Puck — October 1, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

466 PUCK. PUCK. Nos, 21 & 28 WARREN STREET. VOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Jerus Jo SuBSCRIBERS In the United States and Canada. One y, one year, or $2 numbers .. ee Goby sie Reaihey oe 26 sunbe One Copy, three months, or 13 numbers Inctupma Postrace. ~ SPECIAL NOTICES. SF Dee Eoghan fa cansot undertake to return rejected communications, and to this rule we can make 20 exception. Puce 1s on Sale in London, at the News Agency of Messrs. HENRY F.GILLIG & CO., 140, Strand, Charieg Cross, and at THE INTERNATIONAL NEWS COMPANY, 11, Boorere Street: in Glasgow at G. F- ALLANS, 8% Mitchell 'TERQUEM'S, 15 Boulevard Saint Martin, Herald"? Ofice, 49 Avenue del'Opera.. In A. BROCKHAUS'S, Leiprig, Berlin and Vienna. CONTENTS. Can the Ancient Love ? Seasonabl—illus, ‘At the Gate (poem).—E. C. H. TINOODLE IN AMERICA.— > With Pucx’s Compliments to tus. No. CVI. Rhymes of the Day ‘The Bold Burglar—iltus, Mille a Camp-Mectiogs. Etymological—i lus Cleopatra and the Asp (poem).| King Ulysses 1—Term 3.— —RW.C. ‘Tennis Blarney. Shakspere Studies.—John Al-| The Kelly Caavass. eatres. ‘yor THe Anxious. Explained. A Demaiton Horrid Grind— lus. ny ‘Weston's Influence on the Egg Gymoastics. 5 Final—poes Ascurz Gascorma—Jobn Fraser Troddledums the Simias—illus, | Puck's Excnancns, Poet-Tree (poem)—H.C.Dodge. PAIN AND PEDESTRIANISM. Ger walk for the Astley belt, which has set the whole country agog for the past week, is now over, This is a small mercy, but is something to be thankful for, although we have looming up ominously the prospect of another of these intellectual exhibitions in a shape of a playful struggle for a girdle which bears the name of Mr. O’ Ye Perhaps, if anything would reconcile us to g0-as-you-please six days walks it would be when they are got up by enthusiasts and experts, such as the O'Leary referred to, who ape from money considerations, has really a love for the sport, proved by his admirable training of the negro boy, x But Puck does not admire these walking matches, and if he may be allowed to express his opinion freely, he thinks them brutal, use- less, demoralizing and barbarous—in short, a lisgrace to any community which presumes to itself civilized. We are lovers of legitimate sport in every form. We can enjoy trials of strength and endurance by those who have undergone the proper training, provided the result is reached Pitkin a reasonable time. ‘The victors in such contests are not apt to injure themselves, The muscles are likely to be well developed and the training healthful, But what possible benefit can accrue to so- ciety from a six days walking match? Is it in- teresting to contemplate human misery and torture in its most acute form? Any one with ordinary feelings of humanity who witnessed the recent walk must have been deeply shocked, especially on the fifth and sixth days, at the spectacle of the wretched, jaded men who toiled around the track to the spasmodic tunes of a dyspeptic apology for a band. We have societies for the prevention of , cruelty to animals and children; but why haven't we a society to prevent cruelty to pe- destrians ? ~ It is no argument to say that these men enter into the competition of their own free will and accord with a full knowledge of the responsibilities, and the torture they must un- dergo. In the interests of society and humanity it ought not to be permitted, The Hindoo Fakir who impales himself for religious amusement, or who for the same rea- son breeds bugs in-his sleeping mat for months together that they may fasten like leeches to his naked body when he seeks his fevered rest, is not a desirable person to take pattern by. And wherein do such self-inflicted tortures differ from the cruelty in these walking matches? Weston is reported to be crazy, and his ex- traordinary antics would certainly lead one to suppose this to be the case. The boy Jackson had on his feet, when he retired from the track, blisters as large as one’s hand. The negro, Hart, sprained his ankle. Federmeyer, the wheelbarrow-man, was the picture of dazed despair. Guyon has a very excellent chance of being lamed for life, and everybody must have noticed the hectic flush on the cheek and the blood-shot eye of what is perhaps the wreck ofa man. Panchot did not permanently leave the track until his feet were reduced to a jelly, and even Rowell was said to be out of his head. So could we go on ad nauseam. With such a horrible picture as this before us, can anything be said in defense of six days walking matches? COAL FIRE OR HELL FIRE. The Rev. Dr. J. L. Lodge, of Jersey City Heights, thinks that a Sreman who fires up his locomotive on Sundays is a very wicked man indeed, and would certainly go to a place as- sociated with warmth if it had not been re- cently wiped off the maps. Mr. William Johnston is the fiend or fireman who does this awful thing, and purely out of spite and with malice aforethought, for it is done only to support such expensive luxu- ries as a wife and family. We do not propose to inquire into the true inwardness of Dr, Lodge's reasons for excom- municating Fireman Johnston, nor to make any reference to certain members of the Doctor's congregation who voted against increasing their pastor’s salary, but simply to ask by what authority Dr. Lodge forbids Johnston from working on Sunday. “I stand on the command,” says the reve- rend gentleman: “ ‘Thou shalt dono manner of work;on the Sabbath.’” Now what Pucx wants to know is, who gave this private information to Dr. Lodge, and in what sense is it binding? If the so-called command has no greater au- thority than Mr. Lodge's assertion,all we can say is: the man Johnston or anybody else need not heed it. But it is evident that Dr. Lodge and Mr. Johnston read the same text quite differently, for the fireman remembers the Sab- bath day simply to keep it coaly. Tuere’s about as much strength in barley t as in corn 1, Wuen the landlady puts up the price of board, the fourth floor back tenant performs the same operation with his watch. “Say, Johnny, what time is it?” “©Eleven o'clock and three laps.” And then Johnny got one lap—with a slipper. We advise Governor Robinson to deodorize the place in the Democratic party recently oc- cupied by Tammany, so as to make it habita- ble for decent men and independent Republi- cans, Puckerings. Mr. WOLTMANN oR Mr, ELLINGER will prob- ably serve as umpire on the next walking- match. AtrHouGH he offers ten cents on the dollar, Commissioner Wheeler has not a soul above buttons, ‘Tue Prime Minister of Russia is an old man, and he has Gort t’ shake off this mantle of flesh some day or other. Tuey are rebuilding Szegedin, Permit us to suggest that they add a new brown-stone high stoop and fanlight to the name. A Man in Bucyrus, O., killed a girl because she would not marry him. ‘Then he killed him- self. There was a good husband spoiled. THERE are extenuating circumstances in the case of Officer Gould, who clubbed Johanna Donovan. He thought she was the original young person who lived in Harlem, We may be getting this thing mixed up with some pedestrian news; but it seems to us that we heard a rumor that Mr, Cornell had paid the Hon. John Kelly to remain on the track. Conunprum.—Why is General Grant's resi- dence ahead of Sara Bernhardt on her own anatomical specialty? [N. B.—Out of respect for an outraged public, we omit the answer to this.] “A Wisconsin man has expectoraied an umbrella tip he swallowed in 1874”—or so an exchange tells us. This proves conclusively that even swallowing an umbrella won't keep it in the family. Some people are astonished that Gen, Butler should be able to sit down with Democrats at a Political feast, but they can see that it is natural that he should be fond of crow, if they will remember that he is rooster-eyed. Tue. Sun says that Spurgeon’s church em- ploys 80 colporteurs, who visit 75,000 families every month. This represents an average of 950,000 spoons and one silver ice-pitcher of which London must be short every four weeks, Tuenre is going to be a row in musical circles. Patti has imported a baritone by the name of Ciampicellaj with a final j, and if Wilhelmj doesn’t snatch that man's nomenclature bald- headed, he is not the man we take him for. Bisuop Porrer thinks that one tithe of the income of both the clergy and the laity should be devoted to Charity with a big C. We under- stand that the reverend bishop has given orders to his contribution-box operators to shut down. on the dime and half-dime rackets. Messrs. Puiip LaBaR AND WALTER BARBER, Princeton students, were committed to jail in Trenton, the other day, for a filthy and un- mentionable prank. Dr. McCosh is understood to be writing another articl@ for one of the reviews, on ‘Specific Holiness as a Means of Grace.” NOTICE. —— The Numbers 4, 5, 6, 11, 18, 15, 24, 25, 28, 70, 87 88 and 108 of Puck will be bought at this office, No. 21 & 23 Warren St, at 10 CENTS per copy} and Numbers 9,14, 26, 56, 58 and 85 | 26 CEN'TS per copy. comicbooks.cemm