Puck — March 19, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

18. PUCK. ay PUCK. J'No. 13 NonTu WiLuiam Street, New YoRx. FOR SALE BY ALL ALL NEWS DEALERS. olla To Susscripers. OS. KEPPLER. HWARZMANN. H. C. BUNNER: SPECIAL } NOTICES, 2 Landoo, at. atthe News Aen fs Messrs. HENRY ia GILLIS ‘& CO., Prunes Cross, aid at THE WILLMER & ROceie NEWS COMPANY, it Bow, werie Street, Fleet Street, and in) Paris-on file at the ‘ Hi ‘Office, 49 Avenue de I’ Opera. ‘We cannot undertake to return rqected communications, and ception. tothis rule we can make no ex AB Retittvess by Money Order, ee. are to be to Kerrier & SCHWARZMANN. ‘@a- Our advertising friends are only required to pay bills reeset on the Dllieads Of But, with cet samp, weraeea RePPLEN & SCHWARZMANN, Puce Are ey Fe Frisacor' the Co ‘Colonel? "| Song. of ‘the Impecunious—poem, a Hisrory or Omran. oe ais, Teele sie K. Munkittnck, « Railroad on Broad: roadway: pects. 2008, ea val Siew Dibcpline—ies, A Cool yeration—ill * A Non Explosive Idyl-poem, A New Rotifer. eatres. Red, Yellow, and Green. Puck's Excnances. ROYLTY. OYALTY had its little splurge last week. Mrs. Guelph, the highly respectable and peculiarly parsimonious old lady who ‘waves an impotent but showy sceptre over the destinies of the British populace, has married off another of her family. This is Arthur, one of the minor Princes, a young gentleman who has occupied several omamental positions in the army, and has erally led a life sufficiently useless and im- Becile to keep up the traditions of his trooly royl House, which has never done- anything more than live free of charge and perpetuate itself. In fact it is very doubtful whether the ances- tors of the young man who has just been wed- ded with a blare of trumpets and newspaper cormemnonde nts, have at any time been capable g on their position in a more serious Tight than as a “fat thing.” Royalty has never meant to them much more than a huge “ free lunch.” One would squander the public money. Another would hoard it. That sums up very nearly all the difference between the various specimens of the imported stock that sits calmly and contentedly on the throne of dead Plan- tagenets and Tudors, unshamed by the ghostly presence of greater monarchs, unmoved by the memary of noble deeds. True, the present bridegroom can boast of the possession of a father who tried to be royal after his own fashion. He made ita rule never to touch any article sullied by the contact of plebeian flesh, until it had passed through the Purifying me medium of noble fingers. For instance, the uaittee t loaded had to be to the Pu Albert y a nobleman kept for the purpose. And yet he was only a Prince Consort, poor Papa Albert—a mere marital functionary whose duty it was to keep the di- vine fire of Brunswick alight upon the English altar. What might he not have done had he been anointed with the sacred original genuine take- no-other oil of royalty ? But even this sweet reminiscence of the pa- ternal pride cannot throw a shade of royalty about the very commonplace young man who 4 has just married the Princess Margaret of Prussia. And he can not go in for that sort of thing himself, since the wholesome lash of the master-satirist sent a thrill of shame through the dull circulation of the British body social; and taught the world that a King might be, and sometimes is, a Snob. Still, we gush over the young man and his marriage in newspaper extras and cable re- ports and knowing editorials, as if the event actually had some Social importance or politi- cal significance. Gush over this triviality—and dismiss with a casual paragraph’the vast and active discontent of overworked and underfed labor throughout Great Britain—a discontent not wholly allayed by the condescension of Her Most Gracious Majesty Victoria, who occasionally humbles herself to read tracts to the Windsor working- man. THAT WALKING MATCH. Our artist having positively refused to draw any more pedestrian pictures, the literary staff of Puen has been thrown upon its own resources, But the staff feels itself equal to the occasion. With the assistance of a brilliant German humo- rist, it has produced the following diagram of the track, as it appeared at a late hour on Saturday. The realistic art displayed in this effort will be readily appreciated by all, and contemplation of such a typographical ‘chef- d’ceuvre may prove some solace to losing betters. MADISON AVENUE. FOURTH AVENUE. . O' Leary—[Retired]. . Hanineaa-" [Spec attention called to fidelity with which legs are reproduced]. . Ennis—[Observe fresh appearance and clear com- plexion]. /, Blarsted Briton—[ Beastly baw, ye know]. ‘‘ BEACONSFIELD never smokes.” Then he can never experience the peculiarly ecstatic sensation that steals over a man, when, not noticing that his cigar has dropped from the holder, he gives a vigorous pull, and sucks in a week's accumulation of nicotine. Tue latest recipient of gratuitous advertising is Bianca Bianchi, who has been styled “the Baden Nightingale.” Of course she is coming to this country next season—but we are pre- pared for her. Several of her immediate prede- cessors have been “‘ Baden ceuf.” Parksrings. Ann Doroan is out. Dw pianissimo, hey? 2 Dm the cowcatcher? O'Leary did come out first, anyway. In everybody's mouth—Buttercup pie. ” ~ A soyr mash— Flirting with an old maid. Is a brace of titled prodigals a pair of Sir spenders? Morro of D.L.& W.R.R. Sloan sure— not to get there. Tue snake is not much of a beauty, yet he always travels on his shape. Some men read a very funny thing with an invare chuckle—others induige in jesttickle- tion. Some of the very best men we know we sel- dom meet except at funerals—and walking- matches, Equivatent aphorisms—Similia similibus curantur," and “ Off with the old love, on with the new.” Tue soldier may draw a useful lesson from the old carpet, which shows its colors the plainer the more it is beaten. = Why is a corner peanut seller like an apo- thecary? Give it up so soon? Why because he does business on a small scale. ‘Tue birthplaces of Lincoln and Jeff. Davis are only one hundred miles apart. They will never be so near together again. As a sheep before his shearers is done, so is the provincial gentleman who openeth his pocket-book to Triplicate Monte. Tuose who bet their money on O'Leary will tell you that the “height of annoyance” is forfeit. Accent on the last syllable, if you please. Sprinc is coming—A man saw acowslip yes- terday.—State Register. That was what you might have called an absence of all acoustic properties, Tue man who can balance himself on a chair and draw on underclothing, trousers, stockings and shoes, without coming in contact with the wet floor of the bath-room, is qualified for the position of tight-rope walker in a circus. THERE are simple remedies for some of the most gigantic evils that oppress mankind, Frin- stance [. Y. World], if we would allow the string tnat connects a pair of slippers when they are purchased, to remain uncut, we could sling them over the gas bracket every night, and know exactly where to find them in the morning. Wotice. No. 9 (issue of May 7th, 1877), No. 14 (issue of June ¢th, 1877), No. 26 (issue of September sth, 1877), No. ‘56 (issue of ‘April grd 1878), and No. 57 (issue of Aprit roth, 1878) of * Puck” will be bought at this office, No. 13 North William Street, at 25 Cents' per copy. Also No. 47 (issue January z0th, 1878), at 10 cents. comicbooks.com