Puck — April 16, 1879 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“SOME FUNNY VERSES. « Soe fanny verses""!—just my luck! I really would not be uncivil, But I could almost wish, dear Puck, Your editor were at the devil. I must somehow discharge that debt, And heaven knows where to get the money, I don't—but, thunder, I forget— I must be funny, «Some funny verses'!!—O, this tooth! Its twinges drive me to distraction; Compelling me, to tell the truth, To woo a masterly inaction; Nor read can I, nor write—you bet, Nor walk, albeit the day is sunny, Nor eat nor smoke nor drink—and yet I must be funny. “Some funny verses" !—let me see: Suppose I write about the walking, Or General Washington's pedigree, Or Mr. Cameron's dear-stalking. Ha! there’s the bell; it must be Shaw, He said he'd let me have that money; Yes—no—ye gods, my mother-in-law!! T can’t be fanny. Joun Fraser. SPEECH OF RODERICK LARKIN, ESQ. DELIVERED BEFORE THE IRISH HISTORICAL SOt had. Mr. Larkin.—I want to call the attintion av yer honor to the fact that Puck is makin game av us. Is this a free counthry? I ax ye. ‘An’ if it is a free counthry, what’s to privint us from sitting on the bloody furriners that print Puck? In the name av Raison, why shouldn’t we? I appale to yer intilligence! In ould Ireland we had to behave oursels— bud here we are American citizens, an’ it’s a privilige av an American citizen to knock down the man that threads on the tail av his coat. I spake figuratively whin I charge Puck with having. throd on the tails av our coats; ay, an’ on the tails av the coats av Brian Boru an’ Malachi, too, Mr. Mutcany.—I rise to a pint av arther Mr. Chairman, Brian Boru an’ Malachi niver wore coats, an’— Mr. Larxin,—Sit down, ye omadhaun; ye emissary av Puck, sit down! Dye reflect on me knowledge av Irish history? Mr. Mutcany.—Reflect on yer knowledge av Irish history, is it? NotI! You know as much about Irish history as ye do about Zoé- logy. : Mr. Larxin.—Mr. Chairman, darlint, d’ye hear‘him? Mulcahy, I'll make an impression on ye whin I get ye out. Cxairman.—Cum to arther, gintlemin. Mr. Larkin, will you g'wan? Mr. Larxkin.—I will, barrin’ I'm stopped, an’ bad luck to the man that stops me. Can’t we shu Puck fur defamation av karacter, fur disthroying the mimiry av Brian Boru an’ Malachi. “‘ Paceably, if ye can; foorceably, if ye must,” is me motto. “An’ if we can’t get damiges av the spalpeen, sure we can damige the furriners thimsels. An’ why not get REpoRTED FOR Puck By L. C. E. R. LARKIN (séanding.)—Have I the flure, Mr. Chairman? Cuairwan.—Bedad, ye luk as if ye that broth av a boy, the Hon. James O'Brien, to introduce into Congress a bill, obliging aich masther av a vessel to take fifteen furriners have liberty? I move that ye appint a com- mittee av three, wid mesel’ as chairman, to wait on the Hon. James O'Brien, to state our gravances, Cuairman. —I appint Misthers Larkin, O'Donahue, an’ Grady such committee, ‘The members, thirsty souls, had, one by one, been leaving the room to brood over their wrongs—‘‘an’ a dhrop av the crachur,” par- ticularly over the “dhrop av the crachur.” The report of their proceedings, which I read toa quorum immediately before they adjourned, gave great satisfaction. I failed to state, how- ever, that I intended to send it to Puck. THE RISE OF THE HAT. This is where it began, modest and lowly- minded, fe. ox, oe Was'nt contented, and took another jump. And this is the look-out for the comming wid him on-every thrip from any pourt in the United States? In the name av common sinse, why should we live in this country, if we can’t THEATRES A “Clergyman’s Matinée" of the Broapway Pinafore. Miss May Croly is under the protecting wing of Miss Clara Morris, acting out West, Aimée at Bootn’s is testing the Pinaforic possibilities of ‘le Petit Duc,” with the charming little Beaudet as secunda donna, When “Engaged” goes from the Park, the “ Hovel of Mendacity"’—we beg pardon—the “Palace of Truth” takes its place, and Gilbert will be interpreted by Mesdames Agnes Booth and Katherine Rogers, which is a team, No “Caste” at WaLtack’s, after all. They propose to go in for the “Fast Family ;” or, inthe original Sanskrit, ‘la Famille Benoiton.” But yet for a little while “‘A Scrap of Paper” re. mains to us, and it is our artistic duty to make the best of it. As the Square brings out ‘Lost Children” to-morrow night, we are unable at this writing to do adequate critical justice to the latest pro- duction of the Cazauranic genius and scissors; further than to remark that it will be mounted and acted in the style for which this popular house is—etc. The “Pinafore” that was put on at the FirtH AVENUE last week was chiefly remarka- ble for a charming Buttercup, and a fine Cap- fain (Mr. William Hamilton), and a very mild Admiral; also a Josephine who was not particu- larly mild. We have before commented on Miss Ida Foy’s piquancy as a Cousin, We wish she were ourn, The Easter Festival Reception and Ball of Palestine Commandery, K, T., No. 18, took place at the ACADEMY oF Music, on Monday last, and was a grand success, owing largely to the energy and efficiency of the chairman, Mr. George Ott, jr., and his committee; and also to the artistic master-mind that made its presence known in the decorations and scenic effects, The friends of Puck must not fail to attend an entertainment to be given at an early date at Haines’s Pianaforte Rooms for the benefit of an afflicted highly-bred Britisher, who has severely strained the muscles of his neck, and who, for the time being, is perfectly helpless. ‘The affair is under the auspices of Mrs. Francis Carter and other well-known charitable New York ladies. At the Bowery, week after next, Mr. John Mack brings out his drama of New York life entitled ‘Adéle, or the Saleslady.” We are bound to state, in our capacity of newspaper men, we should have more sympathy with Adéle if she were a saleswoman; but the Bowery likes its titles, as an Englishman likes his game, a little high; and the name need not militate against the success of the drama, which we hear is vigorous and effective. Mr. Lester Wallack takes his company to the Brooklyn AcaDEMy OF Music, this after- noon, to play “A Scrap of Paper.” The pro- ceeds of the performance are to be devoted to the endowment of ‘an actor’s bed” in the Brooklyn Homeopathic Hospital. Mr. Wallack, with characteristic generosity, gives his own services and those of his company and orches- tra in aid of this most laudable object. Miss Mary Anderson gives up her matinée for the occasion. The house is already sold, So further remarks from us are superfluous. ” is the latest agony Aneweys for the Anrious. HASELTINE.—She isn’t a he, W. M. R.—We thank you, sir, we offer you our edi- torial benediction, and we desire to be understood as summer, encouraging you to go on in your headlong course. comicbooks.com