Puck — August 20, 1879 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ge PUCK. 881 A CONFUSION OF CHANDLERS, How San Francisco ENTERTAINED A JUGGLER. Mr. Wittiam E, Cxanper, the Secretary of the National Republican Committee, arrived last Wednesday, and the next morning Mr. W. E, Chandler, an Eastern acrobat and jug- gler, also reached this city from Chicago to fill an engagement at Woodward’s Gardens, Last evening our State Central Republican Com- mittee tendered the former distinguished poli- tician a dinner at the Palace Hotel, and fourteen well-known politicians said that never in the whole course of their career had they been called upon to do justice to an occasion more fraught with, etc. etc. Eleven heavy capi- 4 talists felt proud of the opportunity of extend- . ing a characteristic California welcome to one 4 whose eminent services, etc., etc. Eight edi- Al tors remarked that as what had been already # said had been on the whole so well said, they felt that nothing remained to them but to join THERE are no swear words in the Sioux lan- guage, it is said. But don’t let your sympathy go out to the poor red man on that account. He doesn’t feel the loss of them. When any- thing doesn’t please him—when, after carefully sharpening his lead-pencil the point snaps off —instead of relieving himself with a string of oaths, he mutters two or three Serebie ooking five-story words with bay windows and mansar roofs, and rushes out and scalps a pale face. This soothes his angry feelings just as effectually as if he had all the profanity of the English language at his command.— Norristown Herald, Here is a recipe for making a Russian pea- sant’s coat. Take an old tattered blue dressing- gown and use it twice as a mop to clean up a stable-floor. Next rub wheel-grease into the lower half, and let it dry black and hard in the sun, Next sprinkle the upper half with hard lard and candle droppings, not forgetting to give the sleeves a double quantity. Next wipe off a street-crossing with it thoroughly, choosing Acrostic by the Poet Laureate. eerful tidings! Chills are banished! Wiail elastic strength and youth! Into naught our woes are vanished, ‘Noise abroad the glorious trucht that fong did grieve us, ‘ilehefahetl,ghealy tala, ike routed afmy leave ts ‘Youth regenerate lives, Pain and ret no more Bape taeoContlg f Up ie ag of Chinkalypon druggists far Te, Chiakatypece ‘a at up in neat die-struck tin boxes containing gt a ct PW eu 15 family. ck en. Mavcun & Parare, Whelztale Agents, New et Om Persons afflicted with diseases of the eyes can find no grealer curative than PONDS EXTRACT, There are no harsh ‘and irritating drugs in its composition, so that it can be used in any case without the least danger of injury to the most delicate organism. It has astrangely marvelous power to arrest and re- move inflammation. It affords relief upon the first application, and producing the bost results when its use is continued. Beware of imitations. Ask for Ponn’s Exrract—take no other. sah ANGOSTURA BITTERS, ‘Tonio of exquisite favor now ‘cures Dy Diarrhea, in extending the right hand of fellowship to one | , particularl dy day f i ly muddy day for the trial, Next whose signal abilities, etc. wet it with cabbage soup (the favorite food of | SF akon SAP each Soars, Ohare i} j ‘Then the guest of the evening replied: the peasants), and tear several holes in its sur- } $Y. | “Gentlemen—my dear boys: I really am-er —knocked endways by this way up blow out. You do me proud. I’ve-er—hearn that you California feller treated Booth and Jefferson and them big bugs of the perfesshun bang up, i) but I didn’t know that you came out so allfired strong on us variety people. However, I claim to de “The Only Chandler,” and I can get away with any man in my line of business that walks on legs. There ain't one of ’em kin keep four. cannon balls in the air at the same time— not one, I know. There's that little Dutch- man—Klopheimer—who bills to do my hoop contortion act, but he’s a fraud, gents—a _per- fect fraud. ‘The hoop he crawis through with a glass of water balanced on his nose is just the same size as mine, I admit, but then it is a rubber hoop, and I can prove it. I’m going 4 to have a benefit next Saturday evening, and I hope you'll all come. Only six bits for reserved seats, I will now pass around the table with the tickets,” The guests quietly but firmly lit out.—San Francisco Post, ‘Tuere is a new sect in Russia, which holds that it is a great sin for people to shake hands with each other. - If hat ceremony is per- formed with the sdft of sincerity it often has among Christians, we are not sure but the new sect is about right.—Boston Courier. Ir gives a man a vivid conception of the hollowness of all earthly things when he sees the commander of a barber shop with a head as barren as the bottom of a wash-bowl, and then reads his name on a bottle of hair invig- orator warranted to produce hyperion curls on a bald head in three months.—Syracuse Times. Ricuarp Grant Wuite says the expression “He is going for to go” is incorrect. Richard is too particular. We suppose he would also object to the remark, “You git right up and 4 git right out and ‘git.’" And yet the fellow to 7 whom it was addressed would understand it as || quickly as if you were to.sling two pages of a grammar at him.— Norristown Herald, a Cot. Bos INGERSOLL is a most remarkable | SOZODONT. For a perfect mouth there is no recipe like the : i] man in many respects. His oratory displays SISOZODONT. Consequently a no wender that the populaney feSetawmen Doneomen eon? ee area i| keen wit and tender pathos. His diction is | of SOZODONT ss » dentifrice has no bounds. AU Dress | OOQQ BROADWAY 909 1} 4 grand, and his color and imagery ripe with | *epit. Near 20th Street, Hl Oriental richness, He can move an audience to smiles or tears as he wishes, but at the same time, when he is drawing on a tight boot, and his toe works through the bow of his stocking and sends it flying up around his ankle, he gets 4 about as mad as any man who is no more bril- face. Finally let your dog sleep in it for two years.—/, L. Stoddard in Bangor Commercial, We arise from the Pullman couch after the orter has helped drag off the blanket. It has long been a question in my mind whether the Pullman blankets arestuffed or weather-boarded. I think now they must be built on the plan of the Victoria bridge. The one I slept under last night was an inch and a half thicker than a Miller platform, and just about as elastic. When the porter folded it up, he had to go out- side, lay it on the rail, an let the train run over it to make a crease in it, When you cover up with one, you think you have drawn the drapery of a plank sidewalk about you, or else covered yourself up with a wharf-boat or the side of a frame house, All last night I dreamed I was a turtle, a sea- turtle, one of the tortoise-comb denomination, and that I had caught cold in my shell and couldn't bend it.— Hawkeye. “THE NEW JUDEA.” “THE PAPAL FARM.” “Hints for the Jews,” “Several Ways of getting to Manhattan Beach.” To meet the demand for the above Cartoons, new Editions of “Puck” Nos. 123 and 125 have been published. Copies can be had from all Newsdealers, SOZODONT. To preserve the teeth and keep them pure and white, to prevent their decay, there is no preparation in the market equal to SOZODONT. To preserve the gums in a natur- ally hard and healthy condition, there is no superior to SOZO- DONT. . To purify and sweeten the breath there is no rival to Beware of Counterfelts and Imitations! BOKER’S BITTERBS. ‘The best Stomach Bitters known, cont able medicinal propertics inall cases of Bowel compl fic against Dyspepsia, Fever and Ague, coral to teal Wesker pce ie fa ato ose Sisiog ‘ich other cordial, wined, Be.” Comparatively the G. H. MUMM & CO.'S CHAMPAGNE, importation 1x 1878 35,906 Cases, or 16,270 cases more than of any othér brand. German Liederkranz- GRAND SEASIDE CONCERT SUMMERNIGHT’S FESTIVAL, Thursday, August 21, 1879, at SEA BEACH PALACE, Coney Island, Commencing at § o'clock v.at, Concert, by fall male chorus of the Society and Orchestra, at 8 pt, Dancog at tors. Orchestra sad tte Promenade Hand,” Brillant Umination and Decor tig ofthe Palace. “Great Pyrotechate Display fnistton, for: non-members. proper chiatned « Broad St; Fr. Hollender, Staats: Mostar Bagh St; H.C. PF. Mohenthalt cor Third A sad St.; at st, the office ‘fice of the Sca Beach Palace, and from Members of the ‘Trains and boats, So va Be Ridge, by N. _ 8 Sea Beach RJ via Locust Grove, by the Brook iy, Ba ‘& Coney Islai on Pler by the Gost ofthe Ocezs Steam al ight Tn caseof unfavorable weather CARAMELS A SPECIALTY R EXCE! Large assortment of ; pact than the roof of a chicken-coop.—-¥. ¥. COMME, be, ae ges, 2.0, Bex 1029, 78 Joba St, N.Y.:| vavens rot SUE GEESE } far. =. . j ‘WITTY CEN REWS STANDS, THE TRADE SUPPLIED BY THE Just out: TWO NOSES FOR SALE. ***: JEWS AND JEWISH VES RICAN EWS COMPANY, Mow York: comicbooks.com