Puck — July 30, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. PUCK. Nos. 21 & 28 WARREN STREET. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms Jo Supscripers In the United States and Canada. One Copy, six or One Copy for thirteen weeks...... dn England and all Countries One Copy, one year, or $2 sumbers . One Copy, six months, or 36 numbers One Copy, three months, or 13 numbers nce Tknustearep & Busmeess Maw SPECIAL NOTICES. Remittances by Mone y Order, etc., are to be addressed to KEPPLER & SCHWARZMANN. ‘We cannot undertake to return rected communications, and to this rule no exception. inte 0 casa’ Charicg Crows ant ote cok COMPANY rs, Bouvere UEM'S, ‘12 Boulevard Avenue d Lfpag, Berlin HENRY st THE INTE Fleet Street te Paste at TER jere, and on file at the ‘ Heral i in'Cermany at FLA. DROCKHAUS'S. a ry eal naan Z CONTENTS. Corbin’s Boomerang. He Would Go to the Country— U;S,takes the Stuting out of] re joc s 6 Post (poem) — Im Pocuznincs. me Moses on Corbin. A Summer Pilgrimage— Arthur .| Pucks Condensed Novels—IV. Telephonograms. Literary Notes. Amusements. ‘Axswans ron Te Axxo: ‘Ancuts Gascore— Joba Fraser Puck's Excnancrs. CORBIN’S BOOMERANG. 6691S it hot enough for you, Mr. Corbin? “Tf it isn’t, it will be soon.” For if everaman, with the thermometer in the upper nineties, went in for a still greater heat, this absurd Corbin has done so. He has tried to sit down on the Jews. This little feat has been attempted in many countries for many centuries, but, at latest ac- counts, it had not succeeded, And Mr. Corbin, with his little bank, and his railroad, and his hotel, seems to have sat down—not upon the Jews—but upon himself, Puck cares nothing for race, creed or na- tionality; and this question ‘is considered in relation to its pronounced antagonism to every pr inciple upon which the fathers founded the epublic, What is the use of allowing every man freedom in his religious ideas if you refuse him permission to eat his clam at any end of Coney Island he prefers? ‘All men free and equal,” quotha! What benefit is it to us that we are f. and e., if we can’t get a dusty ride to Manhattan Beach and pay several prices for what we could get better on Broadway ? But the cheek of Corbin! He is playin; himself as a tail on Judge Hilton’s kite; an he wants to be bigger than the kite itself. Hil- ton was content with closing his tavern against the children of Israel: but Mr. Corbin desires to close the gates of his railway, his hotel, his Jew music-blower, and the free Atlantic Ocean to the Je ieee But "t do it. The American eagle has screeched in his ears, and Mr. Corbin 2 pine New Sextes, 7m)—M. F, (poem) — La Creme des Chroniques.—Leo © Evans. out that he-cannot set himself up against. pub- lic opinion. There are Jews.in Ludlow Street, and there are Jews on Fifth Avenue, There are Irish in Jackson Street and ‘there are Irish on Murray Hill: abe Jews and ihe Irish iin isadlow and Jack- son Streets, ate, to’ put it ‘mildly, v hasty. _ But suppose MiCorbin were 1Siieo re his silly manifesto, ‘refusing admission \to his Coney Ie land'caravanserai to a// the Irish some of. them were nasty, would he now’be alive? But the Jews are a patient people, and Cor- bin still lives, When the admission to a public place in this country depends upon the shape of one’s nose, then Liberty will lie bleeding. But let her lie: so long as Corbin is satisfied. Elsewhere we suggest how Corbin can so carve his customers as to make them welcome at his part of Coney. When a man goes in for gratuitous advertis- ing, he ought to aim at making himself popu- lar, But if Mr. Corbin ever had any ambition to become the President of these United States, he has taken a step very ill calculated to en- hance his chances as a successful candidate. Unknown a week ago, he is to-day, if anything, a little too well known. Corbin issued his manifesto. It was a boomerang. And, naturally, it recoiled and hit nobody but Corbin. S. TAKES THE STUFFING OUT OF J. B. HE popular fancy of John Bull is that he is a jolly old cock, bursting with fun and good living; while Uncle uel is a lean, cadaverous individual, whittling a stick as thin as himself, and spitting all strength out of his life in spurts of tobacco-juice. This has been the popular fancy; but the facts which every mail from Europe proves tell a very different story. For it is U.S. who is the fat and jolly fellow, and it is J. B. who is getting decidedly cadaverous. For while Eng- lish farms are sterile, the great growing places of America are waving with luxuriant grain to feed aworld. While in England the farmer finds it useless to grow crops which only give him “hardly ever” enough to pay the rent to the owner of the land, in America, so to speak, the vacant lands are holding out their hands to be cultivated. What is the reason? In the agricultural parts of England there is no middle class, The rich are too rich: they own a// the land. The poor are too poor: they work the land, but cannot own it. Money won't buy it. The iand- owners, dukes, barons, shoddy lords, and all the British system of aristocracy, ‘go in” for land; and the farmer finds that his year’s labor leaves him worse off in pocket at the 31st of December than he was on the previous 1st day of January. He has no money to spend for improvements, fertilizers, the wonderful farming inventions of Yankee genius—so he growls, his farm becomes more and more sterile, and— England sends to America for food. Which is very jolly for U. S., but very flabber- garsting to J. B. In this country there are no land-HOLDERs as a. class, and the man who wants a dozen or ten thousand acres of land can buy it if he has the money. It ishis, Every dollar he expends upon it, he expends upon his own property. Here is encouragement; and the result is that the broad ocean is filled with ships conveying fat beef, cargoes of grain, holds-full of butter and cheese, not to mention such little delicacies as American fruits and American fish, oysters and lobsters, A very esteemed contemporary of ours re- cently tinted to the British farmer that he must either give over farming or emigrate to America. But what is he to do if he declines to accept the alternative? He can’t go into the great mechanical industries of Birmingham or.Man- chester, or labor in the ‘black country.” There, already, the workers are starving and “striking,” because American industry, skill and invention are sending knives to Sheffield and cotton goods to Manchester. Clearly, then, if Mr. J. B. would regain his bursting, old-time rotundity, he must came over to U.S. and be put through a course of Banting on the American plan, Parkerings. Goop jokes should be, like persimmons, Puckery. Retroussé and German noses are in lively demand. Samuet J. Titpen sympathizes with the Jews. Wasn't he one of the chosen Tue locomotives of the elevated roads, like all good Injins, are ever on the T rail, ALTHOUGH they all desired the distinction formerly, now no ocean watering-place is will ing to be pier-less, Cuastine Cox thinks this diversion of public interest to the Jews an infringement on his prerogatives of popularity. ‘THE reason why so many of the stories de- tailed in the Parisian newspapers appear to be so good is because they are X told. Fruit of long investigation, Here's another rhyme to Corbin, ’Tis perhaps his inspiration— Bourbin! Tue hotel managers at Coney Island have so many things of a saline nature around them that they think they must salt their music, and so, twice a day, they cornet. A man has been drowned at Manhattan Beach, Mr. Jacobson, of Chatham St., casually remarks that Corbin is already beginning to feel the finger of Providence. Some bad man has written to us to give the reason that Christ was born in a manger. He says it was because Mary was a Jewess, and the Corbins of the period wouldn't udmit her to their hotels, ‘THERE was a young fellow of Jewry Said: ‘ Corbin’s a brute and a boor, he Would shut from my reach Manhattan's fair Beach, Which was my great holiday luxury. He set a ham sandwich upon his head, Garnished with pettitoes, And a sausage he hung So it gracefully swung From the curl of his crescent nose, And thus accoutred he gaily said: “T will do it beyond a doubt!” 4 And he played on a whistle made out of the tail Of a pig, as he went to the beach by rail, And got promptly and sternly fired out. THERE was a director named Corbin Who thought that the Jews were absorbin’ Too much space at Manhattan, And so‘them he sat on In a way they had never before bin. Mr. Corin of Manhattan Beach has patented a new nose-guage, by which the Jewness of all guests is to be tested, ‘The apparatus is neat and simple, and in shape like this: If people who are not Jews will wear noses that are not the correct Gentile Ki-bosh, aoe must put up with the consequences, omicbooks.com