Puck — February 26, 1879 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. npn PUCK. . No. 13 Nor Wrr1taM Street, New York. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWS DEALERS. Terus To Suascriners. } Se Gap on or 96a Copy tor dicteen wesks. Tccosrearsp KEPPLER. Bustwass Manacen.. HWARZMANN, Eprror. H. C. BUNNER. SPECIAL NOTICES. Paya: Remittances Money Order, etc., are to be to Karrier & SCHWARZMANN. gar Our advertising friends are onl; aired to bills pfesened onthe blends of Poe, i car stamp. peraassxD KEPPLER & SCHWARZMANN. PUCK’S PANTHEON. This week immortalizes ¥ WILLIAM M. EVARTS, He 1s the William Maxwell E., The slinger of the Dic-ti-o-na-ree, Whose language any lexicographer daunts And the lexicographer’s sisters and his cousins and his aunts. CONTENTS. ‘ThefNew Republic, Pece’s Paxruzow — Waitt ‘The Martha’ Washington Re-| OM. E. iar . A Love St m. ‘A Great Deal Better. aia ‘That Canadian Court again, Masque-Raids—illus. Out of the Fold. Poor Chinee, Chinee, Bum-Bum-Bum! | Pucx’s History or Ormstaxn ‘and done for. ind Bulligator. iy jasquerade—illus. The Arioa. ‘The Theatres. Frrzmoopie tm America, ‘A Charnel House Orgy. foe keboonn THE NEW REPUBLIC. Tue San Francisco Daily Stock Report is now the administration organ of the recently established Occidental Republic. It will be remembered that this influential Pacific coast journal was the first to call attention to the treatment the States in that neighborhood “ had received by the action of President Hayes in vetoing the bill restricting Chinese immi- gration. Of course, under the circumstances, there was nothing for California to do but leave the happy family of States, and run a government ‘on its own hook. We'sincerely regret the step it took, but we shall always look back on that event with the proud consciousness that it was not our fault. ‘Turning’ from this. awkward little matter, it is a source Of great gratification that we are enabled to feliéitate the new Occidental Repub- lic the choice of its first President, Mr. Dentiis Kearney. There is no man, in that part of the'country at least, who is more fitted to occupy that proud position; in many respects we think that the Occident has done better than the Orient in the matter of Presidents, although Mr, Kearney is greatly indebted to Mr. Hayes, for giving him points in that mem- orable interview between them last fall. The whole business of California's withdrawal was positively arranged on that occasion. Messrs. Flood and O’Brien, Senator Jones, Bonanza Mackay, were mentioned as opponents of Mr. Kearney; but it was quietly whispered that they were too rich, Mr. Kearney, too, is rich, though not in filthy lucre; it isa much stronger, if not higher distinguishing charac- teristic he goes in for. It will not be seriously denied that Washing- ton was the alleged Father ofhis Country. Den- nis Kearney may with justice claim the paternity of the Occident ic,‘and while on this point, it occurs to us of these two great men have similarity. Washington said, “the British must go.” said, “the Chinese must go.” Both did their level best to get rid of these barba- 3 | Swore like a troope: | ties. rians—and succeeded. Then again, Washing- ton cut down a cherry-tree—Kearney drove a truck. Washington said he could not tell a lie —Kearney said that moon-eyed lepers were not desirable members of society, and some rich ten were lecherous bondholders, Washington r—Kearney swears like a troop of troopers and Billingsgate in combina- tion. Washington had a very multitudinous and remarkable variety of headquarters —Kear- ney took up collections everywhere. Washing- ton hada butler—so had Dennis Kearney. Wash- ington’s body lies buried at Mount Vernon— Kearney’s lies—but here, unfortunately, the his- torical comparison ends. But we yet live in hopes that-ere long we may be enabled to com- plete the parallel. THE MARTHA WASHINGTON RECEPTION. Ir was a great night for patriots last Friday at the Academy, on the occasion of the very successful Martha Washington Reception, for the benefit of St. John’s Guild. ‘his time no aromatic Pekoe tea was sold, with cup and sau- cer included, price one dollar; no dulcet strains from a Chinese orchestra filled the atmosphere, But in lieu thereof was a military spectacle and tableau vivant representing the inauguration of Gen. George Washington, whose name may not be altogether unfamiliar to our readers, The whole of Mr, Washington's relations, his sisters and his cousins and his aunts, from far’ and near, were summoned to take part in the festivi- ‘They were on hand, and with the aid of the very identical Bible on which Washington swore his inaugural oath, an effective picture of that memorable event was exhibited. Wall Street wouldn’t know itself if it could have taken an intelligent peep at this inauguration scene. The conspicuous absence at the pre- sent day of little red brick houses, Federal Hall, and cocked-hats and knee-breeches, made all the difference. The Press Committee Room was under the charge of Mr. Charles Chamberlain, jr., of the Express, whose genius as a host made that small and not over-decorated apartment a per- fect bower of bliss in its way. It takes a jour- nalist to understand a journalist’s feelings—es- pecially from a spirituous point of view; and we are inclined to regard Mr. Chamberlain as past-grand-master of his profession. A GREAT DEAL BETTER. “You want to go to dot Arion Ball? Oh, no, you don’ want no such ding. You want gwiet, galm regreation, uf der gind wot clefate your moral nature, Kellner! ein oder cup tea; and domn dot exbense!”” Puckerings. A tow girl—Mini-mum, Do you want to buy a pair of skates, cheap? Tatéace emphatically denies that awful row-boat story. That settles it! ‘TALMAGE wants to know, ‘‘ Is the young man Absalom safe?” Certainly, so long as he keeps the East River between him and Brooklyn. Ir takes nine tailors to make 2 man; but at the price they're charging for reversible ulsters this year, one tailor is all-sufficient to break any man short of a millionaire. DISAPPOINTMENTS ‘come to us early in life. One of the first we experience is when, in school-days, the teacher’s rod comes down upon the palm of the hand which we hold out un- flinchingly, because we have generously rosined it. Ouch!!! ‘THERE was no end of Puck at-the Arion. He was in the procession, and there were three of him on the floor. The great original takes pleasure in congratulating his representatives on the grace and skill with which they man- aged their crayon-holders. Tue calendar is an inflexible old-fogyish arrangement that has no sympathy with the pleasures and anticipations of youth. It made Washington’s Birthday fall on a Saturday this year, and thus deliberately cheated the poor school-boys out of a holiday. Ir there be a moment when the most dog- matic old bachelor is fain to admit that there is something pure, holy, and much to be de- sired in the connubial state, it is when he essays to trim the finger-nails of his right hand with a pen-knife, and cuts one to the quick. Wuen George Washington was six years old, his father made hima present of alittle hatchet, etcetera. “George,” said his father, “who has de- stroyed this cherry-tree ?” “ Father,” said the noble lad, ‘I cannot tell alie; the hired man saw me do it.” “Come— etc. ‘THERE are men who would pass the most ex- quisite of paintings without deigning a single glance. ‘They have no soul for art. Probably they would not know a Correggio from a chromo, in equally handsome frames. And yet the most unimpressible of them is invariably attracted by the artistically graduated combina- tions of dark tints that tip the finger-nails of the average barber. “Tue Princess Louise offers a bounty of £1 apiece for triplets born in the Dominion.” Now, we want to understand the conditions of this prize-tournament exactly. Is it to be £1 for each of the three youngsters, or for the en- tire litter? And what's offered for a quartette? We are thus inquisitive, you see, because, if there’s any money in it, we may move into Canada ourselves, ITotice. No. 9 (issue of May 7th, 1877), No. 14 (issue of Fune th, 1877), No. 26 (issue of September sth, 1877), and No. 56 (issue of April 3rd 1878) of * Puck” will be bought at this office, No. 13 North William Street, at 25 Cts. per copy, No's 82, 84 and 85 will be bought at pull price, comicbooks.com