Puck — November 5, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. PUCK. Nos. 21 & 28 WARREN STREET. YOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Turus Jo SUBSCRIBERS dn the United States and Canada. HWARZMANN. H. C. BUNNER. SFECIAL NOTICES. gar Remittances by Mons Order, ete are to be addressed to KEPPLER & SCHWAI ‘We cannot undertake to return rejected communications, and to this rule we can make no exception. 00 fits Be Senden, at the News Agency of Moser: HENRY F, GILLIG © CO, 449. Straeds Chari and at THE INTERNATIONAL NEWS COM Street, FleetiSt Street: in Pari ‘Office, 49 Aver and 00 fil Germany at F. A. BROCKHAUS'S. Lejprg, Berlin and Vienna, PUCK will publish about Thanksgiving, in time for the Tur- “7 ANNUAL FOR 1880, jnal matter, the best of its kind and ‘gorgeously Inostrated by J Keppler, fand other members pages, all new and on} pes’ Sits eotaeaty sod ee deal na ‘Those who contemplate ica, or the New York City PUCK’S ANNUAL FOR 1880 handier and more humorous. PRICE, 25 CENTS CURRENCY, warranted for one year. CONTENTS. ‘A Nautical Epic (poem) — D. Police Pleseastry ay Tales of Fashionable Life—No, wrchasing the Kacyclopaedia Brita rectory. are informed that they will The Great Domestic Walking- Match—illus To the Peanut (poem)— Arthur Silas Marner’s Funeral —Rich- ard Gibson. Rectification. Axswans ror tx Arciovs. ‘The Theatres. Joba Fraser Ancuns Gascona—) Pocx’s Excuances, Eeonomieal Moving— ills, te AMERICA.— No. CXII, The J “Artistic Ueno "Tous Lan Shakspere ayaa Ab hakspet J about his business. And why should Mr. Wil- liams be in any different position ? The simplest well-founded complaint made against any one of these Knights of the Club ought to be followed by instant suspension from duty, and then, if the charge is reasona- bly proved, dismissal of the policeman ought to ensue in rather less than no time. There ought to be no exhibition investiga- tions, with reports, to fill up columns of news- papers; no pomp, pride and circumstance of an impeachment trial of a Warren Hastin, an Andrew Johnson; and above all no bullying defendant to insult respectable complainants, It is fortunate for Mr. Williams that Puck is not the sole Commissioner of the police force of the City of New York, with power to do as he pleases, Our methods would be as simple as’ they would be effective. With the reputation that Mr, Williams » he might safely have reckoned on being kicked out of the force he has disgraced long before this. Plenty of good men are to be obtained in his place. He should not be allowed to be a terror to the unfortunate denizens of his precinct for an- other hour. We are glad to see that the strong arm of the law is gradually beginning to assert its sway, and that Justice, blind though she be, is reel- ing up some of that red tape Mr. Williams has hitherto had so much cause to thank. This time it will bring him up with a round turn, in spite of the howls and execrations of those who call themselves his friends, so long as his policy suits their own peculiar purposes. At present the model New York police cap- tain walks about 4és precinct as if it was his own private property, or he was the Czar of all the Russias honoring a small province with his presence. It is not Ais precinct or any other person’s; it is but a part of the City entitled to po- lice protection, without reference to Captain Smith’s, Brown's, Jones's, Robinson’s or Wil- liams’s personal feelings. NEMESIS. M R. PoiceMaN WittiaMs has certainly no reason to complain of want of occu- pation—indeed, his hands may be said to be quite full. A civil action of $10,000 cam es against him, an indictment by the Jury, and a trial. by the Police Com- Sees dato his latest clubbing exploit, form a very respectable ¢ of annoyances calculated to disturb the equanimity of the most pachydermatous nature, ‘even unto a J. Kelly. Puck has no desire to prejudice the cases against Mr. Williams while they are sub judice, but he cannot refrain from remarking that it was really about time to find out whether the citizens of New York were employed by the police, or the police employed by the citizens of New York. From the extraordinary demeanor of Mr. Williams in this Smith clubbing business before the Commissioners, it somehow appears as if New York was much beholden to Mr. Williams for doing the distinguished honor of consent- ing to take charge of a precinct and to club at discretion. _ In no other civilized country under the sun would a mere vulgar policeman be allowed to defend himself & again such charges by brow- beating respectable witnesses, The occupation of a policeman is not one that requires a very high order of intellect. A boot-black or a street-sweeper has more neces- sity for brains. And yet these miscalled guar- dians of the peace take upon themselves to dictate to their employers, the people. If your servant doesn’t suit, you send him _ JUSTICE. T last we have them! The perpetrators of Pinafore have arrived in this country, Rashly trusting in the weakness of human nature, over-bold in their British pride, they have walked slap into the den of the exasperated lion. The consequences be on their own heads! Next week we shall present a picture of the partner principally responsible—the brigand that a tortured nation execrates and imprecates under the name of William Schwenck Gilbert. It is true that the most objectionable feature of Pinafore—the music—is chargeable to his ac- complice, Sullivan, But this latter deserves a certain amount of leniency, on the ground of mental incapacity. He is only a musician, and knew no better. Our portrait of the principal villain will en- able private citizens to recognize and execute vengeance upon him, It is gratifying to be able to announce that his public chastisement has already commenced. A delegation has been appointed to see that the two Bulgarians visit every single, separate and distinct Pinafore in the country. They began with the Church Choir orapany) at Hav- erly’s Brooklyn Theatre, last Monday, and they are to be put vigorously through the whole list, including the San Franciscan ‘ No Pinafore.” If they survive the ordeal, they will be handed over to the mob. Let the people learn by heart the features of the uns; ible Pinaforist, which will be duly delineated in our next; and when their day of vengeance comes, let their stroke be sure! Patkerings, HE was not a statesman: he was not a gen- tleman—but he was a good judge of whiskey, Now, perhaps, Captain Williams will want this trial adjourned until the other one is de- cided. Mr. Ketty may now rey on his laurels, N. B.—One laurel works up into a rather thin mattress, Tue Tammany distribution of prizes for the highest score of votes will positively take place to-morrow. Mr. Evarts's remarks on the result of the election are anxiously awaited, and will be re- ceived in installments. Tue Hon. John has now another chance to trot out the motto of his royal house: ‘My God, my God, is it possible!” Tuis falling of the autumn leaf may be beau- tiful and symbolical and poetical and all that; but it makes the trees look awfully immodest. “Lo! what a cloud of witnesses” encompass Captain Williams around! And lo! what a mighty snide quality of witnesses they are, too. WE sincerely trust that Mr. Hayes has not exhausted a// the state fairs, He ought to re- serve some means of keeping himself in the popular eye, or he will be quite forgotten next year. Tue public-spirited voter who awakes this morning, in the station-house, with a head on him, cares very little whether or no the Statel is similarly well off. Joan oF Arc successfully led an army to vic- tory. But did she ever go to’a picnic and not scream murder when a grassho) opper jumped down her neck? History is silent on this point. Ow in Lon intings are reproduced in fac-simile, don, by a new process called Poikil phy. When a religious weekly offers a premium of a handsome “ Poikilograph” to each new subscriber, don’t invest your money under the impression that it is an instrument to measure the distance from the earth to the sun. WueEn little Bob asked his sister’s beau for a cigar, his future brother-in-law snubbed him with the remark: ‘‘ Young man, a strap would do you more good.” Next night Bob's sister and her young man got their hands, chins and clothes smeared with coal-tar while lingering at the front gate, and little Bob, when ques- tioned on the subject, said he couldn't tell a lie—* it must have been a tramp.” We learn—officially—that Mr. Henry eh disowns Captain Williams and all his deeds. It is much to be regretted that Mr. Bergh ever gave us—inferentially—reason to think other- wise. We can now only express a wish that the lately-clubbed Mr. Smith were a horse, For then the outrage might have drawn from Mr. Bergh a more positive and public expres- sion of his disapproval. We have made, in an other column, a few remarks to which we wish to draw the reader’s attention,