Puck — June 11, 1879 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. it—to that of a cigar. Now do light your ipe.” E ‘A sudden suspicion flashed across Archie's mind, and he turned quickly to look at her; but the face was as demure as an uncomonly pretty face ever can be—with a demureness, however, that was a trifle overdone, and was belied by the mischievous expression of the eyes. But Archie was in no mood to make fine distinctions, and it was with a feeling of relief that he replied: “But, Miss Macdonald, the truth is I have no pipe.” ee What! I thought you had quite a number of pi i What could have made you think so?” ex- claimed Archie, with genuine surprise. “Oh! nothing,” she replied, with a look of such distracting. knowingness and archness, and a smile of maddening amusement that al- most drove the young man frantic. “Oh! no- thing,” she continued, toying in an affectedly absent way with the fringe of her necktie, only” “Only what?” stammered Archie, almost unable to speak. “ Only—that—I—thought—you must have quite a number of pipes to be able—to afford —to—throw one away on the road.” . * * What happened during the rest of the drive; what she said; what he said; what anybody or everybody said or did, Archie never could tell; but if ever a man felt grateful to get toa journey’s end, it was he. To make matters worse, Alister, who occu- pied a seat on the box beside John, and had passed a very agreeable and instructive hour in discussing horseflesh and kindred subjects with the coachman, happened to introduce the sub- ject of pipes. Turning round on his seat and looking down upon his brother he said: “By the way, Kenneth, I hope you have ‘brought some good meerschaums with you this time; those you brought before were beastly.” And so it began, and the conversation turn- ing that way gave the Doctor a glorious oppor- tunity for the introduction in state of Ais fav- orite meerschaum—the heirloom of the Macs of Ballinasloyboys. “ There!” cried Bob proudly, as he took the fatal case from his pocket and proceeded to open it, “ there is a pipe—why, Campbell !”— He said no more; in an instant he under- stood Archie’s trick, for it was Archie’s pipe, and the look he cast at its rightful owner would have withered the hide of a rhinoceros. But Bob was seldom unequal to the occasion, His face almost instantly recovered its usual look of philosophic composure, and with a little laugh, the awkwardness of which only Miss MacDonald and Archie detected, he said: “Why, I thought I had left all my rubbish behind—here goes!” And he threw the pipe and case into the ditch; after which he proceeded calmly to trot out the Simon pure and dilate upon its merits. [It was Archie's best pipe, and really an heirloom, so his feelings may be guessed. They must have strongly resembled those of the two swells in the * Lady of Lyons” when they see Claude Melnotte dispose in suck an off- hand.way of their property. But it served Archie right.] That night Campbell kept studiously aloof from Bob, and Bob from Campbell, and both from Miss McDonald, and the Professor couldn't for the life of him make out the reason of the air of constraint that suddenly seemed to per- vade the company. Only Miss Maggie knew, and there was a mischievous, but very pleasant and self-satisfied twinkle in her eyes all the evening. As they were retiring to bed that night Effie, who al- ways slept with Maggie, suddenly clapped her hands and exclaimed: “Oh! Maggie, isn’t he just awfully nice?” Her sister blushed as she answered: “T haven't thought about it, dear, but I rather like him.” “« Rather like him!~ Come, now, that’s too good; why, he’s just a duck, and I adore him already. He promised to take me out in the boat to-morrow, and has already written some beautiful verses in my praise.” “He has! Who has?” cried her astonished sates, with a puzzled expression on her lovely face. “« Who has?” echoed Effie, mimicking her, “why, the Doctor, of course—who else could it bee” “Oh—yes—the Doctor, of course. Who else could it be?" And the sisters went to sleep with a smile on their young faces, and had one of them been awake, she might have heard the other murmur in her sleep, “ Who else could it be?” But which is the one and which the other we leave it to our readers to guess. CHAPTER IX. O! love! love! laddie, Love's likes dizziness! It winna let a (ae body Gang about her business! —Hogg. In spite of the fatigues of the day, Archie wakened early next morning, fresh as a lark. He was always an early riser, even when in town, and now that he was in the country, and such a country as Skye, he had made up his mind to spend as little time indoors as possi- ble, Accordingly six o’clock found him, alert and fresh, enjoying the coolness of the morn- ing air and the grateful odors of flower and shrub and salt sea wind in the sea-washed gar- len, But in spite of the freshness of the morning and the beauty of the scenery, he felt far from well, His mind, like Eugene Aram’s, was “ill at ease;” that pipe weighed heavily upon it. He felt uncomfortably conscious that he had made a fool of himself, and that Miss Mac- donald knew it and was secretly laughing at him; and there are few things a young fellow of brains hates more than to be laughed at. He regretted, too, that he had concealed his name. Tosail under false colors is always distasteful to a gentleman, and it was doubly so toArchie, now that he had met Miss Macdonald, and, in a vague sort of way, fallen in love with her. Although not actually, or at any rate, con- sciously in love, there was no doubt that he had been very considerably impressed by her appearance and manners. More than that, he was piqued; and nothing gives so much zest and interest to the relations of two young peo- ple of opposite sexes—particularly when both are not only ‘young and handsome,” but talented as well—than the belief on cither or both sides that the other is secretly laughing at him or her. So it came about, as has been said, that in spite of the fineness of the morning Archie was in anything but an enviable frame of mind, and it was with what sounded very like a mild imprecation that he stumbled across some- thing and barely escaped a fall. The some- thing in question was an easel, and on it a half- finished sketch in oil. One look was sufficient to satisfy the wanderer that the picture, crude and incomplete as it was, had merit. An artist himself, his eye was quick to appreciate a “ good thing,” and he knew at a glance that the sketch before him was all that. (To be continued.) MARK TWAIN'S HOTEL, Having lately opened a hashery, I send you these my rules and regulations: This house will be considered strictly intem- perate. None but the brave deserve the fare, Persons owing bills for board will be bored for bills. Boarders who do not wish to pay-in ad- vance are requested to advance and pay, Boarders are expected to wait on colored cooks for meals. Sheets will be nightly changed once in six months, or more if ne- cessary. Double boarders can have two beds with a room.in it, or two rooms with a bed in it, as they choose. Boarders are requested to pull off their boots if they can conveniently do so. Beds with or without bugs. All moneys and other valuables are to be left in the care of the proprietor. This is to be insisted on, as he will be responsible for no other losses, Inside matter will not be furnished editors under any consideration, Relatives coming to make a six months’ visit will be welcomed; but when they bring half their household furni- ture, virtue will cease to be forbearance. Single men with their families will not be boarded. Beds with or without board. Dreams will be charged for by the dozen. Nightmares will be furnished at reasonable rates, Stone walls will be furnished to snoring boarders, and the pro- prietor will in no wise be responsible for the broken tin-pan-ums of other ears. NAUGHTY CHICAGO. “« My dear,” said Miss Clara Morris to Mr. Clara Morris, at the Palmer House, the other day, “ are you quite ready for dinner?” “Awfully quite, my love.” “Have you laid out the paste diamond for the chambermaid to steal?” “ Yes, ducky.” “And written the usual note to the chief of police ready for mailing ?” “ Everything regular, my pet.”” “And ordered a nice, gentle horse to run away with me to-morrow ?”” “Yes, dear.” “And sent those marked copies of the ‘moxa' operation to the Sunday papers?” “Certainly.” “And did you tell that reporter I intended to buy a two hundred thousand dollar banana plantation somewhere ?” “All attended to, sweetest.” “ Then let us look unhappy and go down.” —Danbury News. Tue modern paragrapher is nothing if not prolific. Give him an idea and he can work it over in a dozen different ways without dream- ing that he is imitating anybody or doing what has often been done before. For instance, he can easily get up designs in brackets in a man- ner similar to that in which the pedigrees of horses are arranged, thus: nose run? Did you ever sce a4 cat nip? shoe brush? book cover? door jam? button hook ? —Rome Sentinel, What did the