Puck — October 1, 1879 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. AT THE GATE. E morn a Sachem at the gate Of Samuel stood, disconsolate; ‘And as he heard the mirth within Attest the generous Bourbon flowing, ‘And saw “ old Cypher’s” placid grin ‘Through the half-opened portals glowing, He wept—to think of his disgrace In exile from that glorious place. “+ How happy!” exclaimed he, did I dare Rejoin the kindred spirits in there, Forgotten, forgiven my terrible fall. Though mine are the legions of Tammany’s braves, ‘Who can roar at conventions like storm-driven waves, ‘That “ bar'l” of Sammy's is worth them all, “Though Dorsheimer’s intellect seemed to be clear, ‘And Schell had oft proved a Political seer; ‘Though the Sachems all danced just as I chose to play: Yet, when to drive Robinson out of my way T'struggled, ‘twas I who went down in the fall. And now it is only “the Bolter” can say How the tactics of Sammy outjockey us all. “Go search the land, in peace or war, From ring to political ring, as far ‘As the tentacles stretch from Tammany Hall; ‘Take all the tricksters, modern or old, And multiply each a million fold, One deal of okd Sammy would euchre them all” ot FITZNOODLE IN AMERICA. No, CVII. WALKING MATCH, Ya-as, aw I be- lieve it was some time ago I wote about a walking- match when sever- wal fellaws twamped a twemendous dis- tance faw the verwy laudable purpose of enabling an Eng- lish walkah named Wowell to carwy back with him to Gweat Bwitain a considerwable amount of dollahs, It was in connection with a aw pwize-belt that Astley, aw John Astley, the barwonet, ye know, had given to an Irwishman who had walked wound and wound the Agwiculturwal Hall at Islington, so that in the aggwegatet the distance was quite a fai-ah quantity of miles. This Irwishman bwought ovah this b-b-belt, and the Englishman Wowell arwived he-ah about the same time, and naturwally wecoverwed it with- out the least twouble in the worwld. By some extwaordinarwy accident Wowell got wid of it again, and now he and some othah law came ovah he-ah, too, to wegain the arwangement in the event of Wowell being un- avoidably pwevented fwom doing so. Ya-as, the affai-ah has taken place at Sedge- moor’s Gardens, and it was but a wepetition of the orwiginal walking-wace, only a larger numbah of idiots twied their powers of endur- wance. Aw, Jack and I were there at the start, we had to wemain up verwy late to see it—one o'clock in the morning, if I wecollect wight— and it was perfectly widiculous to see the cwowds of pene who: seemed to take an interwest in the thing. Haven't yet been able to discovah my weason faw allowing myself to be dwagged there, but a fellaw often has to do things because othah fellows do them. It's wathah weak, but it is naturwal. A varwiety of nationalities was wepwesented. ‘There was an Irwishman, who, I believe, had been a bwicklayah, and looked it. There was a Fwenchman with long hai-ah, who, I am told, had accomplished the wemarkable feat of twun- dling a wheelbarwow acwoss the Atlantic. There was a fellaw who wore a wed shirc and came fwom some countwy in the north of Eurwope —ya-as, Sweden or Wussia. There were also severwal Amerwican walkahs in varwious stages of gwowth, and a negwo boy, who moved wound in a verwy wespectable mannah faw a fellaw belonging to an inferwiah wace. This aw wearwy twamp went on faw a con- siderwable portion of a week, landing the Englishmen Wowell and Hazael, as 1 knew verwy well would be the case, befaw all the othah fellaws, ‘A pwodigious numbah of people paid severwal shillings each faw the pwivilege of enterwing the stwucture where the walking was taking place. Amerwicans are outwageously extwava- gant in such nonsenses. Natives of Gweat Bwi- tain are not such blasted a-asses as to thwow away their money on wotten amusements. Would be weally quite to awfully absurd aw, but, ‘pon my soul, nothing now in this countwy affords me any surpwise aw. THE BOLD BURGLAR. “T'll surround you, Maria! Ain’t I your natural protector?” Proressor Gruspeer.—“ La Puce” —the Flea—‘“‘la Pucelle’—the Maid of Orleans—very queer! Wonder if there's any connection, KING ULYSSES I.—TERM 3. Peorte, Hoop.uas, &c. Hail! Hail! Long live the King. Kino Utysses I. (wadking the plank). Right glad are we To tread again our realm; to see our subjects Loyal unto our person and our cause; Eager to render low obeisance to That strange divinity that doth hedge a king. Our absence hath been much prolonged, but stores Of knowledge gained in monarchies effete Will help us make our kingdom more like them, Avoiding that wherein they have done well, We now will imitate what they do ill. Somewhat.we feared while we sojourned abroad ‘That temporal affairs within our realm Might suffer; but reposing special trust In our beloved the shrewd and stalwart Roscoe, And in the trusty and efficient Blaine, We thought to ’scape awhile the cares of state. At last we have returned, thinner but well, Anxious and fitter to resume our throne, Enter Pace (J. R. Y.) Hither, our Page. Each Page helps make a rea(I)m. The ink thou 'st flung would float the ship of state! Our nimble Page! Can’st read as well as write ? What say our letters waiting since last May ? Pace (J. R. Y.) Alas! bad news, Your Majesty, the tidings are The while Sir Roscoe did, in futile dalliance Forget his knightly fame, was fought and lost The battle of S. Prague, and worse! the nimble Blaine And he make common cause (each for himself) Against Your Majesty, and while in the East They plot their treachery, the West country Is thrown in tumult by the usurper Hayes Who makes the people promises, and secks To seat himself again upon your throne. Kino Utysses [. Ha! Say they so? Our realm cut into schnitz? My Childs, and what of him? Write to our Herald Let him announce that soon we shall go East, Meanwhile we'll show ourself to yonder throng, And while the joy-bells ring we'll ponder what Cautious and well-planned ees and action prompt Will best advance our righteous cause, and swift Confusion bring to all our enemies. Dennis KEARNEY, 1 am present, I, but—Hist! Ha! Ho! Keep shady! TENNIS BLARNEY. comicbooks.com