Puck — November 12, 1879 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. RI ATR! and 334 St. STATE ATE er a EVERY EVENING AND SATURDAY MATINEE, at 1.30. THE ORIGINAL PINAFORE. THE ORIGINAL PINAFORE. THE ORIGINAL PINAFORE. Admission asc., soc., $1 and $1.50. — BOZODONT. To preserve the teeth and keep them pure and white, to prevent their decay, there market equal to SOZODONT. To preserve ally hard and healthy condition, there is no superior to SOZO- DONT. To purify and sweeten the Breath there is v0 rival to SOZODONT. For a perfect mouth there Is 20 recipe like the use of SOZODONT. Consequently it is no wonder that the populanty of SOZODONT as a dentifrice has no bounds, Al! Druggists keep it. —_—_—<—<—<—<— <<< _________ The Coltow Dental Assoc! Jaily demonstrat: ing the ancsthetic effects of nitrous oxide gas in the parnless extraction of teeth. The number of patlents certifying that their teeth had been drawn without pain, and that the gas was pleasant to inhale, reached on September 24. 1879, 112,743. This includes persons from all of the compass, who have had from onet twenty teeth extracted. Office: No. 19 Cooper Institute, New York. ‘THE POOR MAN'S FRIEND.” ‘This is what the poor man wants, something that will better paying two dollars for a doctor of a dollar for a bottle of some se- ret medicine is out of the question; but surely he cannot grudge a quarter to be cured of the Chills, This is what Thermaline will do without fal, A tal will conmnce che doutefl ~ ANGOSTURA BITTERS, da excelent ‘Tonle of ergot aavor now the whole ch world, cures D: ura noz pied ere Agae, Colics and all disorders of ee eae ‘Try it, ps ried Ask for the 36 “GB. Siege rt & Bons. article, manufactured A We v,lancox, U. Bole Agent 81 Brosdway, BP. 0: Bor, 2610, BILLIARD AND 10-PIN BALLS. F. CROTE & co., 1879 JONES 1840 CHOICE FALL AND WINTER GOODS. Thebest Cigarette is the ‘Puck’ brand. ‘Manufactured by B. Pottax, New York. his condition in life, if sickness assails his household, the idea of Cloth, et IVORY, SHELL Cues, Cuc-Tips, and PEARL Chalk, ete., F f ‘ancy Gocds, Chet, Chesne, i Tomsr Sers, PLAYING CARDS, Cares, Fans, etc. Dominos, ete. Repairing done. No. 114 East Fourteenth St., ‘New York. . | life. Jon hand promptly at the hour of starting, as FANCY Goops. 3% Movserveisiine Gooos SILLIVERY. * % SILVERWARE. Boys’ SUITS. * * GLASSWARE. GLoves. a” ‘* CROCKERY. LACES, Me cHINA, a JONES *, Ps _ es Mo Lighth Avenue Eighth Avenne Oe Nineteenth str “Nineteenth Street. Z|" *, * x JONES , sHors, 3% Me sixs. ciorss, Peg CARPETS. vowrstics, My press Goons. UPHOLSTERY. % MH SUITS &CLOAKs. FURNITURE. * a Personal anlitton Sieept Send s-cont stamp for A HISTRION’'S ANTIPATHY. While Mr. Bandmann, the actor about whom so much has been said, was eating his break- fast a morning or two ago, a man with a para- lytic twinkle in his southwest optic, stepped up and said: “Good morning, most noble Khedive.”” “Good morning,” replied the histrion. “By my halidome, but thou art a merry- hearted knave. Aye, marry, come up, but this is grand; which character, Mr. Bandmann, do you think you enact with greatest effect?” “T never act with effect.” “You act well,” continued the visitor. “No, sir, you are mistaken, I don’t act well, and I never intend to be a good actor. I pro- test against it.” “But I assure you you are a good actor.” “No, I'm not, and I don’t intend to be, either, if I can help it.” “Then you don’t want to be a good actor?” “No, sir.” “That is funny.” “*No, it isn’t; I'll never try to act well. If1 turn out to be a grand success what will the upshot of the matter be? Why, my picture will go floating around, and the first thing I know I'll see it cocked up in the window ofa Bowery hat store to help | trade along. My only show is to be a supe.” —New York Star. TIMOTHY STEVENS, Progelstes. Sole Agent for Juuxs Cuavenia’s Clarets: Manet & Co's. Brandies: Accunman-Lavnance Champagnes; Macenzie & Co's, and Morcan Buos., Sh THE BODECA, 83 Cedar Street & 351 Broadway, N. ¥. L. DE VENOGE, 87 Sonth William Street, New York. CENERAL ACENT. For Sale by all the Prinet Merchant a Groce: E. RIDLEY & SONS, Grand and Allen Sts, N. Y. BLACK DRESS SILKS WITHOUT LOADING, ENTIRELY PURE SILK, 95 CENTS, 21 INCHES WIDE Woitw its usual facilities for obtaining impor- tant news in advance of its contemporaries, the ost is enabled to publish the following an- J. nouncement of a six days’ match between school-children and snails, to come off shortly at the Mechanics’ Pavilion. As may be sup- posed, this match is arranged to settle the vexed question as to the relative speed of school-children and snails. Shakspere tries to place their progressive powers on a par, when he speaks of the school-boy ‘‘creeping like snail unwillingly to school,” while more mod- ern writers contend that the snail has a pro- nounced advantage in both wind and limb. It is useless, however, for us to look for an in- crease of national greatness, or a return of commercial prosperity, while vital questions such as these remain undecided. What we want are the bottom facts, and the result of the approaching match will, doubtless, overthrow preconceived notions in a manner calculated to shake the sporting and scientific world to its centre. The entrance fee for school-children will be one hundred unsucked sour balls, or eighty-six glass alleys—public school currency. Snails, on account of difficulty in tranporting bag- gage, will be free. Slugs, half price. The children will be allowed to carry fishing- poles, green apples and other things calculated to make them feel as if they were playing truant, and otherwise encourage them. Any bystanders detected in the act of exhibiting spelling-books, birch-rods, or otherwise endeav- onal to frighten the competitors, will be sum- arily dealt with. All snails who have previously crawled for money will be barred. The winner to receive one grab at the gate- money after expenses are deducted and the managers have gotten through with the ba; together with an elegant lithographic illum ated Sunday-school merit card. The second to get one-half the remainder, the third to get what's left, and the fourth to get away with its THE PUREST CHAMPAGNE ‘S ‘N 3HL NI O3LH0dWI Wine BLACK AND COLORED DAMASSE—FIGURED AND STRIPED, LARGE PURCHASE, 85c., %e., #1, $115, $1 80, to $225 per yard. STRIPED AND FANCY SATINS, ALL SHADES. TRIMMED BONNETS, SPECIALTIES FOR THE SEASON. MOURNING BONNETS, FULL NAP BEAVER HATS BEAT QUALITY, EVERY CO- LOR AND SHAPE, at $125, $1.60, $2, and $295. PUR PELT HATS AND BONNETS, ALL, COLORS, 60c., 78c., WOOL HATS, FINEST QUALITY, 26¢., 60c., and 6f0, MEN'S, YOUTHS’, AND BOYS’ HATS. WORSTED SHAWLS AND WAISTS. LADIES’ UNDERGARMENTS, BARGAINS IN DRESS GOODS AND SHAWL DEPARTMENT. SUITS, SACQUES, AND CLOAKS as "poubuebiesersb. | {$138 eacl FINE ALL-WOOL, BEAVER “SACQUES, SILK. {$6 85. FINE CLOAKS AND MANTELS, $10, $12 60. $15, and $20. IMPORTED MANTELS, &., HALF REGULAR PRICES. CHILDREN’S SUITS AND CLOAKS, ALL SIZES AND PRICES. BARGAINS IN OUR 52 DEPARTMENTS, E. RIDLEY & SONS, 309, 311, 311 1-29 GRAND 87. 66, 58, 60, 62, 64, 66, 68, and 10 ALLEN STREET. The snailroad is now being rapidly con- structed, and contestants are requested to be any delay in that respect will interfere with the match between tom-cats and bed-bugs, which is the next of these recherché entertainments on the list.—San Francisco Fost. comicbooks.com