Puck — December 17, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. PUCK. Nos. 21 & 23 WARREN STREET. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terus Jo Suascripers dm the Omited States and Canada. reeks. ‘all Countries in the Berne Postal Treas? Ye year, or 52 numbers. One oe Copy, three certs or 13 num! Inctupima Postrace. }OS. KEPPLER, it, C BONNER SFECIAL NOTICES. Order, etc., are to be addressed to iN remittances aSPrien & SChWARTMAN! ‘We cannot undertake to return rejected communications, and to this rule we can make no exception. ‘TO THE TRADE. All orders for PUCK’S CARRIERS’ ADDRESS— one, of the handsome things of the kind ever published—must be seat da before the 20th of HENRY PGILLIG. & CO. Germany at F. A. BROCKHAUS'S, Lapa, Berlin and Vienna, CONTENTS. Death in the Pot—illus. ‘Three Sonnets—poem.— Arthur ‘Another Dream. Inscription Isory Education—illus. fiphabetical Epie- Rong Erench—illus. Tale of Woes. —V. Hugo Fremroooes me — | *diseabur Ne. CXVIII. Boston Tea Patty No.2 (poem) Oar Precious Plumber. Matthew Cudélepug, Esq. Oil of Congress. ‘A Good Memory —allus, ent Ode (poemi— | Chronology of, Grant's Trip ce. found the Peter Qu orld. ipline in the Fiji Islands— Business Notice. Shakspere Studies —Joba Al-| ils, The Theatres, The Locky Mas—itos, For Tex Asxiovs. Prabibitioa Proverbs. “F. Blake MenwG Gascovwe—John Fraser Crofton, Puck's Excuancus. PUCK’S ANNUAL FOR 1880. The demand for the ANNUAL has been so great—the whole of the first edition having already been sold—that we are obliged to ask the indulgence of purchasers who may be un- able to procure the ANNUAL from their news- dealer. Within the next week the second edi- tion will be ready. KEPPLER & SCHWARZMANN. ANOTHER DREAM. eu near approach of Christmas and the phenomenal stzcess of Puck's ANNUAL for 1880 have set Puck dreaming again, He didn’t dream that he dwelt in marble halls with vassals and serfs by his side, or of the harp that once in Tara’s halls—but he did dream of Ould Ireland or rather of New Ire- land, as he would like it to be. But dreams are always said to go by contra- ties; more’s the pity. He dreamt that Ireland was at last free— that the whiskey goddess of liberty soared and sang; that the murtherin Sassenach had been driven from the soil never to return, All pat- ciotic (we forego the obvious pun) Irishmen had returned to their native country leaving poor Mr. John Kelly alone in his glory at Tam- many Hall, without even one Tammany Re- peater to cry hurrah! when Mr, Kelly might choose once more to nominate himself. ‘The much-maligned and unfortunate Mayor ‘Cooper now loomed up in misty radiance. He had a brush and a bucket of paste—and in another moment there appeared a placard to the effect that several jails, ‘almshouses and penitentiaries were now to let. INSCRIPTION DESIGNED FOR A MEMORIAL TABLET TO BE E RECTED IN THE OFFICE OF THE PUBLIC LEDGER, OF PHILADELPHIA, PA., IN COMMEMORATION OF THE VISIT OF GENERAL U. S. GRANT TO PHILADELPHIA, PA., UNDER THE GUIDANCE A) PATRONAGE OF G, W. CHILDS, A. M., E put aside the facile pen That built the verse known everywhere— How Johnny climbed the golden stair, And never since came back again: ‘Those other lines our heart that stir— How little Billy, agéd two, Tumbled a treacherous ice-hole through, And went to meet his grandmofher. He laid aside the laurel crown ‘That topped his brow, broad, beauteous, bare: He took his very newest hair, And neatly bandolined it down. He tied his whiskers on with strings Behind his high umbrageous ears: He shed a couple of those tears That dew his eyelids when he sings. And then through all the streets he drove His And said: Gusst. And people looked at them “That there is Childs, AM.— I wonder who's the stranger cove?” A change came o’er the spirit of the dream, and there was a change in store for the ‘praste’ who is immediately kicked out of sight by the returned patriot, for holy opposition to land agitation, and lo! there is another change—and it looks like Donnybrook— with its accustomed amusements, For the Americanized patriot shrieks for freedom and tells his oppressed brother to be free and fight for it, with the natural result. Everybody is kilt intirely, and Ireland is in- deed free—and then Puck awoke to the situa- tion as some of the subscribers to the agitation fund will do when Mr. Parnell of the British Parliament and other liberators visit this coun- try. We have not copyrighted this dream. COMPULSORY EDUCATION. A Reauistic Stupy, AN ALPHABETICAL EPIC. A BEE! SEE? D—! | a thorough business training. Puckerings. Wuen you take a horn, drink it slyly; set not up your horn on high. Lisps in numbers—The boy who says: ‘One, two, three, four five, thix, theven.” Hater slashed his sword through the arras effectively as though his victim had been insight. Peru has a new torpedo beat. This isa luxury, at a time when torpedoes cost ten cents a box. Ir there is one thing essential to a poet, it is The world is apt to try to overreach him, on account of the popular idea as to his unfitness for concrete calculations. Miss Frances J. Fercuson announces that she will be cut into small fragments and roasted before she will disclose the names of the in- corporators of the Woman's Employment So- ciety. This has given rise to a heartless rumor that they consist solely of Dr. Mary Walker. We call the attention of Messrs, Whittier, Longfellow and Sidney Lanier to the fact that a Brooklyn lawyer has been summing up in rhyme, in a recent assault and battery case. We know that the law business is bad; but we do not believe that the poetic trades-union will tolerate this infringement upon its own province. Ir seems that a small and strictly private boom is being organized for General Hancock as a presidential candidate; and we have been formally requested to give General Hancock a good notice. We are very obliging people, and take pleasure in complying; but all that we remember azout the subject at present is that he was a rebel general and signed the Declaration of Independence. If these facts are not straight, we shall be pleased to supply others, And if the occasion ever arises, which seems very improbable just at present, we shall give the desirability of General Hancock's can- didature fit and proper consideration. comicbooks.com