Puck — January 29, 1879 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. 13 GRANDMAMMA’S MIRROR. In this mirror—years ago— May be sixty-1 Peeped a maid, Who was young and very fair, Summer eyes, and sunny hair— It is said. She’s a little altered now, ‘There are wrinkles on her brow, And her hair Is more silvery in hue, But her eyes are kind and true, As they were, Only think, she saw herself Years ago, a pretty elf, Mirrored here! 'Twould be very nice to know Where the pretty faces go Year by year. What a treasure there must be, Hidden somewhere secretly, In this glass; For I know that pretty girls Always trifle with their curls As they pass. And I sometimes seem to trace ‘There the shadow of a face Not my own; But no sooner do I strive ‘To regard it as alive— It has flown. Then I fancy I have seen Grandmamma, at seventeen, A deceit! Yet it builds me up a dream Of the bluest eyes, that seem Mine to meet. Though I know it is ideal, ‘There is something very real In the face; Heaven bless me, there it is, Coming here with Cousin Liz, “Cousin Grace!” | —London Graphic, | | ‘Tue current issue of Puck is as witty and readable as ever, while the illustrations are as usual simply superb. By-the-by, the “ Merry Wanderer” gives the Sunday News credit for some versifying which really emanated from the columns of an exchange. We are none too modest, but there’s a limit to all things.—Bu/- Salo Sunday News. ‘Tue double-page cartoon in the issue of Puck for January 15th is called “I'he New Inferno;” and if you haven’t ten cents to buy the number you can see the picture by eating a big mince | pie and drinking a pint of cider before going to bed. “The New Inferno” should not be mis- taken for an illustration of the editor’s dream after making his ninety-eighth and last call on New Year’s day. It is hardly horrible enough for that—orristown Herald. Way do goats prefer old hoopskirts to chew- ing gum? How many pimples are inta buckwheat cake? Who wrote these lines: I've a peanut in my pocket, Emeline! Emeline! I'll jerk the kernel from its socket, In due time! In due time! To the theatre I'll go, On the floor the shell I'll throw, ‘Then I'll munch to music slow, Emeline! Emeline! —Wheeling Leader's Prise Questions, Detirium tremens can be called a tight fit. —Syracuse Standard. Dear Puck, the Picayune Fiend “ owes, you, one.”—W. O. Picayune, To make your collar last—make your shirt first.—Syracuse Standard, Mapame Anperson is a more famous walker than Dr, Mary.—Adbany Argus. Yes, John, wet may truly say Jonah was a retched man.— Yonkers Gazette. Tue wages of a Ah Sin are two dollars a week and board.—Rome Sentinel. Truat by jury is producing a great deal of trial per jury.— Pittsburgh Telegraph, Mr. Epison's electric light appears to_have gone to meet Keeley’s motor.— Camden Post. Give woman the ballet.—2. Y. Com. Adv. But Iet’s have no stuffing or other frauds.— Boston Post. A new brand of cigars is called “‘ The lottery ticket,” because only one in a thousand draws, —Boston Commercial Bulletin, ‘Tue crayon-holder worn by Puck is cut altogether too low in the neck for this arctic weather.—Aorristown Herald. A younG lady who sedulously selects the dances in which she will take part is a hop- picker.—S. F. Mlustrated Wasp, A Hato of sympathetic regret always sur- rounds a Boston tramp-he belongs to the might-have-beans.— Cin, Sat. Night. A FIVE-CENT cigar always asserts its rank, and is usually left to the sole occupancy of the front platform.— Zhe Court-Fournal, Tuere’s a b in every one’s bonnet.—. Y. World. Of course there is, If it were not in it it would be only onnet.— /%i/a. Bulletin. An old cow ought to be able to navigate on the sea as well as on land; we should think she might steer with her udder.— Zoronto Gossiper. We are pleased to learn that the musical peo- ple of Oil City have the organization of a Zi- ther Club under conzitheration.— Oil City Der- rick, Ir it be true that no news is good news, some of the Boston dailics are emphatically good newspapers.—/mproved Puckering from Phila. Bulletin, THE Mollie Maguires may well pause and consider, when Pennsylvania hangs two men for the murder of a person named Smith.—. O.” Picayune, Froripa has “shakes” of the earthquake kind. We suggest that a hole be bored in the ground, and a ton of quinine poured in. — Chicago Journal. We call Mr. Irgersoll’s attention to the fact that Sodom and Gomorrah are to be rebuilt, and respectfully suggest that he announce him- self for Mayor.—/ree Press. Arounp this section the tramps have already began to palm themselves off as Afghan suffer- ers, driven away from their homes by the Bri- tish army. - L/ila. Kronikle-Herald. Berore a Pennsylvania sheriff again executes a murderer, he should fasten to his ear one end of a telephone connecting with the Governor's mansion.— Phila. Kronikie- Herald. SECRETARY SHERMAN thinks the government will not be able to “ get rid of its coin.”, Why on earth doesn’t it start a daily newspaper, then ?— Burlington Hawkeye. Canapian bank notes are not quite as valua- ble as those of the United States.—Cin. Ga- sette. But then their janitors do not know so much as ours.— Camden Lost. ‘Tne report that Don Cameron has engaged the Widow Oliver to clectioncer for him at Harrisburg is pronounced a malicious false- hood.— Phila, Kronikle-Herald, We no longer question the propriety off con- sidering vessels in the feminine gender. They run each other down almost every day in the English channel.— Turner's Falls Reporter. Very often Josh Billings’s wit and philosophy are children of other brains, and other genera- tions, disguised in the tramp-like clothing of crude orthography.— Zurner’s Falls Reporter. Just as we were felicitating ourselves on the decay of the prize chromo, comes a pernicious person who announces a plan by which every- body can make his own chromos.— Cin, Sat, Night, A NevapA man drove twenty-eight miles to attend a funeral, but reached the house to find the deceased alive and recovering. He there- fore brings suit for $20 damages.—Det, Free Press. ‘THE American on Thursday published an in- teresting article on bar-rooms, The next in order will be a list of temperance evangelists who run off with bar-keepers’ wives.—Ba/, Ev. Saturday, Huxtey believes there was a time when men walked on all-fours, and he doesn’t mean that it was when they were tacking down carpets or setting out onions. Huxley never jokes.— Detroit Free Press. x Ir is now fashionable to take opera-glasses to church; and the day is not far distant when the members of Mr. Talmage’s Tabernacle will go out between acts to get a liquid clove to chew. —WNorristown Herald, On Beaver street, Friday, there were fifty- one hand-sleds at one time, and eight hundred and_sixty-three boys. The mumps prevailing in Danbury rather cuts down the supply of boys,—Danbury News. Ir the National House of Representatives desires to gain a reputation for economy it will at once dismiss its present chaplain and hire one who understands the undertaking business. —Fhila. Krontkle-Herald. * Awone other recipes, an exchange gives one to change red hair to yellow. Well, yellow hair has its advantages. Among others, it is an excellent match for butter, and that’s some- thing, surely.— Boston Transcript. Once more Dr. Cumming has advertised the day on which the final fireworks of the world will take place; but Dr. Cumming makes a poor advance agent. The show never follows his lay-out.—Mew Haven Register. Ir ever a man feels like writing Sunday- school hymns it is when on returning home late he finds the gas out and the servant-maid with thoughtful carefulness has placed the ash-box on the hall stairs,—Court Journal, : A FASHION writer says undressed kids are pretty and they wear well. The prettiest un- dressed kid we know of is Puck, and he wears —well, he wears a beautifully tipped crayon at an angle of forty-five degrees,— Utica Observer. “Tue Roman See” is the heading ofan article in one of our exchanges. Would it not be more grammatical to say the Roman sees ?— Cin. Sat. Night. Certainly. And it would be entirely proper to add that he goes one better.—Rome Sentinel, Ir it is true that no news is good news, some of the Philadelphia dailies are emphatically good papers.—Puck. ‘This doesn’t sound as much like a new joke as it does like a New York one.— Phila. Kron- thle-Herald, ‘THe new fashion of ungloved hands among gentlemen at the opera makes the applause more telling.— Boston Transcript. At the old Bowery in New York the fashion used to be carried still farther. They wore neither coats nor gloves, thus giving full play to their muscles in applause.— Boston Commercial Bulletin, comicbooks.com