Puck — July 2, 1879 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. RHADAMANTHUS AND CHARLES. 1% My name is Rhadamanthus Pratt, My art is that of an Acrobat. I can stand like this and never pant. And this is Charles, my Ele- phant. 3 And because I make so free with his spine, He rests his fairy feet upon mine. Whereat my pleasure is evident, And it pleases Charles, my Ele- 23 phent. 7 5+ And then I bend in a graceful way, Like boys, when leap-frog or par they play. You should see how quickly he takes the hint— The intelligent Charles, my Ele- phint. L Again he lies, so nice and square, While I make paraboles in the air. 1am not incommoded, no more he ain’t, My associate Charles, my Ele- phaint, 2. T love Charles, and Charles loves me. I can do a flyer over he. And he wags his tail with a cheerful grunt Of pleasure, does Charles, my Elephunt. & Sometimes I stand and do not stoop, While he obligingly through a hoop. Then I treat him to fritters and Sozodont, Which are healthy for Charles, my Elephont. jumps 6. And then, while he gallops around the ring, I sit on the end of his back and sing. I find it a pleasant little jaunt, And it's nothing to Charles, my Elephaunt. 8. And therefore I'm called Rha- damanthus Pratt, And now I am going to pass the hat. We are agile, and rarely get out 4 of joint— 7 Neither I nor Charles, my Ele- phoint. 66623 ORMTI ERMIT me on my bended knee My heart's sweet passion to exhale, ‘A passion that for years has throbbed Within my bosom’s secret pale. “T love you with a love that's blind, T love you with a love that sees, I love you with a love that’s deaf— In short, with any love you please."” “With any love I please, you say? Well then, my pleasure I'll avow: With that which little brothers feel For older sisters. Twigest thou ?” D. Ix Dexter. Froraxce, Italy, May 25, 1879. A REJECTED ADVERTISEMENT. HE. following advertisement, not being strictly in our line of business, was re- fused admission to our advertising col- umns; but, at the earnest request of several highly esteemed citizens, who contemplate em- bezzling, murdering, or otherwise doing the fashionable irregular in the immediate future, we insert it, without money and without price, in our editorial columns: MICKEY MORTON, Owner of the Sidewhcel Schooner * Frank Atwood.” A 1, Copper-bottomed, with plenty of brass. Criminals conveyed from any prison with neatness, secrecy and dispatch. Hacks furnished at a moment's notice, and sleepy policemen guaranteed. N.B, Scaling ladders furnished ; walls broken through} disguises, male and female, provided at the lowest market rates, Caution. No connection with the Mulberry Street concern, To THE PuBtic WHO ARE IN PRISON: The undersigned refers with pride to the manner in which he got away with Bill Tweed and Sharkey, the murderer; and although Tweed ‘was recaptured, it was only after he had quitted the sacred zgis of the undersigned. Would also refer to Red Leary, but as the authorities have not found out the matter as yet, the un- dersigned would prefer to wait till some re- porter gives it to the public, As this line of rapid transit from justice is expensive, only parties of wealth can be accom- modated. Faro and keno always on board, with the finest brands of champagne and bran- dies—and funds supplied to victims—on se- curity. M. M. has business connections with wardens, deputy-wardens, jailors and police, by which he can guarantee success in any operation he undertakes. No case taken under $1,000. Parties not able to raise. that amount should not expect to experience the delights of freedom, To them the undersigned would remark that the “law must take its course.” Unhappy husbands, with “affinities,” who desire to “mysteriously disappear,” will be treated with confidentially, at special rates. a%s Terms, Cash. A retainer of $500 expected in every case. Apply, by confidential friend, to the under- signed, who may be found in any Broadway Gambling Hell. Respectfully, Mickey Murray. The only comment we have to make upon the above may be gleaned from the conversa- tion we had with the would-be advertiser. “Can you do all you promise?” we asked. « Well, you bet!” was the reply; “have you got any friends, murderers or burglars, or the like, in the Tombs or Ludlow?” We confessed to the paucity of our friends of that kidney, and asked him: “But the authorities—aren’t they liable to block your game at any moment?” “Wott1 Did they block Tweedy ?—did they block Sharkey ?—did they block Re—? No matter; so long’s they git their little racket (an’ I'm the man wot divvies liberal), don’t you fear but I'll keep all the promises I make for the money.” Bia nial comicbooks.com