Puck — July 2, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. PUCK. Nos. 21 & 28 WARREN STREET. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Janus To Sunscriszrs. SPECIAL NOVICES. y Order, ete. be addressed ac Tp Ramisanezs by Money Order, ete. ae to to ‘We cannot undertake to return rejected communications, and to this rule we can make no exception, ‘Pocx is on Sale in London, at the News'Agency of Messrs. HENRY F. GILLIG & CO., 449, Strand, Charing Cross, and at THE INTERNATIONAL NEWS COMPANY, 11, Bouverie Street, Fleet Street; in Paris, at TERQUEM'S, 12 Boulevard Poissonniere, and on file at the ““ Herald" Office, 49 Avenue de VOpera. CONTENTS. A Rejected Advertisement. ‘Anode (poea- Ta RECOVERY OF THE Morar ASign ‘Ormtaxo. ‘of the Seasoa—illus. ‘Our Street-Cleaning System.— at ju em. Rhymes of the Day. Options of the Press. T Told You Se (poem).—Joha Fraser. De. Hall -Feeling—illus, Rhadamanthus and Charles — lus. al m. Proposal and Disposal (poem)— | Ancuim Gascorn—Joba Fraser Dike Dexter PO") | Bocas Excnances. AN EXPLANATION. E owe it, we feel we do, and really must apologize to our readers for hav- ing it delayed so long. We want them to distinctly understand our position in the matter of elevated and under- vated roads in New York City. We like these arrangements, we enjoy them. They are about the neatest thing in wood, iron and noise that modern civilization has produced. ‘The fault we have to find is that there are not enough of them. We want more. We hanker afterthem. We crave for them, We don’t propose to be satisfied with two paltry roads. We fear happiness will never be ours until there are two or three hundred more ele- vated railroads running through all the streets and avenues of the city. Some idiots have apologetically remarked that sleep might be interfered with. Pshaw! Nonsense. What is sleep? It is nought but a relic of barbarism, which, with many other old world nonsenses, has ob- tained a foothold in this delightfully free country. It is about time it was done away with, and elevated railroads are the things to do it. People, especially New Yorkers, don’t want sleep any more. It is a lazy useless habit, well Dendreat the Four - i jandreary on the Four-in- land—poem. Swéet Charity. POR Tus Anxious. ‘The Princess Louise's Salmon. A Sad Case—illus, Tales of Fashionable Life. The Horrors in Hoboken—illus. The Clergy and the Sunday enough in the effete monarchies of Europe, but | quite out of place in America. A few weak women, children and invalids may perhaps be permitted to indulge occasionally—but it is a wretched practice, and ought to be prohibited by law. "We reiterate that we have an intense affection for elevated railroads. Let us have them East, West, North and South, N.,E., S.W, S. E. 3 Southerly and North’ 34 Bast. The com- must boxed with elevated railroads. t us live on them, and die on them—because although we dispense with sleep we haven't yet reached such a stage of civilization as to be able to find a substitute for death. Still we hope even to do that, and Mr, Wil- liam H. Vanderbilt's projected road may help us in the matter. (From the N.Y. Hurruld.) MURDER!!! THE DEMON CAGED. A SON OF HAM. SANDWICHED BETWEEN TWO DETECTIVES. FHTTHRED!!! BRACELETS NOT FROM TIFFANY'S. ON THE RACE. Open Confession is good for the Soul. UNCLUBBED BY WILLIAMS. A FAT TARE. Not the Correct Ki-bosh in Criminals. ONE FOR THE HUB. Registered at the Tombs Hotel. MURDER WILL OUT. The Assassin's Bloody Trail from New York to Boston. WILL HE BE LAUNCHED INTO ETERNITY? PERHAPS INNOCENT. A TERRIBLE HYPOTHESIS, I§ HE THE DOCTOR'S MYRMIDON? LIFE FOR LIFE. Chastine Cox was lodged in the Tombs on Thursday, June 26, A SIGN OF ‘THE SEASON. Zwei Lacer! Parkerings. Juno it is hot? Wuat will July bring forth ? Wuat Can-a-da bring forth, Louise? Is Vanderbilt going to give New York “1."? Tupen and Cooper would make a good ticket for 1884.?! “GMM 2! Banpitri.— Little Buttercup”; a banned ditty everywhere. Very dry—weather, brain, throat—myself, too. Tis beer or not to be! Potty wants a cracker! [And if she gets it, she'll have much the same time as she had with the monkey in the historic tale.] ; Carr, Wittiams did not club Chastine Cox, The colored desperado belongs to the only class that can command safety and respect at that ruffianly officer's hands, On Friday next the militia regiments will try to gather their members together, in the morning. In the afternoon the small-boy will try to gather Ass members together. Has anybody thought of the feelings of the unfortunate Cox, coming to New York on the Bristol? He was confined in the bridal state- room, and hand-cuffed to a man by the name of Schmittenberger. Tuis is the season of the year when the good little boy refuses to go in bathing with his com- panions, because his mother forbid him, stays on the bank to mind their clothes and scoots for home after tying knots in the sleeves of their trousers. A CURRENT item warns us that too much fresh meat is not healthy in warm weather, but fails to say at what exact degree of putyidity it becomes innocuous. We have heard it said —and we believe it, too—that when a chunk of beef, exposed to the sun, acquires the con- sistency and general appearance of a plate of warm hash, a man may eat all he wants of it. “Tue missal which was presented to Queen Kate, wife of Henry V., by her father, was recently sold in Paris for $15,200.” The missile which was presented by the queen to her liege lord, has not been pre- served, She presented it to him, historians say, across the breakfast-table one morning, upon the occasion of his winking at the pretty serving maid, when he thought his wife wasn't looking. It was a china bowl, full of mush, and if we had a penchant for bad jokes, we would remark that the king was mush put out about it. Miss , the young, charming, beauti- ful and well-dressed American actress, has sung in all the country papers on a new advertising dodge. She lost her way in the Catacombs, shrieked in vain for help, and fainted away just twenty-three inches this side of instant death, in the shape of an open well-hole, But she was found. And that’s the worst of it— they always live to invent fresh ‘‘ reading notices.” ‘It would be a novel idea if one of these newspaper actresses would some day. meet with a fatal accident—and we cheerfully suggest it. One thing is certain, she would be assured of a ‘crowded house” forever after || —until resurrection day, i comicbooks.com