Puck — January 29, 1879 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK’S ESSENTIAL OIL OF CONGRESS. ‘ WASHINGTON, Jan. 21st, 1879. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, The SEN, Dispatches, Mr. Porrer wished to disabuse the minds of those people who said he had gone into the ain business with the non-elected President of the United States, Mr, Tilden, He had never made a bargain—in fact, didn’t know the meaning of the word. But he knew where Louisiana was, and did not consider the gen- tleman who graced the Returning Board of that State as models of rectitude and propriety. Mr. Tilden was not exactly a stranger to him, and he (Mr. Potter) had no desire to whitewash or cover that gentleman with mud. If people will read a file of the New York Zridune from its foundation by Horace Greeley, they will probably find in some of the articles something that will satisfy.them on all points on every conceivable subject on which they may be in doubt, Mr. Potter, in conclusion, then showed how his committee had spent the $20,000 down South, including items of boot-shining, rooster- caudals, sleigh-rides, gladiatorial combats with the tiger, hash and trimmings, and seal-skin sacques, &c. MR. ACKLEN, the gentleman from Welcker's, objected to the item of $125 for two black-and- tan pups, and wished to know what disposition was made of the animals, and who were their present owners. [Uproar.] Mr. ACKLEN was called to order by several members, and withdrew his remarks, Mr. Butter had one day discovered a lot of cipher dispatches on the table. Odd, wasn’t it? No mortal man, except himself—and he was immortal—had ever set eyes on them. The cipher dispatches did not make Mr. Tilden a de facto or de jure President; therefore the whole matter was strictly private and confiden- tial, and he thought that members could amuse themselves to better ‘advantage in having a good time with lobbyists than in devoting time to Mr. Tilden and his wrongs. Mr. Hate desired to express his deep sym- pathy for poor Mr. Tilden, who had been so shamefully treated by his friends, who, after dragging him ont of Gramercy Park by the scruff of his neck, and much against his will, did not succeed in seating him in the White House, even without the cipher telegrams. By all means, fiat justitia ruat coelum. Mr. Concer had read the cipher dispatches, for he liked scripture, especially the story of Ananias and Messrs. Jacob and Esau. He would have introduced this resolution himself, but he thought Potter could do it so much better. ‘Tue Speaker here struck Mr. Conger on the head with a hammer to intimate that he'd had enough of him for the present. Mr. Hewitt never had any personal feelings about anything in connection with Mr. Tilden, but at the same time he had a great deal to say about a variety of things. It just amounted PUCK. to this and he said it, who shouldn’t, that Samuel J. Hayes ought to have the office that was at present wrongfully occupied by Ruther- ford B, Tilden, Rutherford Samuel Hilden never bought anything in his life, much less would offer to purchase votes anywhere, there- fore Samuel Rutherford Tayes ought to be ashamed of himself. january 22d, SENATE, 2 rae Our Elegant Navy. SENATOR BLAINE wanted to know if 7,500 naval officers were enough for 2,000 men, or 2,000 men for 7,500 officers—he forgot which. Senator Beck said we once had 600 ships, and it was astonishing what capital scrap-iron they made —at least the junk dealers thought so. He had an affection for the present Secretary of the Navy, because he kept his accounts in better order than Robeson. January 24th. Bratilian Steamship Subsidy. Senator Kernan had heard something about $300,000 for enabling a Brazilian steamship company to pay dividends to its stockholders. SENATOR Ferry was desperately enamored of conferences. It was a panacea for all evils. Mr. ‘lony Weller’s ‘‘alley-by,” in fact. Con- ferences would séttle the whole Brazilian busi- ness, and such like, to everybody’s satisfaction. HE IS GRATIFIED AND SAYS SO. New York, 26 St. Mark's Place. January 24th, 1879. Dear Puck:— ‘The 7th page of this week’s Puck is resplen- dent and glorious to all admirers of the “ Sage of Madison Square,” whose prose-poetic disser- tation, arrayed in all the glory of exquisite dic- tion and studded with autobiographical trvas- ured gems, is tremendously potent as to the keen, satrical, epigrammatical vein of humorand candor which uns so gracefully through the poetic lines evolved from the psychological brain of one of the most illustrious personages of modern times with whom I have the supreme honor of a personal acquaintance. ‘The grace- ful and sympathetic words you utter, respecting the “Dictator as a Poet,” find an echo in the bosoms of enlightened men and women, And I doubt not but that your “one hundred thou- sand laughers” will each preserve that page, that they may peruse and drink deeply of its inspired and cheering words when they are on the ragged edge of doubt and despair as they climb the ladder of fame. As a devoted and devout reader of Puck, I await with patience the next part of the entrancing theme, which 1 trust you will illustrate as only the genius and touch of Puck can worthily portray. With deep regards, Wa, J. O’Rearpon. Coneress is bothering its wise head with patent-law legislation. This is quite useless. Necessity is the mother of Invention: Neces- sity knows no law—ergo, she never taught her child any—and never will. In Memoriam Brigham Young. To supply the demand for the above named Illustration, another Edition of the Cartoon has been published, and can be obtained from any Newsdealer or from the Office of Puck, 13 N. William street. THE THEATRES. “Dr. Clyde” is clyding along at the Firrx Avenue. Hardenbergh is a hit. “Beasts of Prophecy” is the title of Mr. Fulton’s entertainment at the CENTENNIAL Baptist, Brooklyn, next Sunday. ‘ At the Park, Mr, John Owens’s “Cricket on the Hearth” is cheerily chirping to large audi- -| ences, and a lovely Dof—Miss Minnie Palmer. Manager Talmage announces a succession of startling novelties at the TABERNACLE. The change of bill will include several new variety acts and a revival of some old farces. Cornet solo by Mr. Arbuckle. “—. M. S. Pinafore” is doing well at two theatres—at the STANDARD as Messrs. Gilbert and Sullivan wrote it, and at the Lyceum as im- proved by the kind collaboration of Miss Ven- nie Clancy, Miss Lizzie Webster, and Miss G. K, Fortescue, who add an element of cir- cus which could never have been contemplated by the original authors, The New Jerusacem (35th street, between Lexington and Park Avenues) gives us this week “‘ Except the Lord of Hosts had left unto us a very small remnant, we should have been as Sodom, and we should have been like unto Gomorrah.” Unless the underlined novelty is a German farce, the title strikes us as a shade too long for practical purposes—not snappy enough, as it were. Mr. Edgar, of the Broapway, gives us this week his managerial Lear. ‘To those of the elder generation who remember Mr. Forrest's impersonation of this light comedy character, Mr. Edgar’s assumption of the part may be open to criticism; but to those of the younger, who have been brought up on the Lears of Messrs. Booth and Barrett, Mr. Edgar will come as a blessing and a relief. At the PiymoutH, Mr. Beecher announces an entire change of programme. Houses have been falling off somewhat during the past few weeks; but the management confidently relies upon the new attractions to make a phenome- nal hit. Mr. Beecher’s piéces de resistance are “The Wife,” “ Divorce,” “ Married and Not Married,” ‘The Liar,” “A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.” It is rumored that these will be followed by a revival of ‘Elizabeth, or the * Exiles of Siberia.” “God sends meat and the Devil sends cooks " —so says Eli Perkins. If this be true, Puck is grateful to his Satanic Majesty for such diabolic favors; for where should we be without the members of the two excellent societies of French cooks who have united to give us the finest supper of the season, including a ball— not of codfish or forced meat—at the ACADEMY, on the 4th of February. For the benefit of those who wish to keep up their French, the names of the organizations are ‘Les Sociétés Culinaires Philanthropique et Cosmopolite de New York,” and the Presidents are Messieurs F, Déliée and G, Nouvel. Answeys for the Anrions, Haseutive.—Take her in instalments. Bisutous.—We know of but one way to cure wine- drinking. Drink beer, Drxtz.—Where is the poem you sent us last year? Dixie, we don't know. Bat in the course of natural transmutation it may very likely have reached its ulti- mate destination, and it may be now encircling your manly neck—that is, if you wear paper collars. SasstMer.—We are sincerely sorry that we can’t re- commend you to the best music teacher in New York. The best one whom we know of is composing a sonata, and won't look at a pupil for love or money; and the next best has got something the matter with the sostenuto of his adagio, and we really wouldn't like to recom: mend him. comicbooks.com