Puck — February 5, 1879 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. eal A THERMOMETER gains notoriety by degrees. —Albany Argus. Do girls in a printing office like men to set up with?—Puck, That will doo Mr. Puck.— Boston Post. Wtu all the variety of canned goods in the market, we have yet to hear of canned hash.— Wheeling Leader. Ir your icy sidewalk attempts to haul down an American citizen, ash it on the spot.— Bridgeport Standard. Puck adds a new color to its cartoons every week, and is becoming a formidable rival to the rainbow.—. Y. Matt. A Lonpon letter says that white stockings are rarely seen, even within doors. Ah, where are they seen?—Oil City Derrick. Ir is strongly suspected that the White House and Mr. Hayes's liver are exactly the same color.—Phila. Chronicle-Herald, Can a full-dress ball be properly called a loan exhibition ?—Rome Sentinel. that belongs to the Rome Sentinel, a lot!—PUCK. Is the art of landscape painting acquired easely ?—Puck. That's a m-easely question, and yer better go ask the marines.— Boston Post. Ir is learned from an Eastern newspaper that Daniel Webster paid his debts. This proves what an eccentric person Daniel was.— Free Press. A Cuicaco girl's foot got asleep, not long since, and it took four weeks and a canal-boat load of alarm clocks to get it awake again.— Wheeling Leader, Ir is because he has heard that close attention to little things makes the successful business man, that the young dry-goods clerk takcs care of his moustache.—. Y. Mati. Wuat’s the difference between an old dame at the spinning wheel and a young urchin chew- ing tobacco? One sits and spins and the other spits and sins,— Yonkers Gazette. Ir may seem a little late to express sympathy, but if Job ever had a ripe and blooming boil fair and square on his Adam's apple, he has our heartiest condolence.— Wheeling Le.t.ler. “Wuat,” said an inquisitive youn, lady, “is the most popular color for a bride?” We may be a little particular in such matters, but we should prefer a white one.—Zémira Gazette, “Tere are no birds in last year’s nest,” But when you find in last year’s vest A dime, in what a pleasant way It makes you feel all through the day. —Louisville Cou-Journal, Tue N. Y. Herald wonders how Queen Vic- toria finds time to sleep, if she reads all the daily papers. The real wonder is how she manages to keep awake under such soporific doses of English journalism.—/iila, Bu.cetin. Ir is singular how a man’s mind will become geographically inclined after he has arrived at a Certain state of liquid fullness. He invariably mentions ‘‘ New York,” and bends over in the most painful attitude to do it.— Keokuk Constit- tution.—Sic. “ It’s strange that you should have grown so fickle of late, my dear,” said Mrs, Mic to her husband, ‘for in earlier years you were as staid as could be—you never came tosee me but you staid till twelve or one o'clock." — Yonkers Ga- selle, Owinc to the custom of dying the hair blonde, the guests of our cheap boarding houses are unable to note the changes among the fe- male help as accurately as formerly, the hairs in the hash being of a more uniform color.— Court Journal, Oh, yes,” Slowly slides the slimy slush, Sweetly swims the slummy stum; Slippy, slidy, slimy sqush, Spattering, splattering, soiling slum. All sticky swims the sloppy stuf, All slim and soft and sick the snow; ‘The spattered swearers storm and scoff, In sputtering syllables stern and slow. ‘This scurvy scum strews every street, It swirling soars like swallows swift, It slips our straying, sinful feet, And sticking, soils our saffron shift. Whence comes such smelling, scruffy slough ? What sense is seen in slimy scum? Where goes that shivery, scurvy stuff? And what sad scene gets sicker, some ? —Touched up from Graphic by Phila, Bultetin, Coronet Casey,.uncivil engineer, U.S. A., it is estimated, will reach the surface of the earth on or about the year of our Lord 2001, If George Washington’s memory then survives, the superstructure of the monument will be continued another hundred years. This is comforting.— Washington Capital. A New York correspondent of a Cincinnati paper mourns because the cartoons in Harpers’, Graphic and Puck are so far behind those in London Punch. But it forgets that they could not have kicked Funch out of sight if they had not got behind him.— Pula. Bulletin, Secretary Evarts is at the Brevoort House. —N. Y. Herald, \t would be simply unpar- donable to make any atrocious puns about the Secretary’s Evarts at Brevoorty, but an allusion to his indulging in the long passages of that ex- cellent hostelry might pass muster.— Fiila, Bul- tetin, A SAN Francisco somebody has been be- laboring Puck for caricaturing with an indeli- cate crayon the Marquis of: Lorne, his Louise, and his great official low-neck decree. ‘The San Francisco somebody has our approval. Satirizing nude busts comes with poor grace from a youth who habitually skips around in naught but a silk hat and and a spike-tail coat. —Louisville Courier-Journal. Ir there is ever a time in the life of the washerwoman when her heart is made to beat with joy, it is when she finds a diamond stud in the unwashed shirt of the young man who owes het a year’s wash bill. ‘Then she langhs to her- self and says: “He'll pay that bill before he gets this back, as sure as my name is Matilda Jane.” —Rome Sentinel. “Witt you have your necktie in a single or double bow-knot?” inquired the hangman as he adjusted the noose about the neck of a fellow who was about to execute a double-shuffle in mid-air. “Knot cither, if I am to have my choice,” was the so!emn response.—Syracuse Standard. ‘Tue Paris Figaro prints the following letter, addressed to “ Little Jesus” on Christmas Eve by a little girl six years old. We give it with the faulty spelling, which is, as the Figaro says, one of the charms of the original: “Oh God you dont know what I am goin to do that will please you verry much, No. Lam goin to rite youaleter. I am goin to hang up my stocking, you no, I have made a shawl and a petticote for the poor. Do you want me to give money on Crismas? “The wether is verry bad. Give us a brite sun to cure the sick peple. It ant my fault be- cause I rite so bad 1 am very sorry, when I am seven years old I will rite better. “Good-bye, God, say good-bye to the Holy Virgin and to your angels, Show my leter to everybody who is in heaven with you amen, “Marcelle.” Puck for the present week is splendid. The cartoon on the last page, setting forth a design for a new Custom House in this city, with Hayes, Evarts and Sherman as Caryatides sup- porting the portico, and Senator Conkling, bearing the fag of victory in his hand, sitting astride the ridge pole, is fuil of humor and of artistic invention, The picture of Beecher selling pews at auction is clever to the last de- gree. There has never before been so smart a comic paper in New York.—W, Y, Sun. “Tue Lottery Ticket” brand of cigars are so called because only about one in one thou- sand will draw.— Bost. Daily Adv. SSS eee NO LADY'S BOUDOIR IS COMPLETE without POND'S EXTRACT, Its various toilet uses are becom- ing as well koown as its curative qualities for Iaflammations and Hemorthages. Ladies preferring delicately perfumed toilet ar- ticles should purchase our Toilet Cream, Price $1.00, Dentifrice, Price 52 cents, Lip Salve, Price 25 cents, Toilet, 3 cakes per box, 50 cents, all of which contain a large percentage of PURE Pond’s Extract and are the most perfect preparations manufactured by Ponp’s Exreact Co., 98 Maiden La SOZODONT. To preserve the teeth and keep them pure and white, to prevent their decay, there is no preparation in the market equal to SOZODONT To preserve the gums in a natur- ally hard and healthy condition, there is no superior to SOZO- DONT. To purify and sweeten the breath there is vo rival to SOZUDUN of SOZOVON Sold everywhere, a perfect mouth there is no recipe like the use Consequently it is no wonder that the populanty All Droggists of SOZOVONT as a dentifrice has no bounds. PUCK keep it. RegistereL> TRADE MARK. VIRGINIA CUT CAVENDISH, MANUPACTURED BY MARBURG BROS. BEST WORLD. FRACRANT VANITY FAIR. A. NEW CIGARETTE gotten up in honor of the Paris Award. Each Cigarette bears cut of the Paris Medal and brand, Parisian Te farettes are better than ever, and ‘on reeel| sthmatt A CARD. To all who are suffering from the errors and indiscretions of youth, nervous weakness, early decay, loss of manhood, &. will send a recipe that will cure you, FREE OF CHARGE. This Great remedy was discovered by a missionary in South America, ‘selladdressed envelope to the Kev. Josera T. Daan, Send a Station D, Bune House, New Yous Crrv. In Memoriam Brigham Young. To supply the demand for the above named Illustration, another Edition of the Cartoor has been published, and can be obtained fre any Newsdealer or from the y Office of Puck, 13 N. William comicbooks.com