Puck — February 12, 1879 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK’S QUESTIONS. Ever since the publication of the first batch of Puck's Questions, we have been so over- whelmed with answers of every imaginable variety that, had we the broad shoulders of our Atlas-histed contemporacy, the Wor/d, the original champion buzzer, we should find diffi- culty in bearing up under the burden. This must be one apology for a second time disap- pointing our readers. We have been able only to select out of all the competitors, the winners of the first and second prizes. One set of re- sponses we print below, The other fortune- favored braves will be duly disposed of next week, In the meantime, we can only inform Mr, “Young Brigham” and Mr. “ Finnegan Wakely” have only to send their p.o. addresses to this office to receive the munificent remit- tances they have earned. We trust they will not spend these sums in foolish dissipation or riotous living; but will conduct themselves with seemly moderation, Sart Laxe City, Jan 30th, 1879. HerewitH please find answers to all your questions. A certificate signed by our mothers- in-law would be too numerous to mention. As to our nearest male friend—his name is Henry. On the Brooklyn Heights he feeds his flock—a jovial swain, "I'is but a step from your village. Go you to him for the certificate, and he will sign, seal and deliver. So shall you save me much postage and oblige Younc Bricham. ANSWERS TO BATCH 1. 1.—In the dark—continent. 2,—They were ruined by the Fall. 3.—The man what stole his legs. 4—Buck Fanshawe. 5.—Buck cause, 6,—'Tis from Locke's hearsay. —The man who struck B. Patter’s son was B. Patters, and he struck him for the great good of his poster—ity. 8,—The wife of the missing link wore the first chest-protector. The great-grandmother was a monkey. 9-—Beating a letter-carrier. 10,.—They are not changed at all, Poor Trust is dead. Bad Pay killed him. Caught agin, and that's half the battle. 11,—Cleaner work than washing others. The Tribune took water and will not wash. 12,—By the tale—‘‘ What a sheep pair of breeches, said Bryan O'Lynn.” 13.—He wears low-neck dresses. see for yourself, 14.—Simmer it down, 15,—When John Rogers was burned at the fagots no bawls passed through the fire. 16.—Eli sticks at nothing. There is no re- lationship. A 17.—Taking the, Pope's nose last. Odd thou- sand, 18,—The cops, when they got the chicken thieves dead to rights. He drew a long bow. Read “ Sparronerass Papers,” ug. Look and 19.—The fire-| PUCK. 20,—Pius IX. His duties were performed in a Peter Funk tory Manor. He buyed the plate. 21.—“Give us a rest.” It’s adear little duck. 22,—Deadlight. It was not a liver. 23.—Depends upon the price of news. 24.—Not dyin’, but livin’ Boucicault. of trumps. 25.—Which would you rather do or go a fish- in, .. ANSWERS TO BATCH 2. 1.—Bee cause. 2—The Sextant—and put him in the shrouds, 3-—'Sno matter, 4-—Cecil, Hay? 5.—Jimmy’s sett, 6.—Beecher did all over twist, and is still untwisted. 7.—Walter’s cot. 8.—A lariat. 9.—A Reade organ, 10,—Talmage among the. Philistines, when he shied his castor. By its odor. 11.—Too much for good nature—in a mixed company. 12, — Cremation — whether the bein’s are baked in Boston or elsewhere. At the present it has attracted only General Notice. King THE THEATRES. Only six Pinafores this week. The Misses Sranparp, Lyceum, and FirtH AVENUE wear the, best ones, Mr. Edgar, at the Broapway, having success- fully anything but leered through Lear, has ap- peared as Major-General Othello of the Vene- tian Army with much acceptability. If you want to purchase a ticket for the Liederkranz Ball, see that you get it, asinferior kinds are often substituted. This glorious feast of soul and flow of reason will take place to- morrow evening at the Academy. No connec- tion with any other house. E pluribus unum, Was ist des Deutschen Vaterland ? The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks retrieved itself by giving an Elksellent ball at the Acapemy. There were several thou- sand fewer people present than last year. Puck was well received. ‘‘ Wardrobe tickets" were substituted for hat-checks, and were not un- pleasantly obtrusive on this accasion. As we go to press, the ACADEMY is a galaxy of brilliancy. ‘Ihe musicians have tuned their instruments, and are discoursing most sweet music in the cause of sweeter charity. Mr. Ar- thur Leary is the moving spirit of the Charity Ball; but he is well seconded in his efforts by a host of the gentler scx of the leading mem- bers of our fashionable society. Whatever may be, Puck's hard-pan opinions about our system of helping the needy, sick and afflicted, there can be doubt that the “Charity” is the ball of season, and it is an eminently correct thing to go there. FITZNOODLE IN AMERICA. LXXV. THE ELEVATED RAILROADS, Ya-as, everwybody must have been sur- pwised that I have nevah referwed to the wailroads that are now erwected in New York —I mean those called wapid'twansit woads which wun on irwon fwameworks along some of the stweets, and make a d-d-devil of a wacket by wattling. A fellaw pweviousto the constwuction of these woads was invarwiably obliged to weach his up- town wesidence in a twam car at a verwy slow wate of pwogwess, unless he went in a carwiage, or an omnibus, or wode on horseback, or be- came an ordinarwy pedestwian, A fellaw can twavel up-town in a tolerwably short space of time, and some of the arwange- ments are positively not bad, by Jove. Aw don’t mean to say that these Amerwican woads are at all equal to the Metwopolitan and Metwopolitan Distwict wailways in town—Lon- don—ye know; but still they are aw about as wespectable a thing as a fellaw could weasona- bly expect to find, at so considerwable a dis- tance fwom Gweat Bwitain. Its twoublesome peculiarwities are that there are no differwent classes nor differwent pwices, and everwy fellaw has to sit next to everwy othah fellaw, wegardless of the othah fellaw’s twade or pwofession, or the peculiarwitics of his garments, which are often dweadfully out of fashion. I pwefer our English first-class carwiage, where, in a majorwity of cases, you are pwi- vate, or, at any wate, you have comparwitively select fellaw-passengers. Anothah aw queer thing—if a fellaw wants to go in the wapid twansit twains, he has to pay just the same pwice to be twansported a hundwed yards as faw a hundwed miles. I am not in a humor to say maw about wapid twansit at pwesent, but I shall wecur to the sub- ject at aw some future perwiod aw. Answeys For the Anrious. Hasectine.—She’s off. Butter —You can't ring in any Pinafore on us. SAtsi¥Et.—You are of altogether too gloomy a tem- perament. You have probably been reading the English comic papers{ for a steady thing. You want to enliven yourself a bit. Go to the Liederkranz Ball. Get your- self up as a red devil with a green cap, and°take a pink domino or two out to supper. Then go to writing comic verse, and, possibly, you'll be rather more in the right spi or Anvil — comicbooks.com