Puck — May 1877 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SPONTANEITY. ,_ J OW I like a thing, spontaneous, >] Something spoken on the spur, (If it is not too extraneous), For I always shall prefer All things witty, bright, or smart, ‘That have not been learned by heart. How I hate a tedious youth, Who will struggle with a truth, Just as though it was a puzzle or a problem. As for me, give me the chap Who is full of fire and snap, And can clutch a dozen notions and can gobble ‘em. When a man goes into training For a grand impressive speech, He is lost beyond regaining; One whom genius cannot reach! For no mind can stir your heart Without instantaneous art. And the good of many things +From the force of impulse springs, Whether working for an office or a dinner, And the simplest thing in life Is the winning of a wife, If you're slick enough and quick enough to win her. ‘There's a curse in long delaying;— Set your fettered fancies free, Why this weighing, and this staying, When a thing has got to be ? And my motto for the dance is: Do your best and take your chances. AT THE ae —— j, F is at this season of the year that the city i} manager closes his; left eye with a very knowing air and confides to his bosom friend—the man who draws a salary for writing his newspaper advertisements—that arrange- ments must be made for taking the company on the road. It is at this period that “last nights” begin to loom up on the bill-boards, and the country stars prepare to move in and the city-stock act- ors to move out. I told Araminta last week that if she wanted to be regaled by the current attractions before they ceased to be current, she had better settle upon how she was going to trim that new dress, and get ready for a week’s round of visits. The very next morning that dress was rigged out in the full glory of its trimmings, and Ara- minta was in arms and ready for the tray. At the Union Square Theatre we renewed our acquaintance with “ The Danichefis,” prior to bidding them a last farewell, and once more Araminta wept with Thorne, gave a responsive sob to O'Neill’s voice, a look of scorn upon Fanny Morant, and pinched my arm whenever I applauded Sara Jewett’s delicious art. Well, the ‘“Danicheffs” held their own longer than I supposed. Sentiment and tears will do wonders. If the Union Square ‘Theatre ever abandoned its mission and failed to make us weep, what would become of it? . No sooner comes the announcement of th last nights of the “ Danicheffs,” than we are informed that its successor will be ‘‘Smike.” Of course, Nicholas Nickleby —dramatized for the Union Square Theatre —must needs present the most mournful portions of the story, and what sadder scenes can we find in Dickens than those of which poor Smike is the hero? And Bijou Heron is to play the like role. At Booth’s ‘Theatre a new reign has been begun. Tillotson, erstwhile the treasurer—(I was going to say genial treasurer, but was there ever a treasurer who was not genial—in print, PUCK. at least?) Tillotson, the Adonis of the box- office, has assumed managerial control, as pilot of the British beauty! J. McCullough’s engagement was a complete success. Of course, Mr. Winter’s criticisms of him in the New York Zriéune must be taken cum grand satis, as 1 don't honestly think Mr. McCullough is the greatest tragedian this world has ever seen, and f don’t honestly believe that Mr. Winter honestly believes that either, though he prints that opinion, or words very nearly expressive of that opinion. But McCul- lough has many merits—almost as many as Joe ‘Tooker—and it is consoling to know that he has been appreciated. When an actor comes all the way from Cali- fornia to sue for a Metropolitan endorsement, it is well that he should get it—if he deserves it. And when Mr. McCullough gets back to the Golden State, he can cite the comments of the New York press (headed by the Zribune), to prove that local critics aren't such fiends after all, Anna-Dickinson and Stuart Robson to the contrary notwithstanding. Rignold is to open at Booth’s, I wish Tillotson’s enterprise all success; but I must beg of him not to re-revive “ Henry the Fifth.” I know Rignold’s loveliness was lustrous in his royal robes; I know our city-belles worshiped his blonde wig—but, in spite of all this, don’t give us any more of it. There is no excitement about a second revival! And what is a theatrical enterprise without excitement? Don’t resur- rect that most enigmatic of all dramatis per- sone, “ Rumor as Chorus,” to bewilder our comprehensions. ‘The season is very dull, and after “My Awful Dad” has sped his erratic course at Wallack’s Theatre, the last of the “runs” will be ended. Miss Neilson, at Daly’s, will beam upon us for a little while—but the weather has too much beam of its own now, and the adorable Ade- laide will retire to some delightful summer re- treat, and bloom as the loveliest flower among the flowers, utterly regardless of “cues” and “Jengths.” At the Broadway Theatre, where more lights flicker out in a month than are struck at any other place in six, ‘The Wonder-Child” has taken possession. It’s a kaleidoscopical com- bination of things, musical, theatrical and other- wise, with Mr. Gardner of Philadelphia at the helm, and it will really be a wonder-child if it thrives at the theatre that now claims it. 1 must not omit, to call attention to the engage- ment of Miss Bessie Darling at the Eagle Variety Theatre. It is said that Josh Hart charged her $2500 for the privilege of appearing there. Ifso, I hope she got her money’s worth. Perhaps her choice of the theatre was governed by the be- lief that the lackey who dances attendance on the manager, and runs a scurrilous sheet which he calls a dramatic weekly (recently indicted for libel), would give her good notice. Every- body has his opinion of things, and I have mine of Josh Hart, who runs the Eagle, and his very respectable friend who’ runs a libelous weekly. If Miss Bessie Darling shared that opinion, I wager she would have chosen another stage for her, debut. But as Araminta has just observed, what is the use of repining, while Heller still invites you to his feast of wonders and flow of wit? He is lower down on Broadway, but gives a high style of entertainment, and mystifies us more than Tweed's confession, or the reports from the seat of war. Yours passingly, Stas Drirt, P.S.—Araminta wants to know how Miss Heller can read blindfolded, and insists upon my telling her. It is in vain that I answer I don’t know. She says, if I don’t, Lought to find out. Can't you make this clear to me, for Araminta’s sake? S. D. =| | FITZNOODLE IN NEW YORK. VI. THE AMERICAN LANGUAGE. Ya-as, it’s devil- ish cuwious to listen to the vewy odd ex- pwessions Amewi- cans make use of inconversation,On sevewal occasions; fellaws must have thought I was an a-ass, because! couldn’t understand them. People in our countwy, yer know, are under the impwes- sion that the langwidge here is pwoper English, like evewy fellaw ought to talk who's weceived a decent education, but how gwievously mis- taken they are. Some of these Amewican young * spwigs asked me, while I was having some din- ner at the Club, if I would like to ‘fight the tiger," or ‘see the elephant.” Now, how vewy widiculous, to be sure; wonder what these fellaws must have taken me for. “Fight a tiger,” indeed; as if ] looked like a fellaw who would welish engaging in a sanguinawy stwuggle with such a stwiped carnivowous cweature, know sevewal army fellaws in India who've blown out a tiger's bwains with a wifle, and even the Pwince of Wales has gone in for this sort of thing, but for me it would be pwepost- ewous. Besides, I've heard Jack Carnegie say that there are no tigers in this countwy, except in a place called Centwal Park Menagewie, which wesembles the “Zoo” in Wegent’s Park, and if 1 wanted to fight, I wouldn't like to be a widiculous showman in a cage. Another fel- law asked me if I wanted “to see the elephant.” "Pon my soul, this was a monstwous and out- wageous pwoposition as if I were so jolly gween as never to have seen an elephant, which is a cuwious and wather heavily-constwucted cwea- ture with a twunk, and usually wesides in wild- beast shows and menagewies, and has a pwe- deliction for gingerbwead-nuts and fwuit. Wonder if these Amewican fellaws wecognize the fact of my having bwains in any degwee at all, But so much was said about the tiger, and after dwinking sevewal shewwy cobblers and pale bwandies and sodas, I wesolved to and see the fuwious animal, but not to stwike it or annoy it. We weached a wather fine bwown-stone wesidence (devilish queer place to keep a tiger), and when we got inside I looked evewywhere for the quadwuped, but, stwange to say, he wasn’t there. ‘The woom swum wound and wound, and I felt wather dwowsy. I have some wecol- lection of a lot of fellaws with gweenbacks and ivowy dwaughtsmen, on gween cloth, and a thing turning wound at a fuwious wate, and a fellaw with a lot of cards in a tin-box, and cwies of wed and black, and vawious numbers called out in a most iwwegular manner. I didn't leave the Bwevoort the next day. I had a most beastly headache—I suppose caused by twying to dis- cover that mystewious and fewocious bwute. Mrs. Saran Davis has shaken hands with every President from Washington dowa, and she hasn’t got tired yet. She was placed in a very peculiar position before the last election was decided, as she was dying to shake hands with somebody, and didn’t know which it was going to be. if Tilden had been counted in, she wouldn’t have had so much of a hand to shake, and she feels all right now that she has had a grip of Hayes's. As Mr,.Comstock objects to nudity in any form, meat is now dressed before it is sent abroad. Comicbooks.com