Puck — May 28, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. : PUCK. Nos, 21 & 28 WARREN STREET. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Tarus To Sunscriners, One Copy one year, or ss sumbers... H. C. BUNNE] SPECIAL J NOTICES. Remittances by xfFpien © SCHWAKE ‘We cannot undertake to return rejected communications, and to this rule we can make no exception. on Sale in London, at the News Agency of Messrs; HENRY F GILLIG & CO, naff Seads Grane Crom, and at THE INTERNATIONAL NEWS COMPANY, Street, Fleet Street; 1m Paris, Polsonaiere, and on 6le at he Herald” Ofbes, 49 Avenue de | ‘Opera. Order ete., are to be addressed to CONTENTS. Feminine Literature, A Notable Arrival. Brooklya Female Piety. ‘A Poct—and no Mistake—Ar- “Fix Ba; The tthe 5 Statue of Liberty (poem)—illus, Ns. Decoration and Execration. ‘The, Logic of the Uneducated, ‘hur Penn. Fire-Sen and Fire-Water. One View of It. 1 The Municipal Menagerie. | The Old and the New (poem)— ifference (poem).— Hu- | What Goeth on at Present. Mert Hi, Duvar, Tales of Fashionable Life. Balbula ‘on Modern Infidelity. | Literary Notes. Frgprooots i AncenrcA,—No. | The Theatres, Axswaxs ror Hex Axxious. Our American Dramatic College | Ancnu Gascovier—Jobe Fraser illus, Pucx’s Excnances. Eheu! Fugaces! (poem).— Ar thur Hostage. « FIX BAYONETS”. JE always did think that we should one r ( day put our foot in it. Our devoted friends, and they are numerous, have not infrequently intimated that we were going a little too far, Nay, they have warned us, begged us, prayed to us on bended knees, just to draw things just a little wee bit milder. But the prayers have been systematically ignored, aad their agonizing cries have passed by us as the idle wind which we regard not. But Nemesis has overtaken us, and although not unexpected, we tremble. Puck is to be wiped out of existence. Mr. Keppler is to be torn in pieces by wild horses, then trampled into condensed meat by | 4 newly captured elephants, ‘And why? Because we have offended some members of the National Guard who, we understand, in-| tend calling an indignation meeting to protest | * against the manner in which we caricatured their beloved and gallant Chaplain Beecher in our cartoon of last week. This news has so utterly overwhelmed us that we scarcely know what to say. | It’s no use denying it—we do plead guilty ; to caricaturing Mr. Beecher—and we very much fear we shall be compelled to repeat the offense. A regiment of the National Guard fortunate enough to secure a Chaplain who presents such admirable points for a good, strong picture, ought to make its arrangements accordingly. We like our citizen soldiers, To join a mili- tary organization for the purpose of defending life and property is a truly laudable action. The exercise is healthful—besides, it sets a man up, and above all makes him very attractive in the eyes of susceptible young women—but the system, in this State, is by no means what it ought to be, and if this were not to be the last issue of Puck, we might have something to say about the matier. Should we rise Phoenix-like from our ashes— we mean after the Indignation meeting—we may, perhaps, manage to utter a few words of friendly advice and suggestion to the N. G. S. THE BARTHOLDI STATUE OF LIBERTY. A FEW REMARKS, ie re Is The monument Was, Poz! To have been sent. Sent by France, To enhance Kindest of relations: Still we wait; But less great Are our expectations. "Twas, you know, Three years ago, During our Centen- nial; Three years fit— No signs of it: ‘Still our hope’s peren- nial, Smiling bland, She sent a Hand. France enthusiastic. But since then No specimen OL the art called plastic. “If you'll raise,” Says she, “a base Fit for her erection, You shall see Your Liberty In life-size perfec. tion.”” Then said we, Politelee, Bring along yoursta- tue. Then we'll try In liberalitie, Mistress France, to match you,” So it stands, And The Hand’s Present occupation Is, like palms Stretched for alms, One of Solicitation. So Know Oar cut’s intent, Big Rig Your monument! Purkerings. Moore Centennial! Does a militia milish? Suppose we decorate Reform? He is now called the chicken-cooper. Dutce et decorated est pro patria mori, 13 is an unlucky number—'specially in regi. ments, Tue goth ought to be another G. A. R. field day in Congress. TatMaGE says sinners should have a show, He gives them one, Tue Grand Army of the Republic will deco- rate, as usual, with a stick in theirn, We know one Cooper who ought to crawl into a bunghole and draw the hole in after him, ‘Tue high-proof epigram which General Grant got off recently, at home, has given its name to the new Colosseum Cocktail, We have got an energetic police-commis- sioner at last. McLean is going to commence clearing off the snow, right away. ‘Tue fashionable underclothing this spring is so gloriously variegated and artistic that a young man feels as if he were walking round in a full fancy-dress ball. THERE are two or three graves we want to decorate. Captain Alexander Williams, if it doesn't incommode you, we should like to be- gin with yours, and mighty sudden, too! Sraten Istanp murderers, when they have occasion to head up their wives in barrels, pass them off as ice-cream. This is not doing the square thing by the regular vanilla and straw- berry article. Grant’s boom was only a joke—a gibe- boom, in fact. [We will get down on our knees, and eat dust, and put gravel on our heads; and we feel we owe it to our readers; but we had to do it.] Ir is a beautiful reflection that the original Arthur was a square man, although he headed the Round Table. The present bearer of the name is a very mean contributor to the,Idylls of the 14th st. King, Primroses, straw hats and new papers are springing up thick as leaves in Tallapoosa. The latest news is that Rothschild has. begun life again as a journalist, and is running a news- paper called the Globe, in Paris, That man wants to get dowm to lunching in dime restau- rants and wearing an alpaca duster next winter. Scene: Fulton Ferry; Time: Night. Mem- ber of the 13th regiment, N. G. S. N.Y. weeps as he weary plods his homeward way. “ Why these tears, idle tears?”’ inquires sym- pathizing friendship, patting the veteran on the back, “T am going home from the anti-Puck in- | dignation meeting,” said the weeping warrior. ‘And they left him to his great grief. NOTICE. | — | Numbers 14, 42, 43 and 48 of Puck will be bought at this office, 21 & 23 Warren Street, at 10 cents per copy. EOMIEHOOKS.com