Puck — February 19, 1879 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

5 PUCK. ’ PUCK S QUESTIONS." ‘THE great competition is closed. The distribution of the prizes is to be found below. ‘ ‘ We print herewith the answers of Mr, ‘¢ Fin- negan. Wakeley,” the second of the successful correspondents; but we have room for no more of the many clever replies we have received; but a few special answers Ceserve mention. For instance, Mr. A. S. D., to the question “ What did Foul Play?” responds, “variations upon his comb;” while Mr, ‘Lem North” tersely informs us that it was «chicken hazard. ‘The latter individual answers the question “What did Cecil. Dreeme?” by saying “ if her supper was Welsh rarebit—green monkeys with red overhauls, eating canned tripe,” and says, “The first stovepipe was put up at Simpson's, March 17th, 1111, after the parade.” He ends his letter with: ‘Send the prize packed so it won't jingle—slight misunderstanding with my landlord.” Mr. “ Gif" thinks that Foul Played a “ Reade instrument;” that apple-fritters may be regarded as keramics, if you ‘“‘keram” enough of them; that when Dieu et mon Droit it was Dieu too much for him, and he had to Droit up; and irreverently answers another query by say- ing “ Amfino!” Over the 2,110,499 other contributions we draw the oblivious veil of silence. Houston, Texas, January 22d, 1879. Dear Puck: 1am far removed from you, and will be later in answering your questions than others who may be less informed in that direction than myself, Iam glad you started, this thing. It is a matter of gratulation that at least one re- ligious weekly means to show the agitator of the Egyptian obelisk in America that it can’t be a monopoly in puzzles, In answering your uestions 1 have not alone been influenced by the consideration of pecuniary compensation— this being an object, of course, since penury often blasts genius—but my desire is to flash the focal rays of learning on others, The stern application of a ponderous intellect to the ac- quisition of four bits is a sight for the gods, and an evidence of hard times. Hard times are demolishing the cherished and traditionary customs of our sires. The happy privilege of showing our sociability to our friends, with the simple remark ‘them’s mine,” is denied us now. Hence I’m in the puzzle business, 1.—According to Malebranche, he was in a neighboring orchard appropriating a few russet apples for private consumption; but the weight of evidence is with Sir Isaac Newton, who proves that at that particular time he was serenading old Laban’s daughter with an old- fashioned lute, much to the mental disquiet of other members of the family. 2.—Mortuary reports clearly demonstrate that the primary cause is exposure to the blignt- ing curse of a poetical oligarchy. Oxygen and spring poesy get away with the best of them. 7-—Billy’s own words: “Mr. Gould, I de- sire an accommodation for thirty days upon ilt-edged paper. Your reputation as a bene- factor of the distressed has induced me to apply to your for relief. No? Gimme three- fifths of a quarter, then, without collaterals, to assuage the pangs of thirst.” 8.—Number 8 is a complex question, and requires deep research into history for the pr per answer. Its structure will not admit of an answer touching the ch—protector’s first use by the weaker sex. ‘The question is, what man first used that protector? Very good. Richard Cceur de Lion, a famous French actor, whose time was mostly taken up in travel, who is re- Portes as having had great physical strength [ y reason of Indian clubs, and who did his own washing. The peculiarity about his great- grandmother? Ah! there’s where ax in the rub! The peculiar structure of the retina of her left eye. Froissart first said of her, “ She's got a baad eye!” g.—Solomon's iniquitous injunction about spoiling the child by saving the hickory. It has caused more heart-aches than all the strikes of modern times. Those Israelitish youths who refused to be instructed into the mysteries of poesy of that. day were called ‘“ Stamps.” It is useless to add that for all such refusals they were severely reprimanded, or, as we put it —licked, 10.—Really, this question smacks of levity, and is ill-timed. There is no reason why an honest field of industry should ‘be jocosely cou- pled together with a purple field of gore. As for the cause of an excessive charge in the matter of shines, we answer that it will be regu- lated in time by the laws of supply and de- mand. Because industries now languish, there- fore prices rise. 11.—We do not think the advisability can be demonstrated. The ridiculous custom was first introduced in Palestine, a little over eighteen hundred years ago, by a gentleman whose name was John, It was written of him: “+A wet crowd by the river’s brim A wet crowd only wasto him, + And it was nothing more!” 12.—That' fable was at the firesides of our ancestors, but as this is an age of progress, it is scarcely to be expected that we will keep it alive when ASsop must make way for the “World's Fables.” There is nothing strange about the first part of the question. Bo-Peep, if she looks at her misfortune in a right light, has no one to blame. Her suicidal policy brought on the misfortune, Neither does the fact that George Francis Train exonerates her from blame in the premises, diminish her loss. Her Gracious Majesty, Victoria, never had a better shepherdess than Bo-Peep until she (Bo- Peep) heeded the voice of the charmer. Dis- raeli was exonerated, but poor Bo—! There is but a feeble connection between Bo-Peep's loss and the fable. 13.—No! It was removed from its former location by a royal edict in the 13th century. Upon the accession of Baliol it was replaced upon the shoulder, Write to his valet for par- ticulars, 14.—Then, by the living Jehu, we can read through that low-necked order. She's in for economy. ‘I'wo bits, was it? Ha, ha! She will invite Mrs. A. T. Stewart in to tea, And there they will discuss the momentous question of public charities. Let the press of America be careful and not thwart their purpose. Good may come of that teapot. 16.—Brother. For the son of Tom being a nephew of Dick, it follows that as both were reputed of the same profession they were equal to each other. Now Dionysius the Pork-Sticker was a thorough liar—hence the relationship be- twixt him and Eli, Things equal to the same thing are equal to each other. Which was to be proved. 19.—It’s the Khvostchniski, a species of ‘Tcheruyshevski. 20.—Thos. Murphy’s great-great-double-great- granddaddy.. -—Cats has music, but why? Claw-toed. ‘Tallow candles. Lucifer invented other great lights. 23.—The Galveston and Camargo railroad bill is before the House. It’s a good place for it; there is not enough room for it inside. When this thing is arranged, all news will travel faster. Some of our progeny may hear of their next President. 25.—Loony, loony! I am not mad! Iam not mad! Ha! hold me, ye Boeotian nymphs! It don’t hurt. Giraffes are countrymen of the man-eating African swell. Rabbits are devoid of caudal appendages—hence the similitude. ‘The man was partially demented. SECOND SERIES. 1,—The reasons are too obvious. I hate to explain, Because a bumble—ah, yes, because a bumble is neither fish, fowl, germ nor kanga- roo. It is nothing more nor less than a vain, shifting and ethereal bumble. 2.—Credit system and howling paragraphers when subscribers were in arrears. 3-—This is the innocent duck. alie. I will send you my picture. 4.—That depends upon what he had for sup- I can't tell per. 5.—-The old, old story. Ah, fond memory presents the panorama! There stood the house; here the tree; and yonder in the distant blue reached the tall spire of the village church. Slowly we walked along, unmindful of all things but our happiness. The busy sound of labor was hushed, The spirit of eloquence moved me, but silently I pressed her hand, and drew ' her half-yielding form closer to my side, A voice startled us—a bitter, scoffing voice. Like a rude gust when least expected, it burst upon us in: “Now, now, you gimme back my chewing- gum, or I'll go this minute and tell ma you let Mr. Wakely hug you.” She unsealed her lips and returned the relic with a gentle admoni- tion: “Here, you little spying wretch; and never you put this gum on the window-sill any more.” We parted by the river's side; the moon shone down on her and another proud and stalwart form, 6.—He twisted himself on the outside of some soup, and told his keepers that he would like to repeat the performance. 8,—Ask the watchman of the Manhattan Savings Bank. The Locksley at the disposal of those who overpowered him. 9.—Chrononhotonthologos, a tragedy. 10,—The great discoverer, Cadmus. That cheese-factor is a cad, as Fitznoodle says. Cad must be the reason we are reminded of cheese of the Chersonese. 12.—The first literary society of Boston gave it tone by adopting beans as a regular diet. General Gage was military and not like the great belles lettres lights, hence his prejudice. But an impartial observer will admit that beans have their uses.- They should, however, be ex- cluded from the dinner table of Queen Victo- ria, They produce corpulence, and this esti- mable lady has become stout enough, Colic is often ascribed to beans, Here is my butt, my journey’s end, the very sea-mark of my utmost sail: which means that I must send the other answers off some other day. FINNEGAN WAKELY, AWARDS, 1st Prize—so Cxyts. “ Young Brigham” (F. S. Wilson), Box 1148, New York. 2p Prize—25 Cents. “ Finnegan Wakeley " (John A. Kerlicks), Houston, Tex. 3p Prize—20 CENTS, yg “ Box 348°” (News Agency), Halifax, N.S. cents) ‘ Lemoyne Legrand,’ Passaic,N. Annie King,” New York City. U. Baylis,” Honesdale, Pa. Vindex,” Worcester, Mass. & S.” 6 Stuyvesant St., N. Y. Pinafore,” Denver, Col. Chandler,” 3 West goth St., N.Y. Sam Fipper,” Cambndge, Mass. Gif,” Box 551 Cumberland, Md. Lem North,” Loboken, 14th a } A. S. D., Baltimore. Worst best (1 copy Christian Union® “Nellie & Mamie,” New York City. Very wort, (2 copies Christen Union +), V. V. V. ‘Chromo goes with two last. “Vindex”, please send Messrs. “Finnegan Wakeley,” “Box 348,’ “Lem North,” A. S. D., and V. V. V., wi their P, O. addresses to this office, in order that their prizes may be duly forwarded to them, : comicbooks.com