Puck — January 15, 1879 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. 7 RECENT IMPROVEMENTS IN SCIENCE. Tue CurysopHone. All Musicians are aware that the Zimére, or quality of the Voice, depends chiefly on the construction of the oral and nasal cavities; the Nose and Palate acting as Sounding-boards, so to speak, to the Note originated in the Larynx. A well pro- ‘portioned Chrysophone makes the most ordinary Voice as far superior to Grisi’s or Mario's as theirs were to the croaking of Frogs, and, by its means, the tenth-rate Suburban Ama- teur, singing the last Music-Hall Ballad, can plunge the coldest and most cultivated Audience into impassioned ecstacies, and cause the tear to flow from the eye of even the Professional Critic. N. B.—The Chrysophone can be so adapted to the Human Face as to appear a natural prolongation of the Nose and Mouth, and so unsightly, colored and decorated as to be the reverse of ~ (Chrysophones made to order for Soprano, Contralto, ‘Tenor, and Bass. 85 Fleet Street, E. C.)—Zondon Punch. (Funny for once!) PUCKS QUESTIONS. ropose to let his Ex: j JUCK does not tra-Esteemed Contemporary, the New York World, monopolize the whole of the prize question business.. He has hitherto , always steered clear of the puzzle department which ‘six small-boys and one school-girl with a blighted heart ask him to start every week of his life. But since so respectable a journal as the World has set the fashion, Puck proposes not only to take a hand in the game, but to discount all competitors. The fact is, when it comes down to asking questions, Puck is par- ticularly well qualified. -He has long retained on his large and talented staff the Champion Buzzer of the Universe—a man who could query Patience off her Monument. For this indivi- dual Puck has hitherto had no special use; but now he means to play him for all he is worth. He has for the past two weeks fed the Cham- pion on dictionaries, thesauri and catechisms, and now he is going to let him loose on the World, the flesh and the public at large. From now until the 21st Sunday after Septu- gesima, known in the church calendar.as Vi- ginti-unus, Puck will give weekly list of Ques- tions similar to the following, only worse:if, pos- | sible, and will receive answers thereto up to the above date, after which the polls will be closed, and all outside at time of closing will stay there. For the best set of answers and the next best set, down to the worst, Puck offers the following set of PRIZES. For the Best Set of Answers wad ; {1 copy of the * «worst best 1°) Christian Union $« ... § 2.copies of the { Christian Union. * + A chromo goes with the two last. Answers must be written on one side-of the | paper only, and must be accompanied by a certificate of good character, signed by the writer's mother-in-law, or, in case the mother- in-law is dead, or occupied, the writer’s nearest | male friend may sign the certificate. | _Wecannot undertake'to return rejected con- | tributions, and_to,this rule’ we shall in future make no exceptions; but stamps may be en- closed, all the’samie,’ - very worst The following constitute the first instalment of QUESTIONS. 1.—Where was Moses when the light went owit? 2.— Why do the summer roses fade? 3.—Who stole Stewart's body ? 4-—Who invented buckwheat cakes? 5.—And why? 6.—Who was the author of the quotation: “Shake not thy gory locks at me— ‘Thou canst not say I done it!” ? 7.—How much did the man who struck B, Patterson strike Lim for? 8.—Who first wore a chest-protector? And what was there peculiar about his great-grand- mother? g.— What is the origin of the custom of lick- ing a postage-stamp ? 10,—Why are five-cent shines charged at the tate of five cents apiece? And in what respect does this compare with the battle of Agin- court? 11.—Why is it advisable to wash one's self, and who first used water for this peculiar pur- ” pose? 12.—Little Bo-Peep, she lost her sheep, and didn’t know where to find them. How is this fact connected with the well-known fable of Bryan O'Lynn? 13.—Has the Marquis of Lorne astrawberry- mark in the small of his back? And if not, why not? 14.—The Princess Louise bought a tin tea- pot the other day, in Ottawa, for twenty-five cents, She did, indeed. Supposing she did, what then? 15.—Are there any authentic cases, in his- tory or traditional mythology, of baked snow- balls? 16.—If Dick's father were Tom's son, what relation was Dionysius the Pig-Sticker to Eli Perkins? 17.—What is the origin of doing in Turkey as the Turkeys do? And how many thousand idiots regard the use of this phrase as intensely humorous? 18.—Who killed Cock-Robin? What grounds are there for believing that the Sparrow lied ? And was the Sparrow married ? 19.—What peculiar animal supplies the place of the bed-bug in Kamschatka ? 20.—Who was the original Great American Pie-Biter of Hornellsville, and were his duties performed in a perfunctory manner, or did he bite the plate? 21.—How do you construe: ““Kipsciphomai ephilancigan katzileusthain”? And is katsi- deusthain in the aorist perfect, or is it web- footed ? 22.—What was “the light of other days,” and why did it light out? 23.—In how many years.from now is it probable that the news of the Mexican war will reach Philadelphia ? 24.—Who was Dion Boucicault, and what was he king of? 25.—If you saw a man chasing a jack-rabbit with a pink rosette on his left ear and the jack- rabbit ran up to a third-rate carpenter who had lost five wives by small-pox, the last one having been regarded by some physicians as merely a case of virulent varioloid; and the carpenter afterwards joined the greenback party and took to drink, thereby causing a depreciation in the breadstuffs market equivalent to the cosine of a—b-+c=d, and inducing the aunt of the Governor of Winnebago to elope with a giraffe from a circus which had previously gone into bankruptcy by means of fraudulent affidavits procured from a moon-eyed leper in the Jews’ quarter of Bagdad, it being am off-year for watermelons and rather inclined’ to the hori- zontal, with Italian fluting along the edges, would you consider that man insane? comicbooks.com