Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, April 1922 · page 9 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #32 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces of commentary from the satirical magazine: **First section** references **William Desmond Taylor**, a real Hollywood director whose 1922 murder became a major scandal. The "Whiz Banger" editor defends Taylor's reputation against Hollywood gossip-mongers, calling him a respected leader and man of ideals. The satire mocks other publications and people who profit from spreading "juicy, ripe dirt" about film industry figures—contrasting Taylor's integrity with the moral corruption of those exploiting Hollywood scandals. **Second section** is a humorous anecdote about a bear mascot aboard the U.S.S. Niagara. The joke presents an implausibly intelligent bear that steals and methodically piles blankets—clearly exaggerated tall tale meant to amuse readers. This appears filler content rather than political satire. The page demonstrates *Whiz Bang*'s mix of social criticism (defending reputations against scandal-mongering) and lighthearted humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 7 of men and women who ought to be just "plain folk" and ruins their lives. * * * BUT so far as William Desmond Taylor is concerned—We are unable to see that the movies made a puppet out of him. He was in life respected by his associates—a leader, a man of ideals. And that is why the little old Whiz Banger refuses to be stampeded with the gang that is burrowing in the Hollywood gar- bage can, seeking delicacies of juicy, ripe dirt to twist their long tongues around. * * * WE'VE heard the story of the lions and the lionesses, tigers and tigresses, and bears and bear cubs, but not until we became a guest on board the U. S. S. Niagara in Havana harbor of Lieutenants Parsons and Faga did we really discover the superintelligence of wild animals. The first member of the crew we met was a jovial gob, Jack Sellers, who introduced us to his Pride and Joy, the mascot, a big black bear. "This bear is very intelligent," vouchsafed Sellers. "You know we sailors sleep in ham- mocks on the decks. In the middle of the night when the bear gets cold he sneaks around and steals blankets off the sleeping gobs. He car- ries the blankets to a secluded spot on the ship and piles them evenly, one on top of the other, until he gets forty or fifty. He then retires for