Puck — October 22, 1879 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. SSTANDARD THEATRE. Broatwoy ond $34 'W, Haxpanson, Proprietor & Manager. EVERY EVENING AND SATURDAY MATINEE, at 1.30. THE ORIGINAL PINAFORE. THE ORIGINAL PINAFORE. THE ORIGINAL PINAFORE. Admission asc., soc., $1 and $1.30, jeware of Counterfeits and Imitations! BOKEB’sS BITTERS. 201 zr ‘and Ague, &c. A fine most excellent for c. Comparatively the L. FUNKE, Jr, Delo Ageat, P. 0. Bex 1029, 78 John St. N.Y. POND’S EXTRACT is the createst known remedy for caring diseases of an inflammatory character and stopping hemor- thages, No household should be without it. Happiness goes hand in hand with health, therefore this beneficent agent does much for the people in never failing to inspire the afflicted with cheerful confidence, Where itis used in a family it is appreciated, because it does so much for its comfort. It is truly an exalted physician which never fails. Beware of imitations. Get the genuine. Take no other. a sn OE ETT aar yr oumar eunteeed ORODONT. To preserve the teeth and keep them pure and white, to prevent their decay, there is no preparation a the market equal to SOZODONT. To preserve the gums in a natur- ally hard and healthy condition, there Is 20 superior to SOZO- DONT. To purify and sweeten the Breath there's 20 rival to SOZODONT. For a perfect mouth there is 20 recipe like the use of SOZODONT. Consequently it is no wonder that the populanty of SOZODONT as a dentifrice has no bounds. All Druggists keep it. ‘When you are in Chicago, Ills., don’t fail to visit Chapin’s original Antiquarian Book-store, N.'E. corner Madison and Dear born Sts, A wenderful and curious collection of books, standard works of all Kinds, all sizes, all prices. Thousands of volumes that would be pleated to make your acquaintasce. Send for a list of works. Any book you want—new or little wora—furnished at short “ut thisjout. Over 75,000 volumes in stock, Libraries Purchased. HER MALI VE, is worth more than its weight ia gold, as thousands will testify, is a dead shot to Chills and Fever, is the only known substitute for Quinine, and is very pleasant to the taste. This remedy will cause the most stubbora cases to yield at once. All those suffering from Chills and Fever should give this world-renowned remedy a trial. It restores the paticat to perfect health, which is the only true harbinger ¢obappiness.— Kansas City Times. rey xed over 4, Diarrh v0 Ask, or the inciured Uy Bee 3, @. 8, Gages & Sone ole Agent, 51 Broadway, P. 0. Bor, 3610, 6. H MOMM & 00/3 CHAMPAONE mportation 1x 1878 35,906 Cases, or 16,270 casos more than of any other brand. The best Cigarette is the ‘Puck’ brand. ‘Manufactured by B, Poutax, New York. THE SHORT-SIGHTED PRIMA DONNA. I am a favorite everywhere, A million I've delighted; But one thing mars my life so fair— I'm awfully near-sighted! Of course, upon the stage, you know, I cannot wear my glasses, And the ennui I undergo Alll fantasy surpasses. When to the tenor I should own My feverous passion gladly, I always grasp the baritone ‘And clasp him to me madly. I fling my arms around the bass, Defying the libretto; And always manage to embrace The Duke, not Rigoletto! In every drinking-song, alas! When I perform the grand belle, I seize, instead of cup or glass, An inkstand or a hand-bell! And when I go to take a chair; To suit the act’s conditions, In spite of my unwearying care, T fall, in all positions! Then when a kindly audience means To call me out quite clearly, I always knock against the scenes, And bump my head severely. And should I gracefully appear, When a recall is certain, To make my curtsey far and near, I'm knocked down by the curtain! To sing in “ Norma” I was reared, But my eyesight’s so fickle, 1 oft mistake the high-priest's beard For ivy with my sickle! And once in operatic rage, Singing as fine as Tietjens, I missed the exit on the stage, And stepped on the musicians! The prompter’s box I’ve hugged and pressed In wildest jubilation, Thinking I held unto my breast, Manrico, my salvation! And I have warbled by the hour, (Last act of “‘Trovatore”,) Unto the woods and nof the tower, Where tenors yell for glory. Dinorah has a shadow song, And when I sing the tune light, I never once danced straight along Upon the calcium moonlight! And every fall, mistake and blow, Gives me a keen reminder That I, in all my youthful glow, Am daily growing blinder. But I care naught, and will rejoice So long as critics laud me, And when, enraptured by my voice, A thousand hands applaud me! Cupid Jones, in the Hand Organ. BricHaM Youno’s grave is said to be “ neg- lected and stoneless.” He left too many af- flicted widows. What is everybody's business is nobody’s business, When the condition of her late husband’s grave is mentioned to Mrs. Young No. 10, she replies: “ Well, if he wants a tomb-stone, let that proud, stuck-up Belinda Jane Young get him one—it’s as much her bus- iness as it is mine!" And when the subject is brought to the attention of Belinda Jane, who is Widow Young No. 14, she retorts: ‘ Let Sa- rah Jerusha Young attend to it. She has known him longer than I.” And it looks as if he would never get a tombstone. — Norristown Herald, Tho Bodegs The Bodega Supplies the very finest imported Wines and Spirits by the bottle, gallon or hogshead at wholesale prices: also samples by MGM TIMOTHY STEVENS, Proprictor. Sole Agent for Jutes Ctavense’s Clarets: Maxett & Co's. Brandes; AcicexmAn-Laumance Champagnes; Mackenzis & Co's, and Moncan Bros., Sherries. THE BODECA, 83 Cedar Street & 351 Broadway, N. ¥. FURNITURE. CARPETS, BEDDING otc. otc. B. ML. COWPCRTHWAIT & Co., (Established 1807.) 153,155 & 157 Chatham St. EIGHTEEN SHOW ROOMS. EVERYTHING FOR HOUSEKEEPING, Store, Ofice aud Saloon Furnitare, PAYMENTS MAY BE MADE. WEEKLY or MONTHLY. Weekly and Monthly Payments. Jordan & Moriarty, 167, 167 1-2 & 169 CHATHAM ST. FURNITURE, CARPETS, BEDDING, OILCLOTHS, &c. Longer Time and Better Terms given than by any other house in the city. JORDAN & MORIARTY, 167, 167 1-2 AND 169 CHATHAM ST. MATRIMONY. A Prince desires to correspond with a young and handsome ‘ ‘vevrral Millions, with a view to Matrimony. poste restante Budapest, Hungary. Address, * Venus 10°" comicbooks.com