Puck — June 25, 1879 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. A “PICTURE POEM.” RespectruLty DEDICATED TO JOAQUIN MILLER. HE day was done, and the darkness Fell from the wings of night, Like a waterproof wafted downward From a magpie in its flight. He saw the lights of the village ‘Through the drizzling rain and mist, ‘And a feeling of hunger came o'er him That his soul could not resist. A feeling of hunger and dryness That was somewhat akin to pain, And resembled sorrow only As the whack resembles the cane. He sighed, and called from his larynx A simple and heartfelt lay, And every one that approached him Instantly fled away. "Twas not from the grand old masters, "Twas not from the bards sublime; "Twas from Gilbert and Sullivan's “ Pinafore,” Sung dreadfully out of time. For, as strains of martial music Unhappy fears suggest, The carolling sweet of the stranger Deprived one man of rest. So, armed with a broomstick and poker, The dinner-bell and a gong, One wretched, restless being Pursued this man of song. . * * ‘The night it was filled with music, ‘Alas, there was none next day! He had folded his tent like the Arab, And as silently crawled away. Minnie May, FITZNOODLE IN AMERICA. No. XCII. A COMMENCEMENT. Ya-as, this is the aw season when schools and othah places devoted to the twaining of youth of both sexes twy the pwogwess their pupils have made, and give an elocutionarwy enter- tainment they call a “commencement.” The aw name, I suppose, is all wight—use the same expwession sometimes in England. But still aw it does seem wathah odd, ye know, that a bweaking-up should be called ‘a com- mencement.” Should like to thorwoughly understand the weason, although perwhaps it might cause too gweat a pwessure on my bwain, Miss Marguerwite has a sistah who goes to an arwistocwatic school—aw I mean arwisto- cwatic faw an Amerwican—and as the time faw this commencement arwangement ap- woached, she was exceedingly desirwous that should accompany her to witness the demon- stwation. Naturwally, I was obliged to allow myself to be dw: ed to the young female seminarwy weferred to, and aw, "pon my soul, twied verwy hard to concentwate my thoughts on the ex- twemely wemarkable pwoceedings. It wasn’t a half bad sort of pwivate exhibi- tion, In the backgwound of a tolerwably large double woom there was a considerwable supply of flowers, quite pwettily arwanged, ye know. Ya-as, these Amerwicans often have verwy fai-ah taste, There were thrwee or four young cweatures sitting undah this florwal affai-ah, dwessed in white, with blue wibbons in their hair, and othah parwaphernalia, pwincipally of the same colaw, ovah their garments generwally. ‘They were pwize pupils who, Miss Marquer- wite said, were going to gwaduate. I don't know what they were going to gwad- uate in, or of what special value the gwaduation certificate was when they got it. I wan my eye ovah the scene, and observed quite an extensive numbah ef female cweatures in the body of the woom, of a variwety of sizes and ages. ‘Fhey were not going to §-G-gwaduate, but they went on the platform in detachments, at fwequent intervals, and we- peated in chorwus extwacts in pwose and poetwy in a large numbah of Eurwopean and othah languages, especially Sanscwit and Wus- sian, in which, I suppose, they were maw or less pwoficient. Aw I couldn't verwy well understand what was said, but I suppose they must have been desirwable compositions. ‘These wecitations had a d-d-doosid curwious effect, and were not nearly so interwesting as the appearwance of theschool-gyurls in their white wearwing appar- wel and elaborwately-dwessed twesses, The two or thrwee of aw sweet gyurl- gwaduates were pwetty, and carwied themselves in a mannah that entirely met with my ap- pwoval, Severwal clergymen and othah fellaws then wead papahs and weports about something or othah, and the pwoceedings terminated aftah everybody had been wegaled on ice-cweam and gingerbwead, handed wound by the pupils, Aw, on the whole, the exhibition gwatified me, faw it always is a source of pleasure to me to view innocence and purwity in the shape of gyurls in white muslin dwesses and wibbons, Miss Marguerwite thought it “ perfectly prey and I didn’t care about differwing fwom er. Jack tells me,and heheard it fwom aweliable fellaw, that everwy infant school in this coun- twy is compelled, by act of Congwess, to gwant its scholars degwees, similar to those given by wegular universities, even if the pwincipal was a stweet-sweepah befaw he wesolved to twy teaching, and he has but half a dozen pupils, Amerwicans ought to be awfully clevah; but Jack says the dwawback of the system is that it makes all the men, women and childwen in the United States college gwaduates, and one loses wespect faw them by their numbahs. 1 awwathah think I had a little maw twouble when I took my degwee at Cambwidge, al- though as a Fitznoodle I was allowed a varwiety of pwivileges aw. AN EPIGRAM. TO TAKE WITH YOU INTO THE COUNTRY. “«'Tis distance lends enchantment to the view." So Campbell tells us—bard of hope and purity— But fails to tell us when the loan falls due, Nor says a single word about security. ‘What follows, though, may show what he intends. The mountains, notwithstanding their high station, Don't always wear blue robes. What distance lends Is possibly upon hypothecation. PRIVATE CIRCULAR, Only Copy Extant—Secured for ‘‘ Puck” at Great Expense. THE STEWART MEMORIAL, The ceremony of laying the comer-stone of A. T, atee's CATHEDRAL SCHOOLS, for the anti-hebraic and clerical protegés of the Hon, Henry Hilton and Mrs, Stewart, at GARDEN CITY, L.L, (where Mr, Stewart's remains do not remain, and where the Hilton sarcophagus is in course of completion) and Now Buitpine By Mrs. A. T. STEWART, to be connected with the Cathedral at CABBAGE GARDEN CITY, will take place on Wednesday, June 18th, 1879, at 12:30 P, M., under the direction of the Ricut Rev. N,N, Demjoun, Bishop of Long Island, assisted by Hon, Henry Hu-ton and Bishops of the Episcopal Church, five hundred salesmen from the estab- lishment of A. T. Stewart & Co., and by all the clergy and representatives of the laity, The music will be rendered by a trained choir of five hundred salesladies, supported by one hundred cash and choir-boys (in full canon- icals), an instrumental accompaniment, and the Centennial chime of bells, purchased by Mrs. Stewart far below cost. All under the baton of We. Linsey, Esq. Tue Hon. Henry Hitton will deliver an oration on “‘ Garbage and Oats as Educators of the Masses,” and Wa. Linsey, Esq., will preside at the banquet given on this occasion, the viands being furnished by Del- monico, Cot. De Brot, assisted by Mr. Rice, the Judge’s lawyer, will have charge of the dress- coats, provided for the salesmen at cost price, on this occasion. Each salesman will be re- quired to provide himself with a clean shirt for this ceremony, and will receive his trip-ticket at a greatly reduced price. No unseemly conduct at the banquet will be allowed, and any salesman or saleslady showing undue haste in the securing of food, however hungry they may be, will be reported at once to We. Lispey, Esq. In Honor oF Mr. Stewart's Memory, this day will be a general holiday in the New York establishment of Messrs, A. T. S. & Co., and all the employees of that firm are expected to commemorate the day by being present at this ceremony, and no reduction will be made from their salaries where they receive over four dollars per week. Tickets for the banquet, at which the Judge will give the Episcopal bless- ing, assisted by the Bishop, are placed at the low price of fifty cents each—Pilsener extra, THe Maoniricent Site, The structure is located upon the elevated ground, giving a full view of the Hilton sarco- hagus, and the cabbage gardens and out-fields cultivated by the Hon. Henry Hixton, and the interesting ceremony may thus be witnessed by thousands who will flock hither at excursion rates, Excursion tickets, at about half the reg- ular rates, will be issued from all stations. For further particulars see daily prints, No free tickets. Mrs, STEwaRT's BENEFICENCE. N.B. The Cathedral Schools, being one of the monuments of Mr. Stewart's munificence, students will be furnished with tuition and rooms at the low rate of six dollars per week, same as at the late ‘‘ Woman's Hotel.” Board- ing houses will be erected, where the students may live at greatly reduced rates. All the car- pets, upholstery and linen of the Cathedral Schools will be from the establishment of A. T. Stewart & Co., and not from ARNOLD, Constante & Co., as falsely reported.