Puck — November 14, 1877 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

6 PUCK. CHAPTER X. Beautirut Paris to busy London—earth- quaky Lisbon to dykey Amsterdam—Imperial Rome to Stockholm, the Venice of the North, and back again journeyed Horatio—but . he could obtain no introduction to the fleshy bru- nette. i" Driven almost to desperation, he addressed er. In the gardens of the Tuileries he allowed the attraction of gravitation to affect his cane. __ He purposely stumbled on her dress in pick- ing it up. She was a bar-maid of an English railway- station refreshment-room. Might he call? He might. CHAPTER XI. ‘Two more years had elapsed. Angelina felt lappy. ‘The cable message had told her that the pat- tern had been matched. Horatio had now but to carry over enough for a dress, and there would be marriage-bells. Belinda Smuggins, for such was her name, had returned to her bar and lunch-counter at the London, Chatham and Dover Railway Sta- tion. Horatio lingered near her, and often drunk some ‘arf and arf, served in a pewter, from her substantial fingers. “Where did you buy that dress?” he sum- moned up courage to ask. “Tn the Whitechapel Road,” she answered. “Is there any more stuff like it?” and his fate seemed to hang on her reply. Belinda blushed to the roots of her hair as her natural love for truth urged her to say: ‘cTtwasan unredeemed pledge, and I bought it ready-made.” After this, talk not of fabled Tantalus. Horatio swooned away. CHAPTER XII. Tue sun had just tipped the smoky roofs of the modern Babylon with rather tarnished gold. Horatio rose betimes and dressed himself in his best. ‘There were marriage-bells, ‘The Scene was in Bow Church, Cheapside. He led to the altar Belinda Smuggias. She became Mrs. Skimpin. O man! O man! what an abominable de-_ ceiver you are. And what said Angelina? “If he had only told me he couldn’t match the Damassé of Endymion’s moonbeams bayadére brocade, with pea-green stripe, I would have forgiven him, and have taken the will for the deed. She shed tears enough to fill the new reser- voir, which holds 4,000,000,000 gallons. Angelina Anna Maria de Slack Van de Bum- mer entered a convent. ‘Tue Env. > Some of our exchanges are actively dis- seminating the information that ‘the excel- lence of Calcutta prawns is due to the number of corpses which find their way into the Hoogh- ley;" but we are unable to discover whether this is a base attack on the gastronomic tastes of the prawn, or a puff for the Calcutta corpses, or a subtle and well-concealed suggestion that somebody should get up a subscription to in- duce Eli Perkins to go’swimming in the Hoogh- ley. Perhaps our doubt on this point is in some measure referable to the fact that we do not know positively whether a prawn is a fish, or a bird of the cockatoo variety, or an instrument of warfare. PUCK’S HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES. CHAPTER XV. HARRISON RETIRES PERMANENTLY—TYLER TRIES HIS HAND AT THE VETO—MAINE GETS ITS NAME UP—A RuHopE ISLAND STORM IN A TEA- cup—TEXAS WANTS TO CHIP IN— MEXICO ON THE WAR PATH. Ir isn't every man who can say he’s been President of the United States for a month— but Harrison was one of those who could. He tried the business for just thirty days, and it killed him. It agrees better with some people than others. Vice-President Tyler took the Presidential chair in his stead. Now, when things are depressed—it's rather a good thing for Congress to endeavor to make them better. This benevolent object now a days finds vent in propositions for subsidies for railways leading from nowhere to nowhere, in Tyler’s time @bngress passed a bill to allow everybody to burst up with impunity, and to establish a national bank. ‘Tylér had heard that there was something in existence called a veto. He resolved to ex- periment with it. He found it worked to a charm. It made his cabinet resign except Dan Webster, who stuck to his post as secretary of state ina manner worthy of Carl Schurz. What effect a veto of Hayes would have on the present cabinet remains to be seen. About this period in our history, the state of Maine occupied a more important share of public notice, than it ever did before, or is ever likely to do again. We hope the Maine people won't be offended, because we have no desire to injure or ruffle such harmless folk. They got very much troubled about their boundary. A Maine man —no Irish pun intended—was often unable to tell if he was a subject of Queen Victoria or the United States. In some instances it was exceedingly awkward. A fellow would go sparking a mile or two from his village, and then he'd be in doubt as to whose territory he was in; and how in the event of marriage, the natural consequence, divorce could be man- aged, as it wasn’t as easy in Canada as here. ‘These doubts exercised the inhabitants con- siderably, for some slept with their heads under British government and their feet in the United States, and if they shifted their position, both governments would claim the right to tax them. What the result would have been had the matter not been settled by Daniel Webster and Lord Ashburton, it is difficult to surmise. One thing is certain, that the muddle has had the effect of weakening the Maine people’s brains to such ‘an extent that they can’t stand liquor, so they lost no time in passing a prohibitory law. Rhode Island, that midget of a state, now got up a miniature rebellion. It was a terrible business, but no one was hurt, and a would-be hero, one Dorr, took up arms. He was at the head of a party, but, as it consisted only of himself, its influence was limited. A Rhode Island lightning-rod or book agent whenever he’s shown the door, which is done sometimes, always grins sardon- ically—he thinks of the Dorr trouble. ‘There is often rivalry among theatrical stars. Texas Jack thought it about time to get his state into the Union, and get ahead of Buffalo Bill. He knocked at the United States door, but they wouldn't have him at first. ‘TEXAS WANTS TO COME IN. But at last he gained his point aud came in, much to the disgust of Mexico, who didn’t like big slices of its territory to be taken away in this manner. ‘There was some more boundary business settled. Oregon came to the front this time, and found out how near she was to British ter- ritory. Cronin’s nose wasn’t as red as it is now, but nevertheless there were many Amer- icans who wanted to go to war with Great Britain, Afterwards Mexican affairs became the engrossing topic. We must now put on our war paint and brush up all our military and campaigning terms in order to present a true picture of the struggle in Mexico. General Taylor commenced operations near Metamoras, but the Mexicans gave a surprise party to Captain Thornton who was at the head of a reconnoitring detachment, and saved nearly all of them the trouble of paying future board bills. First blood for Mexico. Palo Alto appeared to General Arista as a likely location to whip the rash Americans, but he erred in his calculations as did he at Resaca de la Palma, for result was diametrically op- posite to his fondest anticipations. Brownsville in this campaign first made its appearances on the map. f there is one thing more than another that strikes the student with reference to Browns- ville, is the amazing originality of its name. Tae happy combination of English and French is what will establish its fame as one of the great cities of the world. The Brown family takes the name as an honor to itself, but this not prevent the late Major Brown, who in this Mexican war said ‘‘dulce et decorum est pro patria mori!” from taking the compliments to himself. Uncle Sam now got excited and voted men and money for killing, sinking, burning and de- stroying everything belonging to the enemy. All the young men liked the idea, and were very anxious to exhibit their uniforms, and to fight and bleed until further orders. General Taylor attacked Monterey, and took it. It is in New Leon, but had nothing to do with Kelly and Leon, It was about time for refreshments, so eight weeks were allowed for refreshments. In the meantime, both sides went to work to sharpen their cutlasses, and dry their powder. (To be continued.) The Now we have 24-button kid gloves. next will have 240 buttons, and then there'll be no other garment required.