Puck — April 23, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. PUCK. Nos. 21 & 28 WARREN STREET. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terms Jo Sunscripers. One Copy ove year, or 52 numbers Ges Gapyias Semin oo coos: One Copy for thirteen weeks... Postact OS. KEPPLE! CHWARZMAN! HH. C. BUNNE Teuustmaren By Business Sawai SPECIAL NOTICES. ar Remittances by Money Order, ec., are to be addrested to KEPPLER & SCHWARZMANN, We cannot undertake to return rejected communications, and to this rule we can raake no exception. Poissonniere, and on file VOpera. (2 Puck has removed to new and, of course, com- modious quarters at Nos. 21 & 23 WARREN STREET. CONTENTS. Royalty Throws up the Sponge. Fact and Fancy. 2h Art ia Washington: | Frezxcone 1m Asmntca. | - rsseo Noves, — ‘Tammany’s New Members—ill,| Puc The Lady of the Roostercoop. A Poe's Hearia, Oi or Con-| Highly Important. Conversation aud Calisth framp (illus.) — Isaac R.| Answres rox THe ANAIOUS anypacker, Friendly Chats with the ““Aver- Pucy’s Excwances, age Citizen." —No. 1. - IROWS uP TH SPONG E SHORT time ago we pointed out the great depression that existed in all ~ branches of the ecclesiastic trade, as in- stanced by the late awkward bankruptcy of Messrs. Purcell & Bro., Archbishops and Bank- ers of Cincinnati, whose paper, until the hour of their suspension was always considered gilt- edged, and could be shaved on the most favor- able terms. And the dark clouds that hover over the bus- iness world generally lower in their blackest hue on the Emperor, King and Queen interests. While there are some gleams of hope fora revival of commerce generally, we see little prospect of the Royalty trade ever getting on its legs again. To use the language of the street, it has got a black eye, from which it can never hope to recover. It has had its day, and a pretty long day, too. The reigning monarchs of Europe who eagerly devour Puck—and they all do it—do not relish the information that we gratuitously give them, and, like our liberal gas companies, who won't believe that the electric light is to wipe them out of existence, cling with fatuity to their old line of business. But the six-shooters and bowies of the gen- tlemen.who pursue the profession of Nihilist and Socialist must ultimately have the effect of making Royalty look about for a business that is not quite so risky. The Nihilist gentleman who scored nothing out of a:possible one, with Mr. Alexander of Russia as a bull’s-eye, must feel about as bad as O'Leary did when he left the track—though it is not probable that he will be allowed quite as much time to reflect on his breakdown, And very properly, too; assassination is never nice, in any form. We don’t think it desirable for kings, tramps or book-agents; although we do think that the world would be better off if all these classes could be quietly sat upon in a harmless manner. * Our artist points out one way out of the Axcitie Gascovnx—Johu Fraser | wood for poor, persecuted Royalty. Let them stick figures of themselves in their carriages, | when they take the air, and disguise themselves as undistinguished persons. The dummies will be equally good targets, and there will be no danger of bloodshed. ‘This suggestion is offered in the most chari- table spirit to all the crowned headsof Europe. Mrs. Victoria, however, need not take advan- tage of our kindness, As she has nothing to do with the government of Great Britain, ex- cept to draw a few millions of dollars a year to have a good time generally, there isn’t the slightest fear of anybody doing her harm. FACT AND FANCY. SOME of our Esteemed. Contemporaries have lately been circulating a few re- marks by Mr. William Winter, concern- ing Shakspere and Anne Hathaway. Mr. Winter seems to feel that he is called upon by the Muse of History to piece out the meagre records of Shakspere’s private life, and he has let his light and airy fancy loose upon the alleged romance of Stratford-on-Avon. Soaring high upon the buoyant pinions of untrammeled conjecture, Mr. Winter boldly as- serts various highly remarkable things hitherto unknown to students of the great dramatist’slife. He starts out, does Mr. Winter, with two premises, First:’ that Anne Hathaway was older than Shakspere. Second: that Shak- spere was younger than Anne Hathaway. ‘These are the only facts bearing cn the subject for which Mr, Winter has any use. And on these he predicates the following little romance: Anne Hathaway being older than Shakspere, Shakspere must have loved her very much to have married her. If Shakspere loved her very much, she must have been very lovely and beautiful and accomplished and all sorts of things. ‘This proves conclusively that Anne Hathaway had a marble brow and a liquid violet eye—and another liquid violet eye, too —and ruby lips and an aquiline nose anda wealth of golden hair. Now, we maintain that the wings of Mr. Winter's imagination need clipping. We don't mean to have him play off any story-paper ro- mance on us for solid Shakspere history. The facts in the case won't bear him out, and he knows it. ‘The truth is, Shakspere was not one of your Sunday-school characters, who did his mashing in the Bible-class or the prayer-meeting. He was more of an ice-cream and sherry-cobbler rounder; and Anne Hathaway wasa good deal of astrawberry-and-sugar darling. Shakspere married Anne Hathaway, if we may be par- doned a trivial anachronism, at the muzzle of the derringer. He saw a Cameron-Oliver suit looming up in the immediate future, and he wedded his lovely bride at the urgent request of her parents. As soon as possible after the ceremony, he went south-east, young man— skipped to London. ‘That he was the greatest genius that ever trod this nasty little earth has nothing to do with his personal and private character, which was arabesque. If internal evidence goes for a cent, Shakspere’s plays pretty clearly indicate that he was one of the boys—every time, We refer to these facts only because we don’t like to see people making up goody-goody stories about Shakspere. ‘The truth is the truth, for one thing; for another, there is no need of any lying on Shakspere’s account. Hamlet will not be one whit less grand and sad; Juliet a shade less loving; Othello less great of heart because we know that Shakspere had an ante- nuptial affair with a woman older than himself. Mr. Winter strikes usas unnecessarily officious with his little pot of white-wash. Puckerings. Ver’ pum sap—Vew maple syrup. Otp saws were made by ancient seers, Mr. Cuartes R. THORNE, JR., isa de Coucy, “and don't you forget it!” Now the ingenious youth whittles the handle of his snow-shovel into a base-ball bat. Grant cannot play new-fashioned billiards —the old pocketing game is the only one with which he is familiar. Ir a miss is as good as a mile,” what mag- nificent records these would-be king-killers might make as long-distance pedestrians. Tue Divinity College, Harvard University, to the author of ‘Demonology and Devil Love "—‘ Moncure D. Conway, B.D'd!" Wuen a certain newspaper scribe is “Gath” ered to his fathers, who will tell the lies of the country ?—/. Y. News, Eli Perkins. Tue worst feature of this lapse into wintry weather is that the resuscitation of the season will givé occasion for an extra edition of spring poetry. A preacher there was of great fame, And ‘T-a-Image was his name; When asked if he lied, He cheerfully sighed, For said he: ‘I'll be damned all the same.”” Barnum’s Circus has opened its season, but with all his vaunted enterprise the boss show- man has not yet caged the howling jackal of the Brooklyn ‘Tabernacle. True ’tis, P. T., and pity 'tis, 't is true, A Man and his wife can never agree upon what constitutes a tidy-looking room; a woman will grow irritable when she finds half-a-dozen cigar stumps sticking to the scorched mantel- piece, and he can’t be expected to keep calm when he finds a bunch of long “combings” in his shaving-mug. Tue sight of a man wheeling a baby-carriage in the street is a sign, not that the infant is weak, but that the man’s wife is strong. And yet, if we were to judge from the amiable grin with which the fond father, under these cir- cumstances, salutes every passing acquaintance, we might erroneously suppose that he was really doing it just for the fun of the thing. We have much pleasure in presenting our readers a portrait of Captain Williams and his special partner—his club. As this gentleman is about retiring into pri- vate life and seeking that repose which a po- lice station never affords, we would recommend those who wish to preserve the portrait of this noble citizen and good and faithful servant of the public to cut our cartoon out and paste it in their iron-clad helmets. waNOTICH = ~ No. 9 (issue of May 7, 1877), No. 14 (issue of June 14, 1877), No. 26 (issue of Septenber 5, 1877), Nu. 53 (issue of March 13, 1878), and No, 57 (issue of April 10, 1878), of Puck will be ought at this office, 21 & 23 ‘Warren Street, at 25 cents per copy. comicbooks.com