Puck — December 10, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

644 PUCK. PUCK. Nos. 21 & 23 WARREN STREET. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Tenus Jo Sunscrisers it J States and Canada. ‘One Copy, one year Que Copy, six months, or 26 sumbers One Copy, three months, or 13 numbers Inctupme Post, H. C. BUNNER: TO THE TRADE. All orders for PUCK’S CARRIERS’ ADDRESS— one of the handsomest things of the kind ever published—must be sent in before the 2oth of December. on Sale in London, at the News Agency of Messrs. F.GILLIG & CO., 449, Strand, Charing Crow, and vs CoM q Puce is HENRY at THE INTERNATIONAL PANY, 11, Bouverie Street, Fleet Street: in Glas . F. ALLAN’S, 31 Renfield Street; in Paris, at TER( 15 Boulevard Saint Mart and on file at Herald” Office, 49 Avenue de I'Opera. Germany at F. A. BROCKHAUS'S, Leipzig, Berlin and Vienna, CONTENTS. Stuck in the Ice. Shakspere Stodies—Joha Al- cERINGS. f0. ‘The Modern Colossus of (rail) | My Uncle (poem)—Arthur Lot. Roads. True Story of the Trojan War. Bro. Talmage Cuts Hinself| No. 1V.—W. Adrift Very Rapid Transit Sallie MeGee—poem. The Pock’s Pawtunow—No. IX.— G. Blsine—illus. ‘Wooing (poem).— m SWERS POR THE ANXIOUS. ypadura Hard: | Ancatte Gascorwe—Joba Fraser : Pucn’s Excnances. The Miller eatres. H, C. Dod, Reflections of tack, Esq.—illus. Frranoopus im Aummca— | No. CXVII. two members of the unfortunate party regard the subject from the same standpoint. It is doubtful if any one-and-a-half, in fact, agree on the simple question of what money is. Some view it merely as a barren ideality, and still are fain to enlarge its issue. Others look at it in quite a different light, as a sacred solid- ity whose value to the holder must in no wise be depreciated This variegated policy seems to us only the natural result of the peculiar position in which the Democratic party has been placed, or ra- ther it has placed itself, for some years. Is it at all odd that a party should be ignorant of the nature and uses of money which has not had the handling of it in twenty years? At the next general election men will vote who have been born and lived all their lives under the administration of the Republican party. During the infancy, boyhood, and downy adolescence of this generation, the American exchequer has been under the con- trol of the capable and capacious Republican. He has stowed away all the loose lucre: he has disposed of the government funds: he has cropped his fill from that traditional “crib "— and all this time the poor “outs” have never seen enough of the public money to enable them to tell gold from greenbacks. If you want the Democratic party to have clearer and more unanimous views on the money question, just give them the chance to learn that their opponents have had, Turn them loose on the Treasury. STUCK IN THE ICE, \QQHE is a very queer old craft, the good S) ship Blunderer, whose only captain is her motive power, a zodlogical specimen known as the “Democracy,” and accurately portrayed in the cartoon on our last page. She was, indeed, a gallant craft, once upon a time; but that time is far behind the memory of even the oldest Bourbon who never learns, never for- gets, and a/ways drinks, Of late-years, she has scarcely kept abreast of the progress in naval architecture. The Robesonian rickets, indeed, pervade her whole system, from stem to stern; and her general style is such as to make her easily navigable by Mr. Richard Thompson, ruler of the U. S, Na- vee and monarch of the marine band. But there is a rococo rustiness about her that has, of late, confined her voyages principally to that fluvial course known as Salt River; and her many trips have invariably been in one direc- tion—up. Just at present, she is at a standstill, stuck fast in the raging canawl of Finance. ‘The de- voted driver from Delaware urges on the fiery charger; but there is very little wild career to be got out of that asinine locomotive. La- mar gives his hair to the wind, thinks of the days befo’ the wah, and poles vigorously on one side. Randall gives futile pokes at the ob- structions on the other, Wood jabs at the jam after his own desultory fashion. Ben Hill pours hot water, boiling from contact with his own ardent spirit, on the ice at the bows; and little Samcox loafs in the stern and sings Pinafore songs. This last performance does not, per- haps, help the advance of the vessel; but it keeps Samcox out of worse mischief, and per- haps utilizes all the talent he possesses, Yet, as an elegant superfluity of culinary ar- tists is apt to spoil the broth, so all the diverse and divergent efforts of the various members of the Democratic crew tend only to put them ashcre, in one sense, and at sea, in another. Not that it is very much to be wondered at. There is a fine collection of widely differing democratic opinions on the money question, There is a woful lack of united action. No EXTRA!!! PUCK’S ANNUAL FOR 1880 is now published, and can be obtained in all quarters of the Globe, from Dan to Beer-Sheba, and from Alpha to Omaha. A few of a myriad of testimonials and communica- tions from distinguished individuals, relating to Puck's ANNUAL, are appended: FROM THE CZAR OF RUSSIA. Winter PALace, ST. STERSBURG. I attribute my escape from a dynamitic death on the Moscow Railroad to a copy of Puck's ANNUAt. for 1880, which I expect to receive next week. ALEX Winpsor CasTLe. During the past fortnight I have suffered from a severe cold. Itis now quite better. Puck’s ANNUAL for 1880 cured me. I shall never take any other medicine. Send me immediately another thousand copies. VicTORIA. FROM PRESIDENT GR’ Unless you forward an additional supply of Puc ANnvat for 1880 I fear nothing can prevent a Cabinet crisis. Cable reply. : Grevy. N OF SPAIN. Escuriat, Mapktp. louds our Honeymoon—we x's ANNUAL for 1880. But we ALPHONSO AND CHRISTINE. FROM THE KING AND Q) Only one circumstance have not yet received Pu live in hope. FROM THE KING OF ITALY. Tite Quirinat, Rome. My health is very poor. I suffer from pains in the shoulder-blades, pains in the head, pains in the toe-nails, baldness, jaundice of the front teeth, and antithesis of the elbow, I feel I could be a better and stronger man, and boss things with more equanimity, if 1 had a copy of PUCK's ANNUAL for 1880. Sendone. HUMBERT. FROM THE SULTAN OF TURKEY. THE SERAGLIO, PERA. Please despatch by first opportunity half-a-dozen su- perior American wives and as many copies of Puck's ANNUAL for 1880. ABbUL Mutpoon. Purkerings. ,TaiMAcE is @ goras.you-please, all by him. self, Queen ANNE-you-all know is dead, but Puck's Annuat know is just born. We wish Mr. Talmage every success; but he will have to boom for his own bolt. THERE was an old man of St. Val, Who remarked: ‘On my honor I shall Pine away quite and die If you don’t let me buy A copy of Puck's ANNU-AL. Mr. WENDELL Puitips thinks that newspa- pers ought to be abolished, and requests them to mention the fact. ‘Tere was a young man of Bengal, Whose faults were exceedingly small. He was so excellent That his neighbors all went And bought for him Puck's ANNU-AWL, Tue Hayden murder case has already de- veloped many interesting features; ditto vis- cera, Tue champagne stop has really failed, it ap- pears; but we may be happy yet, for we have Puck's ANNUAL to fall back on. ANOTHER Peruvian victory is reported. ‘The Chilian gentleman was hit under the left ear, and will not be about for a day or two. Puck's German Kalender is ‘‘soeben erschie- nen,” according to the advertisements. Puck's English Annual isn’t soeben erschienen—it hasn’t that command of syllables—but it’s out. THOUGH we are not a fool, We cannot quite indicate ‘The diff. "twixt a “pool” And a Syndicate, ‘THERE was a young Frenchman of Nesle, Who inquires: ‘ Do you think I would fail To purchase and send To my every friend A sample of Puck's ANNu-alL? Tue Aldermen voted for the Chambers street Horse Railroad that they might have direct communication with the Puck office, and pur- chase Puck's ANNuaL more easily. It is true, the Puck office is at 21 and 23 Warren street; but that doesn’t matter, As white as the breast of the snows is The cloud through whose storm-driven rents We see the dark shades it encloses— The gloom of Valkyrian tents. This is new. But what every man knows is: Puck's ANNUAL 's Twenty-Five Cents, We don’t want to be unkindly critical; but we must suggest to the Czar of Russia that if he wants to get up an attempt that will really wake up popular enthusiasm, it won't do to have a torpedo exploded ten miles behind his railway train. He has got to run some risk about it; even if he does get peppered a bit, like his German colleague. This little arrange- ment of his is attenuated, and ‘doesn’t thrill for a dime. NOTICE. Number 2g of Puck will be hought at this Office, No. 21 & 23 Warren St,, at 2255 CLINT per copy. ‘GF In sending copies by mail please roll lengthwise. comicbooks.com