Puck — June 11, 1879 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. NIHILISM! HE TERRIBLE PERFORMANCES OF THE SOCIALISTIC SPECTRE. A DANCE OF DEATH IN RUSSIA, Shocking Instances of the Revolutionary Power. Collated for “Puck” by Minister Stoughton. A VERY HOT COLLATION. All for 10 Cents! Mr. Clerical E. Stoughton has kindly con- sented to give to the world his valuable notes on the practical working of the new Nihilistic Governmept in Russia, which has done what no previous revolutionary attempt has ever accomplished—cast the Emperor from his throne without his knowing it, and knocked into the cocked-hat-edness of chaos a govern- ment that still fondly imagines itself in the full exercise of its powers, If our readers care to hear more of this neat and novel rebellion, conducted in a manner so satisfactory to both parties; we will at some future time lay before them the whole collec- tion of illustrative anecdotes which Mr. Stough- ton has kindly placed at our disposal. At present we will content ourselves with a few particularly blood-curdling bits, which may be received at face value, be the same more or less. Nuuistic Horror No. I. On May 11th, 1879, General Kikup von Kolikoff testified to the excellent state of health in which he found himself by eating, at nine o'clock in the evening, a light supper consist- ing of spring-chicken, broiled bones, salmon, sauce mayonnaise, lobster salad, strawberries and cream, hot muffins, raw tomatoes and vinegar and fresh gingerbread. At 12 p.m. he was dead. His last words were understood to be: “ This is the work of the Executive Com- mittee.” re polite compliance with the wish of Puck, I, As General Gashnikoff Tarowit¢h was tak- ing his usual morning promenade on the Tom- katsch Plaza, about three weeks ago, a myste- tious stranger; who had by some means man- aged to clude the vigilance of the police, walked rapidly up the opposite side of the Place, and, on coming within hearing of the distinguished general, saluted him, uttered, in a loud tone of voice, the words: ‘‘Good morn- ing!” and immediately disappeared. The Gen- eral fell, struck by the poisoned utterance of thestranger, whose conversation was so charged with some deadly Nihilistic essence that it was able to kill at 200 yards range. The General was buried with imposing ceremonies. No trace of the Executive Committee stranger, has yet been found, IL. As the Second Deputy Minister of the Ward- tobe, Count_Jigisupski, was proceeding to his office, the day before yesterday, surrounded by his usual escort, a small Nihilistic boy emerged from an alleyway, and, thrusting aside the first two ranks of 3, aimed an 8o-ton Krupp rifled cannon at the head of the Count and fired. When the smoke cleared away, the assassin was no longer visible; the new and beautiful wig of the Minister was blown to atoms, together with several members of the guard of honor, and on the bald and polished cranium of the revered victim of revolutionary HELP FOR ARCHB ISHOP PURCELL, I ‘THIS WOULD BE A GOOD DopGeE, \ As EccLesiasTICAL OrGAN-GRINDERS} i. OR BETTER STILL. SPOKESMAN oF SyNDICATE:- “Vy d’ye bodder yer brainsh, my tears? Ven yer ives us a nice little morgige on dot Catedral, Bruder Purcell shall hafe all der monish fe vants. Only a small pershentage a veek—vell, den a mont—shelp me Moses!" violence was legibly written: ‘‘ Compliments of the Executive mittee,” Baron de Crepitiski, Chief of the tant Al- ternative Subordinate Board of Public Works, died at his palatial residence, after a long and painful attack of hereditary diphtheria, height- ened by chronic strangulation, at the age of 97 years. Another example of the horrors of the Executive Committee. Iv. On Wednesday, April 23d, 18 9g the Vv. As Busteraiwitch Bossikoff, a rich land-owner in the province of Perthamboynika, was walk- ing in his len at the hour of noon, on the 27th day of last month, a sudden earthquake swallowed up all of the unfortunate gentleman except one boot, the left, which, having been already half-soled and heeled, was of but little consolation to his bereaved family, As the earthquake closed up, it was heard to remark: “Executive Committee!” comicbooks.com