Puck — July 30, 1879 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. PUCK’S CONDENSED NOVELS. (Continued from page 327.) “Young fellow,” said he, ‘you'd better git.”” Rupert Fromageit thought that advice was: sound and took it. Dan placed’ Agnes in the carriage and drove home. As he left her at the door she rewarded him with a look, He looked down through her eyes into her heart, and saw his image; he: knew that in his own heart her image cxisted; slowly he daove the horses to the stable; as he sprang to the side- walk he exclaimed, ‘I'll ask her to-morrow night!” ‘ Cuarter VII. “ Ring the merry bells aboard ship." —Gmaerr.. One week after that eventful night the inha- bitants of Allen Street were astonished by the sounds of reveling in the goldbeater’s house. Agnes, the lovely goldbeater’s daughter, was married to Dan, the gallant livery-stable man, When, in his palatial mansion on Fifth Avenue, Rupert Fromageit read in the Daily Bladder the wedding notice of the happy pair, he gnashed his teeth in agony. TELEPHONOGRAMS. WAR AGAINST JEWRY! LATEST FROM THE SEAT OF WAR. PRECAUTIONS TAKEN. A SLIGHT SKIRMISH. ALL QUIET ALONG THE LINES. ‘THE GUNBOAT IKEY MOSES. MANHATTAN Beach Hore, Monday, 10 A.at, Field-Marshal Austin Corbin, who ‘has as- sumed command of the forces, has taken pre- cautions to guard against surprise, as a large column of Jews, in Boyton life-suits, is reported to be advancing on the Hotel, by way of Jeru- salem and Madagascar, to capture the building, Pavilion and balloon. Heavy pieces of ordnance have been placed beyond the ropes in the Surf, and are loaded to the muzzle, Waiters are all armed with revolvers and have received instruc- tions to shoot on the spot any man whom they think is a Jew, ; 1 PM, Five swarthy individualswho had the temerity to order luncheon will have no more board-bills to pay, the bullets hitting the bull’s-eyes of their hearts, The waiter apologized when he dis- covered that four of the party were Cubans, and the other Aristarchi Bey. The bodies are now on view at a charge of a dollar ahead, The verdict of the jury was unavoidable homicide. 3 AM, General Corbin has just honorably discharged, for color blindness, a waiter who was just about shooting Fred Douglas, whom he mistook for a Jew. 3:10 AM, The waiter has been re-instated, Mr. Douglas accepting his apology. 5PM. A mysterious individual, enveloped in a cloak, has just arrived, and has seated himself at a table in a retired part of the piazza. 535 P.M. He has ordered for dinner: Pork and beans; cold ham; eggs and bacon, pigs, pudding, pork: pie, sucking pig and pigs’ feet. Notwithstanding the un-Heb: of; the order, it is strongly suspected:gbagghe thys- pthe ‘spain roy: terious individual is one of the race'to, whom Corbin objects. ‘ §:20 P.M, The suspicion. amounts almost to a certainty. General Corbin has this instant caught a glimpse of the party’s nase. 5:30 P.M. Captain Curtin, of the Manhattan Beach police, has arrested the individual, on the charge of being a Jew and trying to conceal the fact by calling for a swine dinner. He turns out to be a Chatham Street clothier named Solomon Cohen, 5:45 P.M. A court-martial has been called to try Solo- mon Cohen. Field-Marshall Corbin is Pre- sident, OPM. The sentence of the court is that he be put in a barrel of brine and sold in the Produce Exchange as pork, at market rates 6:15 P.M. The packing process is completed, and the package has been shipped. by Manhattan Beach Railroad to New York. 7PM. Field-Marshall Corbin’s outposts have been driven in. Great excitement and alarm in con- sequence. ‘The men report that a strong ad- vance guard of Jews, debouching from Flat- bush, overcame them with clouds of tobacco- smoke from the strongest cabbage‘leaf cigars. Few of Corbin’s men will recover, The'entire Manhattan Beach Garrison is now under arms, 7330 P, M. A man-of-war has just been signaled off the Pavilion. She is not yet made out, but is feared to be an enemy. Corbin has swum off to re- connoitre, TUESDAY, 6 A. M, Last night was a quiet one, the threatened Hebrew attack not being made. The man-of war before referred to is now in full view. TO A.M, Several sharpshooters are now coming in, They report very-successful sport, and had picked off some fine specimens of plump He- brew game who were bathing off Brighton. IDA. M. A Jewish prisoner's life has been spared on condition of his becoming a target for the rifle practice of the Manhattan Garrison. Mr. Nast has drawn on the prisoner’s stomach an elegant bull’s-eye, which has received the high- est encomiums from art critics, 12 NOON. Field-Marshall Corbin, accompanied: by a ‘Puck ‘reporter, with a flag of truce, boarded the gunboat “Ikey Moses.” ‘They were well received. This war-vessel is the property of the Rothschilds, who dispatched her to Man- hattan Beach, on the declaration of war by Corbin. ©. - } The following is the list of the principal of- ficers; Captain Abraham Isaac Jacobs: Lieuts. Reuben Simeon Levi and Judah Issachar Ze- bulon; Navigating Lieut. Dan ‘Gad Ascher, The Puck. teportér and» General Corbin‘ re- ceived a ki welcome, * Gaptain’, Jacobs seated that be gare ucuons wero ap blow with i pounder. pivot-gun, lanhattan Beach’ Hotel into Dienmiddle of\next week, in the event of its still continuing to exclude the clo’..religionists of: the Rothschilds. General Corbin’ said he'd tike a little time to consider the conditions, A GAsithe reporter and General Corbin pas seAs:the re, G rbin passed ‘tottheir gig over the:side of the vessel to return, to the hotel, Captain Jacobs was:heard giving orders to “‘ splish th¢' main brashe” and “stow sh," evidences ofthe intention of the Ikey Moses “to remain off Manhattan Beach until its demands are complied with. LITERARY NOTES, The Toronto Weekly Graphic, formerly the Gossiper, is a bright and pleasant paper, and we are always glad tosee it. O. P. Dildock has acquired quite a reputation by his many witty paragraphs. Part five of John Russell Young’s “Around the World with General Grant,” published by the American NewsCompany, has appeared. It is handsomely illustrated and contains plenty of entertaining reading. We must continue to recommend this work to aspiring Presidential candidates, in order that they may know just what to see and how to see it. AMUSEMENTS. We have little to say with regard to Koster and Bial’s famous Concert HALL, except to advise everybody to go there as often as possi- ble—or oftener, if possible—and listen to ex- cellent music, played in the best possible man- ner, The electric light and Dodworth’s Band con- tinue to make the Mapison Square GARDEN a most desirable place of resort,. Miss McGeachy and Signor Rosnati divide the honors in vocal- ization., Mr, Pease and Miss Markstein rival each other in'manipulating the keys of the piano, and. Signor Liberati and Mr. Bowen have a great deal to say on the cornet, much to their audiences’ satisfaction. By the way, we ought to mention that the programme is well got up, is full of extracts from the best comic papers,:and is published by Messrs. Warden and North, Answers Foy the Anrious, Hasewtine.—Fold her hands upon her breast. J. S. L—We take the liberty of reprinting a letter which you need not be ashamed of: — Broapway, ‘ To the Editor of Pucx—Sir: Woe Jay stb 9 anuly joan Sonsecobes to bok bce 1 wend deed tc oka coninbie all smonat this wie and children 1 John Sanderson, Mr. J. S. L., was merely a figure- head, He does not exist, save as the representative of many others. That is, John Sanderson is not his name; but he is multitudinous all the same—multitudinous and miserable, We used him solely to do just what he has done—to touch the hearts of honestly charitable men like yourself, and to put to shame the cheaply senti- mental charity that is anointing the martyr Gilman with its gush. Mr. John Sandérson seems to have done his perfect work; and we haye only to compliment you on your letter, and to’Rint'to all others that there are plenty of Sandersons ta‘be found'n and out of States-Prison. H, C.neHere you arey’; the Editor of bY Ty alors Hr aieh (the “Jewish Colonization Sch a ice in your! ‘ you have all the "t Hebrew symbols * excepting the one which is most essential, viz,, you have omitted to put the Mezuzoth on the door of Superintendent's House. Please state why this omission, ‘or does Superintendent Belong to the "Reform"? Answer through your columas and oblige, aes Savannah, Ga. We wish you to understand, young man from Savan- ‘nah, that when we go to drawing Jew pictures we give you the whole hog—no, we don’t mean exactly that, either, Bot you may be sure that Mr, Keppler. knéw what a Mezuzoth is, and that, as it was essential to the picture, he put it in,-.<The Mezuzoth is a litle jiggerma- rigger stuck inside the door-post, so thata man may kiss it as he goes in. If you want to kiss that Mezuzoth, you will find it inside that door-post. Suppose you go and find it, young man.