Puck — January 22, 1879 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. Some people maintain that Byron was Shake's peer.— Yonkers Gasetle. Our part of the human race is fast becoming an ex-humin’ race.— Yonkers Gazette. Peopte still talk of tight times, but Talmage says he never knew them so loose.—Boston Post. Ir Brooklyn were to follow Philadelphia’s example and shut down on Sunday shows, Tal- mage might become a tramp.— Free Press. Unper the laws of Kentucky a set of false teeth can be seized for taxes, but the sheriff must run his own risk of getting bit.—Boston Post, Tuere is considerable difference between French and English. For instance, button in English would be un—button in French.—Bos- ton Post. In these artistic days, when you are asked to take a drink, your are requested to come and “decorate your inside.” —Buffalo Every Satur- day, Every opera troupe should carry a doctor for the benefit of the public, ready to give cer- tificates of sickness in case a prima dona re- fuses to sing.—V. O. Picayune, Tue saddest time, we think, in a young man’s life is when his girl writes to him that she wants her old letters, and that he can have his fifty- cent diamond earrings upon application.— . Y, Express. Tue Living Issue asks, anxiously, “Will you elect a drunkard President?” Yes; course; go ahead, send your name right in to the con- vention, and we'll whoop you through.—Bur- ington Hawkeye. Tu’ unwearied sun from day to day . Doth mostly hide himself away.—Pycx. And would to heaven the plumber-man, Would imitate this solar plan, — Yonkers Casette. Gotp has been discovered in New York State; in the United States sub-treasury. (If you want to dig for it, you will find the com- ination under the mat on the front step.)— Burlington Hawkeye, Now that the country has resumed specie payments, who is going to pay for our next suit of clothes? N. B.—This is a question that in- terests the stricken tailor a great deal more than it does us.— Burlington Hawkeye. Tue loss of A. T. Stewart's remains is a strong argument against advertising. If he had never advertised, his remains would have rested as quietly in his tomb as the remains of the fossilized merchant does in his store.— White- hall Times, Puck had for i:s‘ frontispiece last week a picture of what it calls a happy family. It con- sists of a ring of several paragraphers joined hands and dancing around, and apparently very happy. All except their noble faces and shapely legs are hidden by a copy of the re- spective sheets which they edit. We cannot conceive how the brethren assembled during the snow blockade, unless the newspapers are shrouds and they have left this field of labor. If so, who now shall govern America? After describing the various animals, Puck says: “These individuals whom you don’t see are the wild beasts of the Philadelphia Bud/etin, the ditto Xvonikle- Herald, the N. Y. Daily News, the Rochester Express, the New Haven Register, and one or two others.” He adds in explanation, that the above men- tioned cannot appear, having not yet got over New Year's. Still left to grind the all preserv- ing wheel and guide the Ship of State a little further. Will see you later.—Rochester Ex- bress. is Puck don’t mind the cold weather. A beaver hat and a linen duster suit him at all seasons.— Friendly but ungrammatical Albany Argus, “T ret yer, Mr. Johnson, fortune knocks at every man’s back-door once in his lifetime,” said an old darkey to his neighbor, on hearing him complaining of the hard times. ‘No fortune neber knocked at dis chile’s back-door,” replied the disconsolate individual mournfully. ‘1 know dat.” “Perhaps he’ comed ‘round when you want dare,” said the first. “But I say dat he neber knocked.” “An’ how do youknow? Just tell me dat.” “Well, cause I ain't got no back-door for him to knock at,” responded Mr. Johnson, with aa air of triumph.—Danbury News. Derfiderung. Kaufmann: Was find Sie fir ein Lands- mann? Haustnedt: Berliner Kind, mit Spree maffer jetooft! Kaufmann: Dann thut es mir leid. Bere liner nehme id) teinen mehr; mein Lepter war aud Berliner, der ift bet mix geftorben und id mute die Beerdigungstojten beftreiten. Haustnedt: O, wenn’t weiter nifdt is, denn tonnen Sie mir rugig nehmen; it bin {don in adt- jehn Plage jewefen un bin nod nirjens jeftorben! —German Puck. NO LADY'S BOUDOIR IS COMPLETE without POND'S EXTRACT. Its various toilet uses are becom- 1g as well known as its curative qualities for Tnflammations and Hemorrhages. Ladies preferring delicately perfumed toilet ar- ticles should purchase our Toilet Cream, Price $1.00, Dentrifice, Price 52 cents, Lip Salve, Price a5 cents, Toilet, 3 cakes per box, so cents, all of which contain a large percentage of PURE Pond’s Extract and are the most perfect preparations manufactured by Ponn's Exrnacr Co., 98 Maiden Lane. Sold everywhere. SOZODONT. To preserve the teeth and keep them pure and white, to prevent their decay, there is no preparation in the market equal to SOZODONT To preserve the gums in a natur- ally hard and healthy condinon, there is no superior to SOZO- DONT. To purify and sweeten the breath there is no rival to SOZODONT. For a perfect mouth there is no recipe like the use Consequently it is no wonder that the populanty asa dentrifice has no bounds. All Druggists A CARD. «To all who are suffering from the errors and indiscretions of th, nervous weakness, early decay, loss of manhood, &c. Il send a recipe that will cure you, FREE OF CHARGE. This eat remedy was discovered by a missionary in South America Send a self-addressed envelope to the Rev. Josern T. Ixmax, Station D, Biste House, Naw Yor City. GERMAN LIEDERKRANZ. 26th ANNUAL MASQUERADE BALL, ACADEMY OF MUSIC, Thursday, February 13th, 1879. Tickets at $10—admitting gentleman and lady, upon the cus- tomary conditions, can be had from the following gentlemen: C. Godtrey Guenther, No. 25 Union Square, J. Wi dmveller, Germ. Sav. Bank, Cor. 4th Ave. & 14th St. ¥mil Unger, No. so Park Place. Herman Ubi, New Yorker Staats-Zeitung”. No. ae Chambers St. keep it Cor. grad St. aud grd Ave. Boxes and Vickets at Schmidt & Curtivs, No. 33 Broad Street, and William Steinway, 111 East 14th Stre ARION SOCIETY. GRAND MASQUERADE BALL AT GILMORE'S CARDEN, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 2lst, 1879. Tickets $6.00, admitting one Gentleman and one Lady. INDIA SHAWLS. Arnold, Constable & Co. Havo now open their SPRING IMPORTATION of INDIA CAMELS HAIR SHAWLS ‘THE FINEST COLLECTION YET OFFERED. Broadway, Cor, 19th Street. SPRING STYLES 0 Printed Bordered Percales, PARIS PRINTED CAMBRICS, Chintz Colored Satines, apr sured Cotelines, ANI HOMIE CLOTHS, FOR DRESSES. . ALSO, CHEVIOT & PERCALE SHIRTINGS, &c., will be offered this week. Arnold, Constable & Co., Broadway, Cor. 19th St. HOUSEKEEPING AND FAMILY LINENS. Arnold, Constable & Co. Are offering a fluc assortment of 44 FAMILY SHIRTING and SHEETING LINENS, DAMASK TABLE CLOTHS, NAPKINS and DOYLES, NOVELTIES IN DESSERT CLOTHS, TOWELS and TOWELLINGS, WHITE and COLORED LUNCH CLOTHS, &. And a general stock of Domestic and Foreign White Goods, TERRY AND MARSEILLES QUILTS, BLANKETS, FLANNELS, Comfortables, &c., &c. Broadway, Cor. 19th Street. Faas PHOTOGRAPHER, 347 East 14th Street, Between 1st & and Aves., New York. —Closed on Saturdays unly. | THE‘BEST ALL TOBACCO CIGARETTE. Sold by all Dealers and Manufactured by B. POLLAK.N. Y. comicbooks.com