Puck — August 13, 1879 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LOVE'S SPELLS. Y love was lovelier than the dawn, _ And fairer than the rose; She'd golden hair and deep blue eyes, ad gia watts Cart og My horrid business held me fast: a sould not leave my home, je the gentle, ‘With her I el ek Yet I bade cruel fortune grim ‘Her direst woes to wreak, For well I knew my love would write ‘A letter every week. Ob, wretched day when came the post! Her letter proved ino prize. She never crossed’a single /, ‘And did not dot her 's; Bat worse, far worse, than all of that—= Her shame how can tell? . fairer than all Vassar girls, My darling could not spell! Such trifles as a dot or cross You easily pass by, You even do not groan much o'er Belittling of the i; Bat when she writes I-u-v, love, It takes away your breath, And it doesn’t cheer your heart to read, « My deer, I’m yours til deth.” ‘You can forgive a d braid, A tooth or two that’s false, ‘And love her if she walk awry, Or stumble in the waltz; But when she writes of I-u-v, Seem somehow out of gear. I wrote unto my darling love That we at once must part, ‘Although I feared the loss of her Would burst my throbbing heart. ‘And yet I frankly said to her, diregurd oy ot Websters rl Such of Webster's rules, Sach spelling in a wife.” If I'd been born in olden days, ‘When every one spelled queer, I might have borne such ignorance In one I-held so dear; But as this world is now made up, © Why this T know quite well, Till find, before I take a wife, ‘A woman who can spell. | ARTHUR Lor. WATERING-PLACE, THE NEW [Puck's CorrespONDENCE.] New Amsteapaxt, Aug. 11th, 1879. Tue season is now fairly at its height, and those who-can manage to tear themselves away from Newport and toga, to spend two or three weeks here, will add considerably to their fashionable reputation, for it is indeed quite the Correct Ki-bosh to saunter along the picturesque Broadroad, view the noble telegraph poles, and listen to Zolian-! melodies caused by gentle dalliance of the zephyrs with the wires. Then the ever-moving throng of summer visitors, all enjoying the pure air and drinking in the exhi- larating coup d’ceil presented on this marvelous and unrivalled avenue is an attraction in itself. Another exquisite drive is in the famous Midland Forest, although, strange to say, it has not of late been Hiuch Reguented by equipages or equestrians. On Sunday, however, very large numbers of visitors, as pedestrians avail themselves of its sylvan shades, where they wile the time on the noble crafts that sail on the eat Caspian of the forest and are tossed about by its foaming billows. Another important feature of the season here is the number of large steam yachts that rendez- vous at New Amsterdam. The love of the sport and the enterprise of the owners may be judged from. the. fact. that Mr..Cunard’s steam yacht PUCK:-. ‘Gallia” has just returned from a trip across the Atlantic with a large y on board, and, it is whispered, it will again make the voyage. _. Mr/ Inman, it is also stated, will follow Mr. Cunard’s example on an early date, His vessel is spoken of in high terms, Polo is not much in favor here, but a very good substitute has been found in the game called Stocko. Bulls and Bears are used instead of mustangs. Two or three hundred gentlemen have formed themselves into clubs, The Stocko greand is situated at the angle of Broad and ‘all Avenues, and is well adapted for the in- tended purpose. Mr. Jay Gould, Mr. Vander- bilt and Mr. Keene have already fine stables of the best breeds of bulls and bears, and practice matches are taking place daily in the presence of crowds of spectors. A match between the Western Unions and Union Pacifics is announced for next week. There has already been considerable betting ‘on the event, and the result is looked fo to with much interest. Among the notabilities now here are Mayor Cooper, of New York, who-has a handsome cottage on Avenue V. Police Commissioners Wheeler, Erhardt and Smith, also of New York, are his guests, and are ‘said to be enjoying them- selves immensely. Thé portly figure of the Hon. John Kelly, the well-known President of the N, Y. Tammany Private Benevolent Asso- ciation; is cai prominent:on Broadroad, He looks remarkably well, and one would never think that his approaching nomination for Gov- ernor of the State troubled him in the least. Mrs. Bridget Mahony, the only really aristo- cratic lady at presenl Tesiding on Avenue V, gave, durin, ¢ absence at Newport of some other members of the family, a recherché supper. Whiskey flowed abundantly, and the guests had the full run of the house. The visitors comprised Mr, Tim Finnegan and Mr. Paddy O’Rafferty, of the Avenue VIII. R. R.; Mr. Phil Fogerty, of the Street Cleaning Bureau; Mr. Micky Lafferty, of the Boule- yards, The lovely and accomplished Miss Norah McShane, the beautiful and talented Mary O'Shaughnessy, and the queenly and cul- tured Miss Patsy Eringobragh, all of Avenue V. basement) were among those who graced the wing-room of Mrs. Bridget Mahony with their presence. Gore. * The Manhattan Beach Crusade has called forth several pamphlets on the subject. One of them is entitled “The American Hebrew” by H. N. Eaton, and consists largely of ex- tracts from newspapers. Our Hebrew fellow citizens certainly needed no defence—and if they did, we don’t think the ‘American He- brew” would do much to help them. Besides, the subject, which ought never to have been raised is now almost forgotten: AMUSEMENTS. We have spoken several times in praise of the Mapison Square GaRvEN. It is now our turn to find fault. The programme is not at all the Correct Ki-bosh in programmes, Itlikes | us not in the matter of selections, If Mr, Dodworth knew only how much more popular he'd make the place by Playing three or four good tuneful waltzes nightly, he wouldn't hesi- tate fora moment. Half a dozen piano and cornet solos, with “collocations,” are altogether teo much for one’s patience. Haverty's has the distinction of being the only theatre open in the city. The real negro minstrels are worth seeing and hearing. Answers for the Anrious. Hasg.tive.—She gets $1,000 every year. Jams S. CaskeT.—You undertake too much in your attempts at humor. Cutantey.—When Noah invited the last animal in the procession to enter the Ark, he called in your joke along with it. YAPHANK, JR.—We sympathize with your yearning to board free at Saratoga; but we respectfully decline your «« Watering-place Correspondence.” F, J. G—Léaves have their time to fall; but the injus dicious people who send in jokes on the Jew business at Manhattan Beach seem to know no period suitable for tumbling to themselves. Wity G.—Willy, sweetest, does old man G. know you are writing poetry? Because if he did, he would probably put you on a Steady diet of trunk strap thay might subdue the frenzy of your muse, to a certain ex- tent. Tell him, Willy. : ALTHEA ARONSON.—We are awfully sorry that your isbaby brother died’?; but we don’t see that there is any good and sufficient reason why you should tell us of it ff iambic verse one foot and a half short in the backstroke: ‘We suppose your heart is “‘an empty, aching void"; all we can do is to advise you t6 fil it with some other girl’s “baby brother"—a good, healthy baby brother, about eighteen years old, with a moustache expected, He'll lighten up the situation, Miss Aronson. ViaTor.—We will put you “in” with pleasure. Naw York, Aug. 11th, 1679. To Pucn—"*free.”” . bi When is a miner depressed? ‘When he has a load (lode) on his mind. ‘What is the longest poem on record? Ode (owed) toa tailor! jolfau think they are good encugh put ‘em in and Iwill ook ut ‘PURELY ORIGINAL, : Viren, Young man, you require no comment at our hands, All there is for you to dois to die—quietly, unobtrisively; ‘SFEOM