Puck — October 15, 1879 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. 507 BENEATH THE MOON. [Roxpeav.] BENEATH the moon three shades there be, And two, arm-linked, walk silently, ‘As searching for more tenebrous gloom Than can be found this side the tomb; Alas! flirtatious he and she Beware of shadow number three; For see him, fiendish in his glee, Approach from where yon crags up-loom Beneath the moon. Poor shadow three, they picked up he, A corpse paternal, near the-sea; But shadows one and two they room Near Union Square, and keep a broom For use in case they don’t agree Beneath the moon. James R. CaMrpent. THE KELLY CANVASS. THE HON. JOHN ON THE STUMP. MORE ABOUT HIS MOVEMENTS. POUGHKEEPSEE PATRIOTIC! AUBURN ALIVE!! TAMMANY ON ITS TRAVELS. Latest News from the ‘Herald’ Commissioner on the Triumphal Chariot. ALL FOR 10 CENTS. Ausurn, N.Y., October 13th, 1879. We are on the unlimited boom—scooping up success in big handfuls, All sad memories of Syracuse are eradicated from our minds. All that weighs upon us is the difficulty of looking modest under such a load of success. We are crowned with a forest of bays. This is more or less metaphorical. I stick to that hat of mine—the hat founded in 1856. It may not be so beautiful; but it is warmer, and almost as classic. Poughkeepsie is now a success of the past. But it was a four-wheeled glory, with a bay- window, while we had it. We stormed the Retreat for the Mentally Off, and swept it away in the tide of triumph. There is not a single member of that noble institution who wouldn’t vote eighteen times over for Mr, Kelly. Some of the ladies enthused to an extent that came very near bringing blushes to our manly cheeks —and if the blushes weren’t quite brought, it was the fault of the cheeks, and not of. the ladies, Nor were they an inferior grade of ladies, 1 wish you to understand, One of them told me that her name was Joan of Arc, and another, I was credibly informed, is’a claimant to the throne of England. A beautiful young creature, swallowed a Saratoga trunk, told me that she not only vowed herself heart and soul to the Hon. John ; but that she would interest her par- ticular friend, the Empress of Senegambia, in the canvass, Auburn was taken last night, when Mr. Kell addressed the guests of the Government Hotel. He won all hearts and votes at once by his frank and genial'style of oratory. His remarks were as follows: “Friends, fellow-citizens and co-workers in the holy cause of progressive morality and a free currency: I appear before you to-day as one of yourselves, I pretend to no aristocratic and undemocratic distinction. I address you, horny-handed laborers, as a horny-handed laborer myself. 1 come right among you and talk to you at your tasks, Some of you are pegging shoes—some of you are picking oakum —some of you are merely ecreatiog yourselves by pedestrianizing about with nice lit cap weights, in globular form. Yet all are equally my brothers.” [Cries of hear/ hear/ Mr. Kelly, in his playful way, reached for my pocket-pistol out of my hip-pocket, and mois- tened his own democratic throat.) “ Yes, my friends, we are all bound together by a beauti- ful identity of doctrines—doctrines which have been long, and I may say well, represented in my official career.” [Here Mr, Kelly reached again for my reviver, and, on finding it empty, patted me playfully on the left ear. The re- mainder of the hon. orator’s remarks I lost while getting out from under the table.] Mr. Kelly's speech was an emphatic hit, We have gained the suffrage of Auburn. We go for Binghamton next, to visit the Imbiber's Home. The Hon. O. B. Potter, with a demijohn of whiskey, and the Hon. Dorsheimer, with a certificate of true demo- cratic principles (signed by C. A, Dana), have joined us. Cox, Holahan, Hoskins (John B.) and Gussy Schell stick to us and the campaign fund, and keep healthy and dry. My next from Binghamton. RHYMES OF THE DAY. SPECULATION, Now is the time when the Fall winds blow, ‘And the Broadway swell. On Robinson bets a new chapeau If he can find a fellow who'll go Eight dollars worth on Cornell, A.H.O. COMPENSATION, Tue venerable Sam'l, he Has no blooming family— It’s funny. But he has no cause to quar'l With fate, who owns a bar’! Of money. (S.J. Tilden, Dr. to Puck—$5.—] ttle handi-" THE SAVANNAH MALEVOLENT ASSOCIATION. vee officers of the above very close corpo- ration are still as dumb as oysters with regard to that balance sheet which was last asked for in Puck of September 3rd. To tell the truth, we didn’t expect to get it, and consequently were not disappointed, for the managers of the Savannah Malevolent As- sociation we never thought were the style of men to be troubled with qualms of conscience or overburdened with any conventional ideas as to the proper method of managing and ac- counting for funds entrusted to their care for charitable purposes. But although the Savannah Benevolent As- sociation—we'll concede to it its questionable title—does not distinguish itself in balance sheets and in giving civil answers to legitimate questions, its members are quite expert in wri- ting anonymous letters. We had a faint hope that Puck's remarks on the queer behavior of the association would call forth some sort of reply, and this hope was realized in the shape of a letter signed ‘‘A member of the Savannah Benevolent Association,” addressed to the Edi- tor of this paper. ‘The writer, we suppose, didn’t think his name would carry much weight with us, and therefore neglected to sign it. Perhaps he was ashamed of it, and if he really belongs to the S. B. A., we can’t, taking a purely worldly view of the matter, blame fi ‘Any Association that would permit one of its members to authoritatively shelter himself be- hind a cowardly anonymous letter, without even an address, shows conclusively that it would not be likely to stick at much. In such a position is the Savannah Benevolent Association. The contents of this elegant epistle are, of course, nothing to the point, but if Puck did attach the slightest importance to them the anonymous member of the S. B, A. has not raised himself, his colleagues, or the Associa- tion in our estimation. We asked a ridiculously simple question, We only wanted to know how the thousands of dollars of which this model Association has had the handling have been spent, and it won't tell us or anybody else. The officers of this sweet little charitable and exclusive corporation are J. M. Sotomons, J. L. Warren, Directors. Should yellow fever ever chance to make its appearance again in Savannah, and it be necessary to raise subscriptions to alleviate suffering, the Savannah Benevolent Association, |if we know it, shall not have the handling of ‘ our contribution in whatever shape it may be, _ THE DEVELOPMENT who remarked to me, incidentally, that she was rather under the weather from having recently OF THE SOCIALIST. From BasyHoop To BLaTANcy, comicbooks.com