Puck — January 15, 1879 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUCK. THE TAMMANY BLOWOUT. ? Rr. Joun KEtLy gave a party on the JM "sth of this month, and, ‘with distio- 3S guished courtesy, invited Puck. Puck went. It was a very pretty little party, what there was of it. It was held in the large hall of the Tammany Wigwam in rgth street. The room was specially decorated for the occasion. Six well-developed plaster-of-Paris cherubs, sym- bolical of the likeness of the Society of Tam- many to the kingdom of Heaven, were hung by wires to the roof, their duty being to uphold in graceful festoons a long strip of green mos- quito-netting. A large and variegated green- house was turned loose upon the platform, and the rest of the verdant trimmings were furnished by the Hibernian live-stock. Altogether, the room presented a really brilliant effect. The ball had many other good points. The objectionable overcrowding characteristic of so many of our public assemblies was carefully avoided in Mr. Kelly’s entertainment. Nor was there, among the dancers, any wild and reprehensible abandon. ‘I'he dancing was digni- fied —calm—even to the verge of pensiveness. And then again, the painful spectacle of ladies left without proper attendance and escort was not presented to the. censorious public eye. To every lady in the room there were at least five or six masculine representatives of the principles of the Society of ‘Tammany or Co- lumbian Order. One charm of the affair calls for especial commendation. This was the absence of any extravagant tendency to over-dressing. Even among the masculine portion of the assemblage, absolutely full dress was not by any means obligatory. ‘The modest frock-coat was to be seen here and there, and even the unobtrusive shooting-jacket hovered cheerfully in the back- ground. Taken as a whole, it was one of the most charming little family reunions Puck has ever attended—quiet, strictly private, and almost, so to speak, confidential—but thoroughly en- joyable. Puck arrived early, took a look into the Committee-room, and found it dry. Then he went upstairs, checked his coat, crushed his clague under his arm, and stepped into the ball- room, meeting, however, with some temporary hindrance from an energetic and volatile mem- ber of the floor-committee, who pursued him with cries of “Hat! Hat!” and, on catching up with him, inquired plaintively and reproach- fully: “ Fwhat wud ye be afther doin’ wid yer hat, in among the leddies and jontlemin ?” But he was an amiable individual, and on the pur- poses and principles of an opera-hat being ex- plained to him, he offered no further opposi- tion to Puck's entry, and apologetically ac- counted for his action by pointing to a large placard in the doorway: No Smoking Allowed in this Ballroom. { Gentlemen Must Not Keep their Hats on in the Ballroom, Which made things quite comprehensible. After entering, Puck took a turn around the spacious apartment—it was strong on space— and then, observing the distinguished host (easily recognizable from Mr. Keppler’s eacel- lent portraits) in a box, high above the level of the floor, he entered and introduced himself. Mr. Kelly was very glad to see him. When two minds of such gigantic calibre meet, some grand marvel of conversational art is generally given to an expectant world, The expectant world, on this occasion, was not dis- appointed. Puck, after thanking the ex-King for his courteons invitation, and complimenting him upon his entertainment, remarked that the hall was “4 FINE ROOM FOR A BALL; to which Mr. Kelly replied, with a wonder- ful grasp of the subject and with his usual forci- ble and fluent diction, that it was “© AN ELEGANT ROOM FOR A BALL." And the two great minds parted. Puck now desires to renew his compliments and congratulations to his host, and to assure him that he not only greatly enjoyed his eve- ning in Tammany Hall, but that he fully appre- ciated the delicate significance of the occasion, and cannot withhold his admiration at the graceful way in which Mr. Kelly has chosen to signalize his retirement from public life. SNOW-BOUND. ‘THE reports are coming very late of the recent snow blockade; and the daily press, either with its customary lack of enterprise or through the newycarism of the reporters, has failed to give such complete details as Puck—ever on hand— supplies to his readers this week. All these tales of theatrical people being snowed up and singing Moody and Sankey hymns in a cold dépét while waiting for the grub which cometh not, give but little idea of what the cold snap has really done to the Ameri- can people. It has frozen the blood in the veins of politicians and preachers; until they feel as if they had a little north-pole instead of an articulated spine running up their backs, And, after all, this frigidity is healthy to some of our eminent people. ‘The hey-day in their blood has been getting altogether too warm. Some of them, descended from Irish kings, think they can be kings of the voters in America; some of them, when the heated term is on them, think they serve their Master best by dallying with “white-souled angels;” while Mr. Lorne up in Canada rubs the goose-flesh off his Scot- tish legs and wishes he had never allowed the low-necked, or low-naked, or bare-legged order to be issued. So we can take comfort in our cold snap: for there is no Yellow Jack at our doors; and A. T. Stewart must be in a good state of preservation; and Sammy ‘Tilden and Charles Francis Adams don’t thaw for a cent; and it hasn't chilled one of our dear friends, the paragrammists;—and last and best of all, Puck, who is everybody's friend, is as warm and genial as ever. PUCK’'S RULES FOR THE GAME OF BILLIARDS. 1st. No player to have more than one cue at a time, unless he be a Chinaman, 2d. All miraculous shots to be avoided (as far as possible). 3d. Players meditating a scratch wiil dis- tinctly state how they intend making it, else it will not count. 4th, No scratch to count, unless it be in the cloth, sth. The players are informed that the balls are expected to be used again, 6th. ‘The gentleman by the stove, who knows all about it, is to be “braced” at the close of each game. 7th. These rules are not to be scratched or abridged, but followed entire. W. Dupuy. FITZNOODLE IN AMERICA. No LXXII. SOME AMERICAN NAMES, Yaas, aw verwy odd the wemarkable Chrwistian names of the majorwity of Amerwican girls. Nevah took any gweat interwest in the mattah befaw, yer know, but now when I call to pay my wespects to Miss Marguerwite, I aw occa- sionally meet severwal of her fwiends who we- joice in these most extwaordinarwy names—so differwent fwom our gyurls in Gweat Bwitain. Ya-as aw, these Amerwican cweatures, or wa- thah their parwents and guardians and their godfathahs and g-g-godmothahs, are desper- wately fond of the lettahs ie. They're in the alphabet, yer know, and, I believe, are called by fellaws who wite books about gwammah v-vowels. Not quite suah of this, but tolerwa- bly certain, When one of our gyurls is called Gwendolen or Marwy, here she would pwobably be named, aw widiculously, Mamie or Lulu. Quite too awfully absurd. Jack and I have been intwoduced to at least a hundwed of young women bearing such cur- wious names that it fwequently makes me laugh immoderwately when I wefiect on it. “Addie,” one will wemark to anothah, “wasn't Maudie Dusenburwy's dwess, at the weception the othah night, too lovely for any: thing ?” anothah cweature will we- ply, ‘¢and didn’t you notice the attention that San Fwancisco fellaw paid to Lettie Wobinson? I wondah if he’s wich and wants to marwy, Perwhaps he does, He might suit Florwie or Lillie. If not, there are Josie and Maggie, be- sides Jennie and Lottie and Lettie--and then I quite forgot Millie, Fannie and Aggie, to say nothing of Kittie and Georgie.” Aw weally quite too awfully widiculous to he-ah such a verwy curwious convahsation, with such an extwaordinarwy atway of names. ‘There, at least among our set, ye know, if a girl is named Wose we call her W-w-wose not Wosie, and pwecisely the same with othah ap- pellations in our countwy. What horwibly bad form it would be if any- body were to call my aw sistah Florwence “Florwie,” and severwal ne-ah welations of mine and othah fellaws who are named Har- wiet and Henwietta and Katherwine and Mar- gerwy and Pwiscilla and Wosamund et ceterwa to have them with “ie” for bwevity. Jack has fwequently said thet Amerwicans lack dignity—this will pwobably wear off in time, but I dessay its the weason Amerwican girls wetain all these doll names aw, Jack has just wead what I have witten about these aw names, and I heard him say something about “infernal foolerwy."” Haven't the we- motest ideah to what he wefers. Suppose something was botherwing his bwain at the mo- ment. I am nota clevah fellaw, and I don’t twy—in fact nevah did aw—to say bwilliant things, as some fellaws do who have to get their bwead and buttah by witing faw othah fellaws to wead. I leave all that sort of thing, yer know, to Wuskin, Charles Weade, Miss Bwaddon and othah fellaws. Aw ya-as, quite forgot te men- tion Gladstone, P. S—Some aw horwid Amerwican fellaw, yer know, has been aw cirwculating a wumor that I was bawn in Birwmingham. I was bawn within sound of aw Bow Bells, I distinctly we- member aw hearwing them wing the day I was aw bawn. Aw. comicbooks.com*