Puck — December 3, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

$$ sss 626 PUCK. PUCK, Nos. 21 & 283 WARREN STREET. VOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms To SusscRIBERS dn the United States and Canada. ‘One Copy, one year, or 32 cumbers..., Se er reece eae in England and all Countries is . Ove Copy, one year, or 52 ean oo ee: Oe 520 Be waoatha; or ty eaters Inctupn SFECIAL NOTICES. fhe enon tr 9 ete. are to be addressed to ‘Wa cannot undertake to retura rejected communications, and to this rule we can make no exception. Puce is on Sale in Londoa,at the News of Messrs. HENRY F. GILLIG & CO., 449, Strand, Charing Cross, and at THE INTERNATIONAL Bou Office, FOR 1880, Being also an Almanac, a City Directory, a Universal Gasetteer, a Rhyming Dictionary, a Guide to Draw-Poker and Walt Street, a Table of Logarithms, a Cold Collation, a Yack-knife and a Toothpick, will positively be ready on Monday, DECEMBER 8th. It will be more interesting than the President's Message, and a great deal thore grammatical. PUCK’S ANNUAL FOR 1880 is decorated with a glorious chromo-cover. + It is un- necessary to remark in conclusion that PUCK’S ANNUAL is the crowning masterpiece of the Nineteenth Century, the divine efflorescence of modern genius, a panacea for ills in general, a little tin mythology on wheels, a sub- stitute for the, Alexandrian Library, the Sybilline books and New York Central stock; and it will be sold for 25 CENTS. ‘ CONTENTS. Againnt Light and Knowledge, | The Horseman of rac! —ille Pvc Ladies at Our Fair. Strange Love (poem) —H. C. XERINGS. ge. jcace and Juries. rue Story of the Trojan War. GeeHevcat Banvess in Wall “No.2 Street. Tales of Fashionable Life—No. Prof, Proctor Predicts a Star| VI. The Masher Mashed. ‘Shower—illus. Awful Prognostications, Frreooous Cheerful Anticipation— illus. No. CXV! To the Peasut (poem)—A. L 1. Ye Antique Romance (poem)—| The Theatres. Errane Eorique, Broom Chorus—Pleasure Before ‘A Pocket Manual ala Machia-| Business. voli TL. DeVentura 4, | Aktonics—Mont Clemens, Shakspere Studies—Jobo iterary Notes. 422 ‘AxsWwExs pon Te Asious. “Our” Seventh—illus. Ancuta Gascovwa—Jobn Fraser Lays of Ancient Rome—No. 1.| Puck's Excnancus, Folumnoia—Arthur Lot. AGAINST LIGHT AND KNOWLEDGE. JE have, in many instances, shown clearly ( enough that we have no wish to inter- fere with the practice of any variety of religion, so long as its principles are not abso- lutely immoral. We concede the right of the memberswithin its particular fold to believe anything they please, and to enjoy themselves in its doctrines to their heart’s content. If the Jew really thinks that one of these fine days all the members of his race are going to have a very comfortable time in Palestine or elsewhere, under the guidance of some mythi- cal personage, he is at perfect liberty to do so. If the Mahomedan sticks to his single God and his only prophet, the Protestant to his hor- ror of the adulation of the Virgin Mary and the Roman Catholic to his contempt of the Protestant, it is all right as far as we and the general public are concerned. But when one of the numerous sects makes itself ridiculous and obnoxious, it is time for a free expression of opinion. The Roman Catholic Church is always get- ting itself into trouble in some form or an- other, Its pretensions for many centuries have been so great that it cannot or will not’ understand that it is fast decaying as an institution and an instrument for good or evil. It has once more set itself in opposition to our public school system, and Mr. Pope Leo has, through the Boston Archbishop, practi- cally ordered pastors to withhold the sacrament from parents who refuse to send their children to Catholic schools. What will be the awful consequences of this terrible threat is not, of course, to the point; but if the Roman Catholic Church imagines for a moment that it is going to scare the American people into paying for special schools, where instruction is to be given entirely from a Ro- manist point of yiew, it makes a great mistake. It must be understood that no one has any objection to the Roman Catholic Church run- ning its own educational institutions, provided it foots its own bills. But this is the difficulty. Many parents who belong to the Church show their good sense. in not wishing to take their children away from the public schools and paying through the nose, in letting the priest have his own way in mould- ing their young minds; and the result will be that the Church will, as usual, make a virtue of necessity by backing down. It will, as it has always done, bark and howl, growl and snap, and Uncle Sam will let it do so as a Newfoundland dog would be amused at the futile display of temper in a toy terrier, There is no harm in the little animal. If it could insert its teeth anywhere, comfortably, it would feel all the better; but that is entirely out of the question. We recommend the Roman Catholic hierar- chy, in the present state of affairs, to consult with Mr. James Anthony Froude as to their next move; but at the same time would remind them | that the American people do not propose to allow Mr. Pope Leo and a ring of clerical Ital- ians to run this country according to their own peculiar, narrow and bigoted ideas, THE LADIES AT OUR FAIR. UCK has received a revised list of the Y charming young ladies who are officiat- ing at the fair of the gallant and gal- umptious Seventh. ‘This list he takes pleasure in reprinting, seizing the occasion to remark on the felicity of the popular style of feminine nomenclature, which enables him to display the roll of honor with such alluring typograph- ical effect. This could not have been done in our grandmothers’ time—but then our grand- mothers were comparatively vulgar people who ended in y. ‘This is the list: MISS MAM , SMITH, «Jos ‘ «MINN “GEORG “ LIBB THOM “MILL MIVINS. “FANN * GREEN, “ AGG ie “ LILL “JENN « Lorr GRAY. “BECK LEVI. “| MAUD MULDOON. ~ SAD SON. “ BIDD MULVANY. Purkenings. Sinc hey! the merry Proctor and the Stars! Hit the nail.on the head—not on the thumb, Otp Cheese is quite the Correct Ki-bosh fromage. ‘THE most common dish at the country ho- tels—“ all out.” A Apvice to the organ haunted:—“ Buy off your Buttercup,” To MAKE a $100 greenback appear a looking glass:—buy a pier with it. Tue stars did not shoot; but Puck’s An- Nuat is a whole star-shower in itself. VANDERBILT sold out simply to realize enough to buy Puck's Annual. He did not antici- pate that it would be sold at the low price of twenty-five cents, Tuerg is one beauty about these ultra-scien- tific trials, In the end, they will last so long that the law of dust to dust will interfere with the court-room “‘post-mortems” by reducing the’ pickled cheeks and sich to their original elements, Deticate and dyspeptic natures, when suf- fering from injudicious over-indulgence in edi- bles, require a gentle tonic to stimulate the nervous system. To :uch, Puck’s ANNUAL, out this week, will come asa blessed balm after a too solid Thanksgiving. In these days of Art culture, there are plenty of men who can draw direct from the living model; but the young artist who can draw direct from the pack and fill the require- ments of a solitary ace, has a large field and a smiling future before him. Appropriate Shaksperian quotation in re- | gard to the late collision between the Cham- pion and the Lady Olivia: -“Oh’'tis most sweet When in one line two crafts directly meet.” Hantier 3. 1v. “O Motuer Ida, hear me ere I die!” cried GEnone, wandering among the hills where Paris's lambs had, crushed the tender clover tops as Priam’s son had crushed her tenderer heart; “ O mother Ida, hear me ere I die, and gimme twenty-five cents to get a copy of Puck’s Anwuat, or I don't want to live!” Ir having been conclusively proved that one 181,297th of one eighth of a grain of arsenic, deposited in the stomach during the prevalence of a N. E. gale, with low areas of barometrical pressure, will penetrate the medulla oblongata in twenty-seven days, ten hours and nine min- utes, do you really think he kicked her on the cheek-bone? “My son,’do you observe that beautiful young lady about whom all the men in the room are clustering, like moths around a candle? Do you know what is the secret of her phenomenal attraction? It is the exqui- site and unapproachable whiteness of her teeth, which is caused solely by laughing over Puck’s Annuat.” [This doesn’t exactly fit; but the Sozodont people can have it when we are done with it.] comicbooks.com