Stamford Advocate. Tween is ill, but not dangerously, only one doctor being in attendance.— Cin, Commercial, Creopatra’s needle has reached Gravesend. Talked to death,. probably. — Danie/sonville Sentinel. PUCK. m3} Tue North Carolina coast appears to offer strong inducements to active undertakers.— Phila, Chronicle-Herald. Ou, that it should have gum to this! Two Albany dentists have fallen out and a law-suit impends.— Catskill Recorder. ‘THERE is more than one way to secure re- venge. For instance, an Ohio editor calls her Jail Hamilton.— Unknown Ex. “T po not ask thee for thy hand,” as the child said when gazing earthward o'er its pa- rent’s knee.—S¢, Louis Journal. ‘THE fool seeketh to pluck a fly from a mule’s hind-leg; the wise man. letteth the job out to the lowest bidder.— West Jersey Press. A MAN may never laugh, and still be distin- puted from other animals that never laugh, y the use of hair-dye.— Rome Sentinel. THe managing-editor of a Texas newspaper is expected to do very little writing and a great deal of shooting.— Phila. Kronikle-Herald. Ir is a noteworthy fact that Victor Emanuel did not long survive the poem that Bayard Taylor wrote about him.—Sf. Louis Journal. Saint Patrick's day comes on the 17th of March this year. Guess we've skinned that huckleberry bush in season.—Fortchester Jour- nal, As J. Mapison Wetts is still missing, there are strong grounds for supposing that he has eloped with Eliza Pinkston.— Phila. Kronikle- Herald. Catirornia desires an effective game law— one, for instance, which will define the proper period wherein to shoot Chinamen.--Buffa/o Express. Tue telegraph tariff between France and Germany is four cents a word. Germany gets the most for the money—in bulk.— Cin. Break- fast Table. It takes 2160 bees to fill a pint cup, not- withstanding a single bee takes up so much room in a fellow’s summer trousers leg.— Wor- cester Press. O'Leary, the walkist, used to be a collector in Chicago, and that’s how he happened to find out his legs would do to bet on.—€in. Breakfast Table, A Newsurc goat the other day devoured an entire volume at one sitting. ‘That’s what you might call a regular swallow-tale goat.—. ¥. Com. Advertiser. Atronso is happy. The New York Herald published a diagram of his wedding-day, which has not seen the light since the capture of Kars, —Detroit Free Press. ‘Tue custom of adorning the prows of vessels with a female head or figure is supposed to have originated in a desire to secure good port-rates. —wN. Y. Commercial. A pair of enormous fossil elephant’s jaws have just reached the Smithsonian Institute, and half of Congress is dying with envy at the sight.— Phila. Bulletin. ‘A Putaskt dog has had the mumps. ‘This is a pleasant proof that we are advancing in civi- lization, even though the dog was kept awake nights to bring it about.— Fulton Times. Tue right kind of woman's rites—the mar- riage ceremony.—ttsburgh Commercial, You got that from your mother-in-law, didn’t you? It sounds a little like the old lady.—Courier- Journal. THE twenty-cent pieces should be retired. ‘They often lead a newspaper man to make rash investments under the impression that his capi- tal is one-fourth larger than it really is.— Worcester Press. Institt into a boy’s mind the idea that in heaven a boy does nothing else but cut wood and attend church, and you will have won a signal victery for Harry the Ancient.— Zurner’s Falls Reporter. BEECHER never attended a _horse-race.— Breakfast Table. Well, what of it? Would you kill this excellent man with overwork? Do you insist on his doing everything ?— N.Y. Graphic. IsapeLta Hooker says every woman who is a taxpayer is entitled to vote. Yes, Isabella, and they are also entitled to go out and shovel the snow off of their sidewalks, but they won't do it.—Phila. Kronikle-Herald. We infer that the Marquis of Lorne is not building the kitchen fire this winter, as we read that he presented his wife with a set of diamonds worth $80,000 about the time cold weather set in.— Breakfast Yable. Joe Jerrerson, the actor, says truth, “the blessed truth, is the greatest armor a man ever pat on him.” Didn't know that Joe had ever seen us with our blessed armor on. We wear it all the time.—orristown Herald. Minnie, the colored cadet, has been perse- cuted till he has been compelled to leave West Point. Shame on the snobs and bullies, con- structively white, who are so brave as to attack a comrade a hundred to one.— Graphic. A NEGRO magician gave a show in an Alabama village one dark evening and announced that he was bullet-proof. ‘he next forenoon a coroner's jury rendered a verdict to the effect that he must have been mistaken.— Worcester Press. Mopyeska has won the hearts of all the New York critics, The Zribune is especially enthu- siastic over her. Yet Modjeska was exceedingly popular in California, and many excellent au- thorities say she is really a fine actress.—Bu/- Salo Express. Generat Bevknap is in Washington, is as jolly as ever, wears his coat closely buttoned about his robust body, and strokes his long golden beard.—/. /. Man. There are lots of other generals swelling round Washington quite as much out of place as Belknap.— /hila. Bulletin. An elegantly-dressed lady, of Brooklyn, handed a car-conductor a dime, yesterday, and on being offered a nickel in return, requested him to give her pennies. She was on her way toa fashionable church, and a collection was to be taken for paying off the church-debt.— N. Y. Star, WHEN a man turns a short corner in a big hurry, and makes the discovery somewhat ab- ruptly that another unfortunate is trying to do the same thing in an opposite direction, he al- ways blurts out something about a qualified fool—and he doesn't mean the: other man.— Cincinnati Breakfast Table. Brackets on the wall are handy things. By hitting them you always know wher. you reach the wall, they catch what dust is over- looked by the picture frames dnd centre table, band Sundays you are kept out of trouble nail- ing up those which have tumbled down during the week.— Bridgeport Standard, ‘Tue following correspondence recently passed through a telegraph office: “I lent you one year ago to-night $4.87. If you have not had it "long enough please keep it one year longer.” To this delicate hint the answer was returned: “Had forgotten it, and hoped you had. Let her run another year." —Unknown Ex. comicbooks.com