Puck — January 22, 1879 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. THE GOSPEL TENT. OUTSIDE. Well! You're a queer sort of cuss! Thet’s wot I think A fellow like you, ‘As wot don’t play, smoke or chew, ‘Swear, lie, cheat or drink— HI! - Wot do you do? Sing, preach and pray— The d—I you do! In this yer circus? Oh! Wot, then, is its parpus? So! No, sir! Not me! T'm not of thet crew. Reckon if they Saw you with me They’d ax wot yer got. Well! Wot do you get? H-1! ‘Thet’s a —— shame! Healthy old game! Why! Y T wouldn't pay Dan (Thet’s my man) Thet little sum; Ef I did he'd be gone. Yes, sir, he'd die; On thet you ken bet, Well! Wot 0? the bell? Oh! Yer got to go? Then go ahead; Don't let me keep you. I won't be dead Afore you git through. } *So! I will go; Bat, Understand, Ef yer go for me, T reckon you'll see Me up and Cut. INSIDE, Here! T'll take this cheer. ‘Thanks! Not yit! Don't b'long to the ranks, So here I'll sit. Now, Don't yer forgit! Ef yer go for me, You're going to see How, T'll up ang git. * QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS. BROOKLYN WANTS TO KNOW. BRooKLyn, January 14th, 1879. Dear Puck: In reading the J/rish World this evenin, (which some one has kindly left at my house to my wife, I came across this peculiar sen- tence, which naturally caused a great argument between self and better-half as to the meaning of it; and we have laid a wager upon our re- spective views, leaving it to some uninterested intellectual paper to decide. I thought of writ- ing to the Journal of Commerce; but not being a subscriber, am bound to throw myself upon the only paper I do subscribe to for the desired information. Will you please give me the ex- act meaning of this sentence: “and doomed through all their wretched years to drag out a miserable existence on the ragged oursuirts of eternity."—Jrish World. No date. Picture of Geo. Washington on last sheet. 2d page, 2d col- umn. and greatly oblige Yours truly, J. Hate. P.S. Iam not a yearly subscriber to you; but I always read the English edition where I go to get my glass of beer and free lunch at dinner time. New York, January 2oth, 1879. J. Hale, Esq.: Dear Sir—I have the honor to acknowledge receipt of your favor of January r4th. In reply, permit me to say that I rarely read the /rish World. The efforts of a very small tea-party of discontented and impecunious Irishmen to raise a ruction in this land of lib- erty have small interest for me. The wrongs of bleeding Ireland are all very well in their way, if Ireland wants to cultivate them. But let Ireland do her bleeding at home. When an Irishman comes to this country, and, failing to get immediate employment in the City treasury, falls to abusing the murtherin’ Saxon, for a living, he becomes simply an insignificant nui- sance, And we don’t want him at any price. Concerning the special sentence in question, I can make only a general conjecture. It proba- bly refers to those eminent Hibernian patriots who button their coats over their inanly bosoms without the intervention of any conventional Wamsutta, and who, unable to enter Paradise without making this slight concession to the prejudices of society, are compelled to wander through space; seeking the outshirts of eter- nity, and waiting a chance to hook them while eternity isn’t looking. Hoping this explanation will prove satisfactory, The third thousand of those little books are nearly gone Hows that old Boy. Puck was all sold at every news stand be- fore I could get down town—Good— Give me another— New York, January 2oth, 1879. B, E. Fannina, Esq., Teacher of Dancing : Dear Sir—I beg leave to acknowledge receipt of your favor of January 11th. You need feel under no obligations to me for the free advertisement I have given your maiden effort in literature. If you can stand it, I can, My thanks are due you for your courteous proposal with regard to the inspiration in native bottles. Prudence, however, might have dic- tated to you the advisability of gauging the capacity of the person you address before mak- ing so rash an offer. As to the Hon. Mr. Fitznoodle, I really can- not tell you why he does not visit the Canadian court. (?!! The ways of Fitznoodle are past finding out. But if the Hon. Gentleman should at any time decide to brave the provincial terrors of Ottawa, and feel himself deficient in the noble art of bowing before a second-class deputy sovereign, he will undoubtedly, Mr, Fanning, call on you for instruction. I am glad to hear that the third thousand of those little books is gone—glad, in spite of the irreverent and familiar form of address which you see fit to adopt in communicating with me. I am also glad to learn that Toronto appreciates my paper. It is the only excuse I have ever heard for the existence of Toronto, “Give you another”? Some day, very pos- sibly, Mr. Fanning. But is life no longer sweet to you that you thus court destruction ? Believe me, dear sir, Very truly yours, Puck, RAPID TRANSIT. Mr. Cyrus Fietp is a very enterprising man, and what is more, an exceedingly rich one; but he is not so dreadfully smart that Puck cannot see through him. It is remarkable how very gingerly he handles the little grievances that the public has against the East-side elevated road. He won't commit himself to a promise of putting a little heat in those rolling ice-boxes of his, because a passenger is liable to catch cold when he comes out in the open air. How very considerate this is ! Then he thinks that fares are very low, be- cause in England they are higher. But John Bull can’t teach us anything about railway traveling—except the best Way of los- ing your baggage, and how to endure with equanimity being boxed up for a few hours. Let Cyrus take a lesson from the West-side road, and we may yet be able to say something pleasant about him. Anyway, if this winter we can get to Harlem within an hour or two without being frost-bitten or trampled to death, we shall die happy. - Wot! I remain, dear sir, Can’t a man drop An oath ia yer shop? Very truly yours, Daa Puck. Don’t make a fuss. Tain’t the man + To kick up a row; Bat when I gets riled I’m apt to get wild THE CANADIAN CHESTERFIELD. It appears that in our sketches of the para- And lay somebody low. Well! I'm off, somewhar, When I git thar Tl tell All wot I saw. [Paxsonat.} Toronto, 11 Jany 79. Dear Puck You are awfully kind to publish extracts from my little book on Court ettiquette. I'll set up the Champagne in “ native bottles ” when I go graphic menagerie the week before last, we did an unintentional injustice to the representative of culchahed Boston, the clever and courteous successor of Mr. Babbitt on the ‘All Sorts” column of the ost, Several of our exchanges have already called our attention to the fact that Mr. George B. Goodwin deserves credit Here is a cent (For the gospel tent); ‘And T hope the next man Will give yer more And repent: I'md—d Ef {cant toN. Y, Thanks again Why don’t “ Fitznoodle in America” visit the Canadian Court (?!! Respectfully, B, E, Fanning, Teacher of Dancing for that excellent combination of original and selected humor. Editor and artist can only make their best apologies to Mr. Goodwin, and ask his indulgent consideration of the close proximity of New Year's day to the date of the erring article. FREDERICK. comicbooks.com