Puck — May 14, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. PUCK. Nos. 21 & 23 WARREN STREET. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms To Susscriser: OS. KEPPLER. HWARZMANI H. C. BUNNER: SPECIAL NOTICES. Remittances by Money Order, etc., are to be addressed to KEPPLER & SCHWARZMANN, ‘We cannot undertake to return rejected communications, and to this rule we can make no exception. Puce 1s 00 Sale in London, at the News Agency of Messrs. HENRY F. GILLIG & CO., 44 4, Channg Cross, and at THE INTERNATIONAL NEWS COMPANY, 11, Bouverie Street, Fleet Street; in Paris, at TER ‘12 Boulevard Poissonniere, and on file at the “Herald ” 49 Avenue de MOpera. REMOVAL. (G7 Puck has removed to new and, of course, com- modious quarters at Nos. 21 & 23 WARREN STREET. CONTENTS. California's Constitution. Spiritual Communications. Two Communications. NOODLE 1M AMERICA.—No. TTD Pockanmncs, LXXXVIII. ‘The Manly Art—allus. Puck's Conpanseo Novets II. Life Tosurance. —L'Assommoir, Puck's Pawrunon VII—Chand- | Geatle Spring (poem). —T. Ver the Cockatit | pce Erreur deLocale (poem).—H.D. | Jesus and Justice. Love in Lillipat. Wethaue, X Case in Point. Axswans rox THe Anxious. Pucx’s Pawrwton VII—Zack | Arcote Gascorwe—John Fraser lus. x's EXcnances. 18 (poem)—Arthur Hos- CALIFORNIA'S CONSTITUTION. ALIFORNIA is the spoiled child of the United States; and what California needs, and will ultimately get, is a good, sound,* square, old- fashioned spank. Reversed over the national knee, and squirming under the governmental slipper, California may have some of her superfluous boundlessness shaken out of her, and a little solid ballast of horse-sense and self-respect hammered into the region which she now uses, apparently, to perform her intel- lectual and logical functions. Not that California has not brains enough— the trouble is simply that she has not yet learned how to. use them. Practically the baby of the family, born with a golden spoon in her mouth, she has traded on her congenital charms and capabilities until the precocity which was once our pride has become a nuisance and an ab- surdity. The two extreme ends of this country are decidedly objectionable, each in its own way. New England is priggish and California is boundless, But the affectations of culchahed Massachusetts are merely superficial: they do not militate against the existence of a healthy moral and mental equilibrium which asserts itself whenever the nation gets a serious shock, whether from external or internal causes, We laughed at the long-haired enthusiasts of Bos- ton who whined and slobbered over the Slave; but we looked with perfect confidence to the Men of Concord, when the time came to fight for that mahogany unfortunate: and they were there. But California! Ah! if her boundlessness were only as innocent a folly. It is not. Boundlessness does not mean only the osten- tation, the arrogance and the opinionated “smartness” which make the individual Cali- TWO COMMUNICATIONS AND ANSWERS THERETO. 13th REGIMENT HEADQUARTERS. Cor. Flatbush Ave, and Hanson Place. BRooxyy, MAY Ist. 1879. INTERNATIONAL CIRCULAR. Pusuisiters “Puck""—Gentlemen: The visit of this Regiment to the City of Montreal, on the Anniversary of the Birthday of Her Majesty Queen Victoria, has so far progressed that it is now regarded by our Canadian brothers as one of international import. As the command will visit foreign soil, carrying the Flag of our Union on a friendly mission with a fall regimental organization, for the first time in American history, we are desirous, that every member of the regi- ment shall accompany it, and that our citizen soldiers of our National Guard shall do honor and credit to our State and our Union. We, therefore, appeal to your patriotism and love of | country to contribute such sum as may seem to you to be appropriate, to aid us in defraying the heavy expenses of the trip, and to aid in relieving the burden of assessment ‘on such of our members as cannot afford to lose both the time and the money outlay. Your contribution, if sent to the undersigned com- mittee at the regimental armory, will be duly acknow- ledged with thanks, ‘The committee will be present at armory, on Tuesday and Friday evening of each week, DAVID E. AUSTEN, Colonel, 13th, Regiment. HORATIO C. KING, — Brevet Colonel Major, 13th. Regiment, f Committee. HENRY WARD BEECHER, | Chaplain, 13th, Regiment, We have read the above with great interest; but we scarcely feel called upon to subscribe any ready money to this praiseworthy cause. We have, however, a little cartoon, which will be at the service of Mr. Beecher’s regiment on Wednesday next. | Orrick OF THE SECRETARY BUSINESS - MEN'S SUCIETY FOR THE COURAGEMENT OF MODERATION, No. 26 Astor House Offices, New York, May 8th, '79 Editors Puck: Gentlemen.—Your illustration of the possibilities of our new society has been duly appreciated, and we tender you our sincere thanks. We do not know how much will be accomplished Ly our new movement; but the manifestations of encouragement which we have had thus far, greatly stimulate our hopes, and we shall ear. estly try to develope the good idea which we feel certain we have hit upon, Yours truly, F, B. THURBER, Pres’t. We thank Mr. Thurber and his society for his kind appreciation of our humble endeavors; we sincerely congratulate them on the success with which they have met, end if Mr. Thurber, or any of his friends will call round at this office during business hours, we shall be happy to drink a health to their enterprise in some very choice old Bourbon—oh! bless us! we forgot! fornian a social nightmare. Boundlessness is the only word that can describe the chaotic ideas of the western agitator, and the colossal impudence with which he advances them. It is “freshness” raised to the nth power. It is crude brain in a state of fermentation. And the matters thence evolved are characteristic and—cussed, California's latest act of boundlessness is the adoption of her New Constitution. She was dissatisfied with the old one, partly because it did not contain provisions categorically for- bidding the existence of the Chinaman, and specifically providing for the sustenance of Mr. Denis Kearney; but principally because it was like other constitutions and was not transcend- entally Californian in all its ways and workings. So now she has got her new one—and a nice bellyful it is for the body politic. Mr, Denis Kearney’s truck drives full tilt over grasping capital and heartless monopoly and selfish wealth, and, entirely in the interest of the employed, manages utterly to destroy the employer. Look at this New Constitution of yours, | Miss California! He is a nice young man for a small tea-party, isn’t he? Why, he will eat you out of house and home. True he disposes of the obnoxious Chinaman; but how about your railroads, your mining-companies, your pushing capitalists who have built you up your trades and manufactures? Will the possession of Mr. Denis Kearney fully compensate you for the loss of the men and the money that you have driven out of your borders? Do you think that your over-taxed bonds and mort- gages are going to pay the deficit of your un- taxed wheat-fields?’ Do you think you are going to eat your financial cake and have it, too Look at your New Constitution, young wo- man, and go into the corner and weep over your bumptiousness, your boundlessness—and your bankruptcy. Puckerings. As an uncle, Collector Merritt beats Simpson all hollow. AVUNCULAR stock has gone up several hun- dred per cent. Coxtector Merritt and §, J. Tilden ought to swap nevvies. Two boys recently discovered a brood of kittens in the abandoned nest of a fish-hawk near Sandy Hook. We were determined to get litter-airy kittens as an offset to the World's “horticultural cat.” ‘Tuuncs are seldom what they seem! Jackdaws masquerade as cream. Highlows pass as peacock’s feathers, Skim-milk struts in patent-leathers! [Positively the last] We read that Mrs. Frances Hodgson Bur- nett, the authoress of ‘That Lass o’ Lowrie's,” resolved to become a novelist when she was only 7 years old, ‘This is presumably intended to illustrate what a fixed purpose and firm reso- lution will accomplish. The several thousand youngsters who every year make up their minds to become President of the United States, should take a note of this. Ir you were to accuse Miss Analine De Flukey of overweening seif-conceit, you would not abash her in the least; she would retort that one has a perfect right to admire the mas- terpieces of Nature, The day after the an- nouncement of her engagement to Fred Dory, an old friend offered his congratulations. “Not me,” she said, and she twitched her nose haughtily—congratulate Fred.”