Puck — August 1, 1877 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE HONEY-BEE. Cont: here, my son, look on this little bee, ‘The master workman of his humble sphere; A winged focus of wise industry, And worthy teacher for the serf or peer. Of all the life, on land, in sky or sea, ‘The hee—ouch !! catch him! squash him!— Damn the bee! QuirrLe: VaRRow, JONES JUNCTION. aA ay fONES JUNCTION has been heard from once more. ‘That palladium—that wgi- © dium, if a body may so speak—of our national freedom, the Journa/, has come to the front with the following stirring article: “THE PEOPLE'S BURDENS. “Ifthe clarion notes of warning which we, in the fearless discharge of our duty, uttered last fall on our outside pages had been heeded by a people whose ears have waxed gross so that they are hard of hearing, we would not have now to chronicle a state of affairs which, eating like a loathsome gangrene into the very core of civili- zation, has made this country the scorn and scoff of the universe, and has caused the effete old despotisms of Europe to rise in their slime and point the finger of scorn at Columbia. “Not but what there is a historical precedent for the evils we are now enduring. Even asin the earliest days of the world Cain lifted his mur- derous hand, the prototype of William B. Rus- sell, and would unquestionably have employed the same nefarious weapon, which in spite of the doubts and jeers of the unthinking we still assert to have been a Bullock press, had not the clab with which he did the deed come handier, having been invented earlier than the press of our moribund contemporary, though it is an old one and quite inferior to our own, which has all the modern improvements—even so there prevailed in Biblical times a ilar state of corruption to which we would direct the attention of our intelligent and enlightened citizens and tax- payers. “Twenty-three centuries ago, Artaxerxes ap- pointed Nehemiah to be governor over Judea. Nehemiah’s relation of the burdens of taxation in that province correctly delineates the present position of this country. Nehemiah says—(v. 4-)—‘ There were those who said “we have borrowed money (pledge) for the king’s tribute, and that upon our lands and vineyards,” and lo! we bring into bondage our sons and daughters to be servants, and some of our daughters are | brought into bondage already, neither is it in our power to redeem them; for other men have our lands and vineyards.’ Although the con- scientious governor (following our own particu- lar precedent) declined receiving any salary or perquisites of office, and did all that man could do to repair the mischiefs which had accrued, his advent was like ‘the pardon after execu- tion’—too late. And where is he now? “Investigations were instituted, resulting, like our own, in the conviction of the criminals; but instead of punishing them as we do, by banishing them to foreign courts, to lap them- selves in the Capuan luxury of Stockholm and Copenhagen, or to revel in the mad dissipation of Birmingham and Manchester, they hung them, and in lieu of the custom we have had of loading them with increased honors, they loaded them with manacles and consigned them to prison and prison fare. “It took four months of silent preparation to secure proper evidence against the biggest of the ring, but he was convicted, although a scrip- ture character, and after nineteen years of pri- son fare and straw bedding, died. How much sooner he would have died ifloaded with honors, becomes not us to say. “Look at the condition of the country to- day. We know its hardships. ‘Ihe tax-gatherer is alert, but where is our revenue? “An examination of the effect of our pre- sent exhaustive taxation, which first kills pro- duction and then kicks the producer into the streets with the brand of Ishmael, the tramp, upon him, will show that, however the serpent ay change his skin, and whatever he may do with the skuff, the insidious venom of the rep- tile is still there, whether he shows his hissing fangs, or involutes his reeking coils in the pri- vate malice of a William B, Russell, or in the despotic turpitude of a Fraudulent Admistra- tion.” FASHION ABL INTELLIGENC Mr. Ett Perkins will spend the summer at Sazerac. Mr. Brapy intends to pass Sunday at Coney Island. He will probably be accompanied by Miss O'Donoghue. Mrs. Georcianna F. ‘Tran was safely de- livered of a prophecy last week. Both doing as well as can be expected. Mr. Sarr and his charming daughters are at Long Branch. [‘This piece of information was extremely difficult to procure, and has cost us much trouble to verify. It may now be con- fidently relied upon.] ‘I'ne last hop at the Congress Hotel, Saratoga, was an immense success. ‘The ladies in atten- dance numbered over two hundred, and at one time there were as many as five gentlemen in the ball-room—an increase of three over last week, SiGNora Bianca INNOCENTINA Per LA DI Cotoporato is making an extended tour of the States. ‘Ihe Signora is one of the most accom- plished players on the hand-organ which has ever visited this country. Her husband, Signor Giuseppe Fortunato, will remain in town during the summer, owing to press of business. He is in the retail fruit line, and makes a specialty of peanuts. Snerive Fire, of Pittsburg, was killed by the rioters, according to Sunday's dispatches, and came to life again on Tuesday. It is sup- posed that it was the publication of his obitu- ary in two thousand newspapers which raised him from the placid sleep of eternity. Wuat is the difference between Lake Supe- rior and a sailor who slips off a log? Give it up? One is an unsalted sea, and the other—oh, of course you know now—an unseated salt. Inrtection is everything. Whata difference between the tone in which, as he sat at the do- mestic board, and watched his father sailing in for the best ear of corn, he airily remarked to the old gentleman, ‘Come off, will you?” and the tone in which, three minutes after, under the moss-grown roof of the wood-shed, he re- peated that familiar and colloquial phrase. “Oysters unwholesome!” said he, with a contemptuous sniff, ‘I ain't got any patience | with these new-fangled idees. Oysters can’t hurt nobody. Why, 1 give ‘em to my grand- father—old man of ninety, sir—give him a dozen raw oysters—they wasn’t particular fresh, ither—give ‘em to him half an hour before he died—'n' they didn’t do him no harm. — Oys- | ters, sir, is wholesome.” XIX, SARATOGA 1, Ya-as—the Bwanch gwew hor- wibl slow, so that I weally couldn't stand it any longer. So, asa gweat many » fellaws said that Sarwatoga was wa- ther a decent sort of a place to go to, we came to the we- solution to weside there for a few weeks. Sar- watoga, I believe, was once a Woman camp, and is of course derwived fwom “toga,” which everwy fellaw knows was part of the dwess of the ancient W'oman fellaws in the time of W’o- mulus and Wemus and Bwutus and Garwibaldi and other historwical herwoes. We left Long Bwanch for New York, and went on board a wiver-steamer for Sarwatoga. Jack Carnegie said we couldn’t go by wail because there were stwikes, and wailway fellaws wouldn't allow twains to pass because they didn’t get enough wages. ‘This doesn’t appear to me a verwy good weason for fellaws to stop the twains, Why don’t they turn to other twades, and be- come bwokahs or bankers or pwesidents or members of Congwess—all fellaws who get large salarwies? ‘The wiver that we steamed up is quite a jolly-looking stweam, and wesem- bles the Wine without any wuined castles. ‘There is a place called Alburry, where we went ashore and got in an Amerwican dwawing-woom wailway-carwiage—not bad, by Jove. There are casy-chairs, which turn wound and wound like music-stools and are tolerwably comforta- ble. A wailway fellaw walks thwough the twain to look at your ticket, and a negwo fellaw looks after severwal other things in the arwangement —verwy differwent fwom England, yer know. We arwived at Sarwatoga, and went to our wooms at the Gwand Union-Jack Hotel, which only admits Pwotestants. A verwy large bar- wacks Jack called it. We took some bweakfast, and then went on the verwandah and listened to a stwing and bwass band, ‘There were some people walking about —the women _ fairly dwessed. But as I feel bawed and tired of witing, I'll give a descwiption of Sarwatoga FASHION NOTES. Purses are worn much lighter this year than for some seasons past. Srripep stockings do not come as high as last season—in price we mean. AN exquisite summer toilet for the jeunesse doree is shirt-sleeves @ /a turned-up. ‘Trains were discarded for some time by firemen and brakemen—but are again likely to be quite the rage. ‘Tne fashionable walking-cane is the dafon a Ja locust ; it is much affected by officers (police), but is considered by a large number of people an unnecessary and useless extravagance, and not consistent with the simplicity of republican institutions—they say it injures the head. A newarticle for securing the hair has found much favor with our grande dames and aristo- cratic belles. It is called the “ hairpin,” and is made of iron wire, painted black. When the back-hair is being fixed up, the reserve hair- pins for that put must be held in the mouth. No lady ever looks more beautiful and carnest than when in the act of manipulating this alike | simple and useful invention. comicbooks.com