Puck — November 19, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. PUCK. Nos. 21 & 23 WARREN STREET. VOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Taurus Jo Supscripers the Umited States and Canada. bere H.C. BUNNER™ SFECIAL NOTICES. ga- Remitrances by Money Order, etc., are to be addressed to KEFPLER & SCHWARZMANN. We cannot undertake to return rqected communications, and to this rule we can make no excephon. Puce is on Sale in London,at the News Ageacy of Messrs. HENRY ¥. GILLIG & CO., 449, Strand, Charing Cross, and at THE INTERNATIONAL NEWS COMPANY. 11, Bouverie Street, Fleet Street: ia Glasgow, at G. F. ALLANS, 31 Renfeld "ERQUEM'S, 15 Boulevard i and on file at * Office, 49 Avenue de Germany at F. A. BROCKHAUS'S. Leiptig, Ber PUCK’'S ANNUAL FOR 1880 has already caused the Presidential issue to become of secondary interest. PUCK’S ANNUAL. will be fired upon an expectant world on or about December Ist. The stones, poems and articles, are all new and ori- inal, and have already received the highest encomiums authors and other gifted individuals. e pictures, by Puck's artistic staff, they must be seen to be believed in. The price will be 25 cents currency. CONTENTS. . Politics and Liquor | Aa Impecusio’s Lament.— In These Degenerate Days—il. Pockencs. A Danger. Daddy" Device tus Bie Meatcee an. Yc ra. Beauty. (poeen)—C. H. Thayer Eaplastrum, — Ephraim Mur- a A Knowing Goose—illus. Shakspere’ Studies —Joba bro. ‘The Charity Business—illus. Prrewoopts 1m Aummica.— No. CXIV. aint Martin, Te | True Story of the Trojan War. ow. | —w. Lays of Aacient Rome—Ar- thur Lot, Why the World is Round, Improbable—illus. AVery Severe Case (poem) — Incog. | The Eod of the World at Last. Al | The Seventh Regimest Fair. | Literary Notes. | The Theatres. “POLITICS AND LIQUOR. HE constitution of our new Board of Alderman, according to the quantitative analysis of our E.C, the Wor/d, is illu- strated on our last page. It will there be seen that while several of the homelier, yet more creditable crafts are represented in the assem- blage of the city fathers, the majority of that body is composed of men of twin trades— publicans and publicists—if by that latter title we may designate the gentlemen whose dia- mond studs glimmer in the southern sun on the City Hall portico—gentlemen whose contribu- butions to the literature of diplomacy and poli- tical economy are generally limited to more or less legible signatures on more or less legitimate vouchers for services rendered, or at least to be paid for by the City. The reflective man—if he is not, like the gentle reader, a mere complimentary myth— must find something to stir up the gray matter of his brain in the suggestive symbolism of our final cartoon. Politicians we must have—that is, we cannot be well governed, or governed at all, indeed, without the existence of men who will systematically devote their energies and their intellects to the study of the principles of statecraft. Liquor dealers are also a necessity to bibulous and civilized man—-or at least, civi- lized man thinks so; and it is a clear certainty that the highly-wrought nervous system of the nineteenth century wi// have its cocktail in the morning and its champagne at night, to say nothing of lager-beer in the interval. This may or may not be wrong, it is beyond doubt a fact not to be got over or fibbed about, and all sensible people have long since seen that the only. way to avoid the evils that follow in its train is to give the drinker self-respect by mak- ing drinking respectable. Thus, gradually, day by day, Drink is getting to be a good servant of society in our parlors and our dining-rooms, and retains its bad masterhood over humanity only where, in low and unlawful haunts, it min- isters to a secret and shameful appetite. No, we are not going off into a temperance lecture. This diversion is made only to call attention to the fact that Drink is in a fair way to becoming decent, and that we hate to see it losing its healthy repute by allying itself with politicians. The City Hall statesman and the Sample Room bartender form a miserable co- partnership, Neither one does the other any good. ‘The Politician gets drunk, and the Bartender becomes disreputable. ‘The city is ill-governed, and men take “nips on the sly” until they nip themselves into confirmed inebriety. There are, of course, other links in this chain of argument; but the reflective man may reflect them out for himself. He can’t deny our pre- mises, and he can’t deny our conclusions, and we don’t care what he does intermediately. We don’t wish to be understood as taking ex- ception to the new Board of Aldermen, because we are afraid its six politicians willgo off with its seven liquor dealers and get muzzy and neglect the affairs of the city. We don’t really suppose they will, and we don’t care if they do. We are merely shedding a small tear of sad- ness and blushing a small blush of shame over the painful significance of the association. The spectacle reminds us that our politics, city, state and national, seem unable to rise above the bar-room level, while the presence of the politicians has always kept that level a low one. We don’t like to be finical, and we make no pretensions to being supersensitive in matters of public propriety. Yet we feel called upon to remark that we can conceive of a system of state-craft not founded upon gin-and-water, and we should enjoy our Chiteau Lafitte or our Chambertin much more did we not feel that the generous grape-juice forms also a com- ponent part—usually a very small part—of that distillation known as Cognac, whence springs the inspiration of our local diplomacy. Yes, we think it would be better for both parties if divorce were decreed between Liquor and Politics. Both might be the purer for it: neither has ever gained any lustre from the as- sociation. Yet we see little hope of such an event. We don’t want to be unpleasant, or discouraging; but it seems to us that the bar- tender and the gentleman on the dead loaf, otherwise known as the ‘‘rooster,”’ have substi- tuted themselves permanently for the original Jeffersonian ideal of republican government. | IN THESE DEGENERATE DAYS. “«'Ere’s a go. Hexpectin’ of hus to look hout for hicehergs an‘.the decks hall covered’ with wet paint! Blast their bloomin’ heyes.” Purkenings. A noveltea—Georgia Hyson. Tue poorer the tea, the better the chromo. In Calcutta they stretch out whist into India rubbers, Tue captain of the “ Jeannette" must be a bad man to play cards with. He sports a cold eck, Wuen the angels play poker, they count the little aurora borealises as equivalents of a bob- tail flush. Moke boys fell off chestaut-trees this fall than for several years past. Probably because this is an “off” year. We defer our report of the opening of the Seventh Regiment Fair. Mr. Evarts is only rounding off his first sentence as we go to press. As for the average man, his days may be as grass; but the statement does not apply to a three-months volunteer veteran of the late war, in receipt of a government pension. Tue world did not end on Friday, as an- nounced by the Second Adventists, but con- cluded to wait for Puck's ANNUAL FOR 1880, which will be published about December 1st. Mr. Courtney has written an article in the Fortnightly Review on the “ British Museum Library.” It is not our Mr. Courtney, by the way. His article would be on “ Conchology.” Berore Hanlan and Courtney have that race in Washington, we should like to know the pol- itics of the Umpirical Commission, to decide which is the winner, Is the majority Hanlanic or Courtneycratic? Mr. R. ConktinG, the person who thinks his vest-pocket contains the State of New York, ought to put up Captain Williams as -his candi- date for Senator. The Captain would be con- venient in case of future Canonchetteries. Mr. Hayes, it is of no use to pretend that you have a cold. You may drink gruel, or “stewed quaker,” or put your fect in hot water; but Mrs. H. will make you understand that it is only worldly-minded people who cure colds with Hot-Scotches, she will, your excellency. We rarely go out of our way to be pleasant to strangers, but we must say that the technical skill which the State returning board statisti- cians have shown in adding fifteen per cent to every republican majority ought to make them valuable men at the next presidential election. ‘Tue weather has been so uncertain during the last week that it really would have been rather a,relief if the end of the world had come on Friday, as the Second Adventists said it would, for then we should have known that we might leave our overcoat at home without the slightest fear of needing it later. NOTICE. Numbers 1, 2, 8, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 87, 48, and 84 of Puck will be buaght at this office, No. 21 & 23 Warren St, at 10 CENTS per copy; and Numbers 9, 14, 26, 58, 66 and 5& at 2 CENTS per copy. BGP In sending copies by mail please roll lengthwise. comicbooks.com