Puck — September 26, 1877 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. GONE. The wind wafts the withering roses To the land where dead loves lie in state; The Summer has fled from her closes, And the swallow flown south with her mate. Yet, as patriots exiled and banished— They return when the winter is not: But one thing for all time has vanished— The hat that was shot. Tuat Horrid Girl” is the name of a new novel just published. We may now look for “That Disgusting Boy,” “That Brutal Baby,” “That Galoot of an Uncle,” “That Rake ofa Great-grandfather.” ‘Tue fact that we can make several very bril- liant puns on the names of Broadwell, the pre- sident, and Swan, the cashier of the bursted Clairmont bank, doesn’t in the slightest allevi- ate the distress of the defrauded depositors. “Not to Lend” is the name of a yawl-boat tied at the wharf at Hartford. Isn’t this sort of “give-away ” for a title? Anp thus did he apostrophize his love: “Oh, Henrietia! Bread-and-butter of hungry child: hood—canvas-back duck of satiated manhood!” But she wonldn’t have him, anyhow. A crusty bachelor says fashions vary so often, that the dear creatures have been already served up in every possible style of dressing—except on toast. SpeNcERPORT, Monroe County, is to have a bank, and so passes away its Arcadian simplicity, for the wily burglar and expert in safe-com- binations has his eye on the institution —while the kleptomaniacal cashier and the conscien- tious director are ready to take unlimited “flyers in Wall street, and invest the deposits in undomesticated feline speculations, PUCK’S PERSONAL INTELLIGENCE. SamuEL TILDEN in Paris, and seems to spend his time principally in visiting the Herald's Bureau and having his name registered. From the fact that they have been seen to- gether in public of late, it is said that Anna Dickinson and Theodore Tilton have become fast friends. We believe, however, that Theo- dore is the only fast one of the two. STANLEY is achieving great renown from hav- ing penetrated the heart of Africa. Why should he? The colored man who proposed to his bride captured her African heart all for him- self, and nobody made any fuss about it. Genera McCLetan has been nominated for the Governorship of New Jersey. ‘There was atime when McClellan aspired to the Presidency of the United States; but having been defeated he wisely seeks honor in a foreign land. “Wuen McManon prepares for a bold stroke of diplomacy he flees into his inmost bower, takes a drop of absinthe, eats a frog’s leg and says “‘Allons enfant de la patrie!”” with fire in his soul and terror in his voice. (Special cor- respondence of Puck.) It is whispered in military circles that George the Count Joannes having grown jealous of Os- man Pasha's glories, is going to be a Pasha himself. He is now deliberate what to pin his medals to, when he is in the battle-field. Sitinc Butt doesn’t feel half so bad over the enmity of Uncle Sam as he does over the fact that he was born without a middle name. UNCLE PETER AND HIS LOUISA. ‘A NEW VERSION OF AN OLD SONG. HERE was an old Rooster in Jersey did dwell, He got very spoony on an uncommon fine young gal Her name it was Luisa, just eightcen years old, And the wicked old Rooster had silver and gold. Singing Ri-tooral, ri-tooral, ri-tooral-li-le, Ri-tooral, ri-tooral, ri-tooral-li-le, i-tooral, ri-tooral-li, tooral-li-le, Ri-tooral, looral-rooral, looral-ri-looral-li-le. Now Peter, this rooster, in Kingston one day He met Miss L’uisa, and thus he did say: “Tho? I'm no longer youthful, for I'm eighty years old, I wish for to marry you; pray, don't think me bold. Singing Ri-tooral, ete. “O Nunky, O Nunky,” L'uisa replied, Tho’ I am rather youthful for an old rooster’s bride — ‘As my heartfelt devotion may lengthen your life, Isee no objection to becoming your wife. Singing Ri-tooral, ete. “Oh, then, dearest L’uisa," the old rooster said, You've made me so happy—to-morrow we'll wed; Let the guests be invited and everything done. For that blessed hour that makes us both one. Singing Ri-tooral, ete. ‘The guests were on hand—of degree low and high And the parson was ready the knot for to tie; But all waited and waited and waited in vain, And youthful L'uisa writhed in anguish and pain, Singing Ri-tooral, etc. For Peter's young daughter was jealous of Lu, So she said: “ No, this marriage, it won't never do.” She decoyed him away, and thus it occurred, ‘The cage was all ready—but where was the bird ? MORAL: Now, you bald-headed sinners of young wives beware, Or else your young daughters will get in your hair, And then, my poor bridegrooms, I know you'll concur, You'll be snatched more bald-headed than ever you were. Saying Tooral-li rooral, etc. Tue Recording Angel is making up his ac- counts, and striking a balance, and the water- melon and the green peach cast glances of en- vious rivalry at each other, as they await the announcement of the scores. (This is the last watermelon paragraph of the season.) Tue last eighteen centuries have done a wonderful deal for the world, but if there is a moment when we sigh for the vigorous religious ohservances of the Thugs, it is when we gaze on the bland face of the imperturable ticket- speculator. Tue Jenkins of the World in a full, true and particular account of that great national event, the Howland-Belmont wedding, stated that the mother of bride looked as young as her daughter, that it was almost impossible to tell the other from which; this is a high, a very high com- pliment to the old lady, and, we have no doubt, it was richly deserved, but wasn’t it just a little rough on the daughter? Our of evil cometh good. So on account of the Clairmont Savings Bank collapse, the cashiers of several other saving institutions have been increasing the assets in the beauti- fully simple manner of counting as cash their. receipted tailors and shoemakers bills for the last ten years, 3 KNEW a man, BLANK FLORIDA. eo i And he came from Maine, ™ And he hadn’t much stamps, But considerable brai ‘And he was going to Florida to plant ‘Orange trees. , I saw from his talk ‘That his ideas were immense Concerning the wealth ‘That would recompense Anybody with a leaning towards Orange culture, Of course I knew ‘That he was on a goose chase, But I didn’t pretend To trouble his case; If he was satisfied that it was a Tonanza—good. I saw that fellow At the steamer, yesterday morn, And with solid wealth He was loaded—in a horn; And he was going back to } Disgusted with oranges. His garments were worn And his look was one of care, And he carried a cane ‘That came from Florida, where He'd been to accumulate a fortune ‘On oranges. And he was down On Florida for a durn fraud, And he was going home On the money he had borr'd From a friend that he met, Who likewise was going to Florida To start a bank account on oranges. Lest, E. C. DRAMATIC NOTES. Ar the close of Miss Morris’s engagement at the Academy, Brooklyn will have a chance to enjoy the society of the coquettish “ Pink Dominos.” “Our Drawinc Roos” company, with Mrs. Knight Astor and Mr. Thomas Whiffen as principal features, are giving entertainments in our principal cities. Mr. Whiffen, the light and airy comedian is a whole show in himself. “ Oxiver Twist,” at the Broadway Theatre, gives us Mr. McKee Rankin as Fagen, and Miss Kittie Blanchard as ancy. Mr. McKee Rankin in the part is not pretty, but he is good; the reverse is the case with Miss Blan- chard. “ Ropinson Crusoe” is going to fade from our sight like a beautiful dream, but the ‘'homp- son troupe will be back in a month or two, therefore let not the young man from the country despair. Ep. Tuorne has got all his brother Charles's mannerisms. But Charles has got the call on him for size. “Brass” was a dead failure in London, Let it de distinctly understood, right here, that Puck never said it was a success in New York. comicbooks.com