Puck — March 5, 1879 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LENT, ‘Now’ comes the:season sealed and set apart” For meatless dinners and religious thought; ‘The purse-strings of the public are drawn taut, Dull is what poets call “+the busy mart.’” Now for the maiden of the young man’s heart Less freely is thee theatre-ticket bought. Now does the colored waiters, fishball-fraught, Through the dime-restaurant busily skim and dart. And now retires the milliner, to dream’ + ; Of Easter bonnets when the fast is through, And the first Spring pea bursts its emerald pod: While fair mermaidens in the North Gulf Stream, Blush as the azure grows more deeply blue ith, blasphemous lamentations of the Cod. FITZNOODLE IN AMERICA. LXXVIII. LENT AND! PEDES- TRIANISM. Ya-as aw, now, at the pwesent time, there is a perfect cwaze for pedes- twianism, faw wagers, yer know. Everwybody walks, men, women and small childwen, 2 Jack and I have not been giving the mattah any considerwable amount of .attention,’ because we have been in such extwaordinarwy: wequest by New York fashionable people who quite appweciate our honorwing their wesidences with our pwesence at varwious descWiptions of entertainments. It’s Lent now, yer'see, and it’s quite the cor- wect thing for people who don’t care a wap or a bwass farthing about. the weligious ar- wangemerft to pwetend to, be desperwately pious, because they have an opportunity of westing a little, and are enabled to wecuper- wate and be pwepared faw maw fwivolity when the six weeks are ovah. Aw I don't especially object. to the Woeman Catholics going in for this sort of thing wigidly —awit’s all wight—but aw cahn’t see why Amer- wican Pwotestants should worwy themselves about it. Amerwicans cahn't have a wegular Church of England he-ah, because this countwy isn’t England, yer know, and no fellaw evah heard of a Church of Amerwica. Therefore, ye see, Amerwican Pwotestant Episcopal people taking any twouble about Lent is, aftah walljonly a copy of the weal thing as it is done in Gweat Bwitain—although it is always, as I fwequently wemark, d-d-devil- ish, flatterwing to a fellaw to find that the most cherwished institutions of his countwy are en- shrwined in the. hearts of Amerwicans who are © desirwous of being considered good form. Jack has aw just wead what I have witten, and thinks the subject is not a verwy good in- twoduction to pedestwianism. Haw, haw!— not bad, by Jove! I nevah do twy to wite any- thing that can be considered corwect accord- ing to wegular wules and wegulations. If I did, I should soon dwift into the indifferwent style of those horwid uecrwarwy aod newspapah men, and I don’t want to do that, yer know, at any pwice. I wathah wejoice in the pwivilege —a sort of woving commission—to say what I please without weferwence to any other fellaw’s feelings. But. apwopos of pedestwianism, it isn’t the most wavishing sight in the worwld to see sev- females in short dwesses and widing- whips in their hands walking wound and wound “a twack,” as they call it he-ah, and then. we- tirwing faw.a ibwief/perwiod, only to walk wound “and wound: again with wenewed in- cweasedy or decweased vigor —usually de- See ere oP aletasates ‘| sucha dweadful fuss of everwything that it is Aw men do this kind of thing, too, but then their pedestwian feats are not nearly so inter- westing as those of the fairwer cweatures. I nevah went to such.a peculiah entertain- ment at home; but in this countwy they make bwought undah .a’ fellaw’s notice, and he is obliged to see whatevah is twanspirwing, just to get wid of all the people who baw you about it. We went to a building on Fifth Avenue—I don't wecollect the numbah of the stweet—I believe the place was formerly a carwiage we- positorwy. ~~ When we weached the first floor, we observed aidescwiption of wace-course wailed off, and a lot of sawdust and othah stuff stwewed wound it. There were a numbah of individuals stand- ing about and severwal chairs. Thrwee or four fellaws were sitting at a table witing in books, and anothah fellaw amused himself by winging a bell apparwently whenevah his spirwit moved him. And aw, by the way, anothah fellaw turned wound. a circular canvas wheel we- volving on its axletwee, attached to floor and ceiling, with. some numbahs on it, except that on one section it said something about a “last lap.” Wondah what the d-deuce a lap can be? No fellaw, especially a female, can make a lap when she's walking; must sit to do that, yer know. There were some blackboards with a lot of chalk-marks—quite hierwoglyphics to me. Then the bell wung again, and there myster- wiously appeared on the wace-course an ex- twemely unpwepossessing female with disagwee- able looking legs and unattwactive feet. She looked miserwable in her tawdwy dwess, and was verwy lame in her wight leg. She was led by a fellaw who, I suppose, was her twainer. When she had stwuggled wound the wailed woad, the bell wung and she disappeared. Aftah maw winging, anothah female came on the twack, this time a wathah spwightly and not at all bad-looking cweature aw, quite Dwight and pwetty She walked with a spwingy gait, and had well-shaped calves and ankles— in fact aw, legs—with jolly stockings aw; quite a contwast to the othah cweature. I felt horwidly bawed, and weally could stand verwy little of such species of wecwea- tion, Cahn’t understand how even ordinarwy people can endure looking at it. These women, I was informed, were walking a thousand miles in a thousand minutes, or something of that sort, and invarwiably bweak down. The pwopwietor, though, always has an extwa supply on hand. The wules are verwy abitwarwy. ‘The walk- ers are never allowed to take a nap of maw than thrwee or four minutes durwation. Aw don’t think I shall evah twy to walk faw a wager aw. Brentano's Aguatic Monthly and Sporting Gazetteer will appear in April, under the edi- torship of Mr. Cc A, Peverelly. If liberality in name will insure its success, the new sport- ing journal is destined to be popular, Its object is to “ reflect a faithful chronicle of yachting, rowing, athletics, the rifle, base-ball, cricket, and all creditable pastimes by field and water,” and among the reflectors are to be Messrs. “Devoted Oarsman,” “ Long Tom," “ William Wood,” ‘“ Podgers, Blue Jacket,” S. M. Taylor, and Mr. Etc. 5 AT the supper of the-Masquerade Bali of the Cooks’ Association, recently given in Philadel- phia, the pidce:de résistance of the dessert was entitled .‘‘ Surprises 4 la Puck, pour Dames.” Which shows that Mr. Charles Junker, the emi- nent-chef, is not only a gastronome of taste, but aman who has a keen appreciation of charac- tér. , He seems to have got Puck down fine. OUT-EVARTSING EVARTS. Mr. Exuiott F, Suepuarp is one of those smug would-be aristocratic political lawyers, who is under the impression that there is finer texture in his composition than in ordinary mortals in the same line of business. This is the kind of man who never opens his mouth without putting his foot in it, as his recent letter to the N. Y, Suz on the meetings of the Aldermanic Law Committee unmistake ably shows, We shall content ourselves for the present, by reprinting one of Mr. Elliott F. Shephard’s short graphs without making any remarks on his elegant style: “I should have so submitted, except for a sense of professional responsibility — having been since 1873, in connection with four other lawyers, charged by the City Bar Association to. see that our confused and contradictory mass of city ordinances should be reduced into an intelligible code, and the materials thus sent in not being such a code, and for the refusal of the Common Council to adopt his report, and from being strongly urged by various mem- bers of the corporation to go on and separately complete the work, which 4 did in about five months subsequently to his report, and at great expense of time and labor, and some money in the purchase of books and the employment of necessary assistants.” THE THEATRES. Nisto’s Garven distinguishes itself by a revival of the ‘Black Crook.” This remark- able spectacular play seems to be Phcenix- like in its vitality. What with an extensive ballet, Bonfanti and De Rosa, the lovers of leg-itimate drama must surely be satisfied with the bill of fare provided for them by Manager Starin, “Engaged,” as prophesied by Puck, has proved an immense success. Anyone with the slightest sense of humor or satire, who neglects to witness it, will be guilty of a sin of omission for which we fear we shall never be able to give absolution. ‘There is a decided improvement in the man- ner of performing ‘The Sorcerer” at the Broapway, and it now makes a capital even- ing’s amusement. Of Mr. Bullock, a sacrificial offering has been made, in response to popular clamor, with the most satisfactory result. ‘I Ladroni,” another trifle of Sullivan's manufac- ture, precedes the ‘‘Sorcerer,”’ and forms an excellent appetizer for what is to follow. Another “Sorcerer” at the Lyceum next week. Is the “Sorcerer” going to “Pinafore” ? Answeys for the Anvions. Hasentine.—She was there. Patriotic New Yorker.—We insert your poem for the public benefit, although we have not made an ex- haustive study of the subject of which it treats. THE ALDERMANIC PENDING DANGER. Mr. Puck, give thy opinion, ‘Thou who art no party mision Tell us, if you ase aware, Has Mr. Fairchild acted fair ‘That without the least compunction He put on the Law's injunction Ob our Gity Fathers, who So useful are to us and yout Those very kind and worthy fellows, Whose pay is rather small they tell Gs, ‘They're always busy, never idle Are their tongues, which they should bridle Say if system cumulative Is for party, place creative, Or is the Law against such’ schemung Or is ita dream of Fairchild’s dreaming Either gladly will be prised «_ The Law or dream when realised, comichooks.